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C-section Depression?

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My son is almost 10 months old and I do not think I will ever recover from the heartache and bitterness I feel about my C-section. I realized recently that this is a huge reason why I can't lose my "baby weight".  I think I have posted about this before but I just need to know who else feels the way that I do. I feel like my doctors are to blame, because no one warned me that my baby might be big, I was too swollen to push, or any of those things. When my glucose test was high, they should have tested it. When the us tech told them my due date was 2 weeks earlier, they should have listened. When I gained 20 pounds of water in my 3rd trimester, they should have induced me at 37 weeks like the midwives tried to pull for for me. When I was put on bedrest, they should have warned me that I could have to have a c-section.  I went through hell and 21 hours of labor and pushed for 3 hours only to be blind-sided by having to have a c-section. I am glad I had a healthy boy and we are both fine, but I find myself being angry at friends when they talk about their vaginal births. When I watch a baby story I cry and scream at the TV. I secretly eat a bunch of crappy food because I feel like I will never be able to get healthy, I don't want to have another baby because I'm horrified of having another c-section. I have zero tolerance for hearing anyone's stories about their pregnancies unless they went through anything that I went through. Does anybody else feel like this at all? I feel like I am all alone and like the hurt will just never go away. Has anyone been there and has anything helped? if so what?

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 2:51 PM
Replies (31-39):
mother_of_JGM
by New Member on Sep. 5, 2009 at 10:54 PM

I had an emergency c section, and I desperately wanted a natural birth but it didnt happen and then I wasnt able to breast feed, and I felt ANGRY and DEPRESSED, but it does help to find a counselor that specializes in pregnancy birth and post partum, that is what I have and it helps some.

Message me if you want to talk

Stacyf1979
by on Sep. 19, 2009 at 4:36 PM

I had an emergency c-section for my first child, I work at the hospital, and wasn't feeling well, so I went upstairs to the labor hall to be checked out. 15 minutes after I clocked out, I had a baby. I was on the monitor for less than 5 minutes when my baby's heart rate plummeted and stayed down. Of course, they RAN me down the hall, put me to sleep and did a c-section. I had alot of difficulty with this at first, and was very upset. It was almost a post traumatic stress response, as well as depression. I got over it eventually, my daughter will be 3 this week, and I am fine with it now, I just look back on the fact that I have a healhty daughter who suffered no health problems from her early, traumatic delivery (she was born at 35 weeks) My son is 8 months old, and I had a scheduled c-section with him (though I went into labor a week earlier than my scheduled date). I have no regrets for having a c-section. I recovered quickly from both surgeries, and had friends who had vaginal deliveries around the same time I did, who took much longer to recover than I did.

ladyluke2007
by on Sep. 19, 2009 at 5:05 PM

     I HAD A C-SECTION BACK IN DECEMBER OF 2008.  I WAS INDUCED BUT MY SON WENT BREACH.  SO I HAD A C-SECTION.  I'M JUST HAPPY THAT HE WAS BORN AND THE DOCTORS WERE ABLE TO FIX HIM UP AND HE IS A HAPPY 8.5 MONTH OLD BOY.  100% BOY.  I STILL HAVE THE HEADACHES AND THEY HIT A NERVE WHEN THEY NUMBED ME FOR THE C-SECTION.  MY BACK KILLS ME SOMETIMES IF  I BEND OVER JUST TO PICK UP ELIJAH OR IF I STAND FOR TO LONG.  BUT I TRY NOT TO COMPLAIN BECAUSE I GOT THE BEST OUT IT.  I GOT MY SON.

Lovin' Wife of John & Proud Momma to Ashley-22 (Lovin' Wife to Pat & Momma to Liam), Matt-19,Tim-18,Tasha-16, Becca-14, Davy-12, Tommy-6 & Elijah-8mos. & Gramma of Sarah-2 & Liam-3mos.

beachmom2009
by New Member on Jan. 19, 2011 at 12:13 AM

i know what your feeling my daughter is 20 months an i can't get over the nightmare of a c-section.  I was sick my whole pregnancy, i couldn't stop throwing up. and she sat low the whole time it was even hard to walk.  i had diabetes during the pregnancy to.  and by the 9th month i was so swollen i couldn"t wear shoes at 37 weeks i begged to be induced i couldn't take it but she said it wasn't good for the baby.  Finally 3 days after my due date she induced me.  after thirteen hours of labor and 2 1/2 hours pushing she realized what i had know 2 days ago the baby had lifted her head. and i couldn't push her out an i started to bleed  so they rushed me in for an emergency c-section.  which i remember very little of her being born and i was shaking so bad after an so hot i couldn't really hold her.  needless to say we didn't really bond, an i was so depressed at not seeing her born, and had resentment to her for moving her head after months in the correct position. and the Dr for not inducing me when i wanted.  it has all left me bitter, i didn't breast feed her cause i kept get infections in the end it was easier formula feeding, but the horrible experience will never go away.  I have no one to help me when my husband is at work, I can't get the baby fat off either. An i have no interest in sex and don't even think about having another child for fear of another c-section.

Roadfamily6now
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2011 at 12:39 AM

HUGS MOMMAS~~

jspenny2705
by New Member on Mar. 5, 2011 at 5:50 PM

I know what you mean, hunny =[ I was very depressed after my c-section and I still get depressed when I think about the scar, or the dull ache I get on days with thunderstorns. But at least we have our beautiful children. That's what gets me through, it makes it all worth it. 

thyst
by on Feb. 17, 2012 at 12:04 AM

yes, It's tough to be Moms! In my case, I had 3 C-sections already.  and you know what, after two weeks I was sent back to the hospital for another operation. It was  my hemorrhoids! and after ten days of suffering from pain, i had to be operated again due to bleeding! It's good that i healed quite fast physically but emotionally? My gosh! having 3 operations in a month! that was terrible! i suffered from depression and my working environment was unfriendly! I decided to go back to work to divert my attention only to find out that It would worsen the scenario.  when I got back to work, my boss from hell did everything to make feel so bad! my boss was so insecure that I might overthrown her from her kingdom!  I broke down! but to make the long story short, i was transfered to a more friendly environment that I have time to heal physically,emotionally and spiritually. my current position is just the same as before with higher salary! my boss is also a mom but she is totally different...I wonder why failed moms want other people to fail as well.. but sorry to her.. i chose not to fail.

sdks
by New Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 2:17 PM

i didnt want this to happen to me as well. I was doing all sorts of exercises and doing all works at home dreaming of vaginal delivery. I was praying God this will make me proud of being born as a girl. But while they were inducing and trying for normal delivery, I was  not sure whether i would be able to push as i was not able to breath myself. They were telling me to breath well as babys heartbeat was getting low. But my God help me Im not able to breath. The oxygen supply was not enough.  So i accepted for an epidural. Then Iwas told there is less dilation and the babys heartbeat is low, so we have to go for cesarean. I was not able to accept it. The previous sleepless night and epidural was slowly inducing me to sleep. I didnt know what happened. After sometime when i woke up i was behaving like a  mad girl during the operation. everyone were trying to calm me down. Finally, They showed my Son.. for whom i was waiting.. I didnt bear any pain during his birth.. but anything in life i would sacrifice for him, for he is all that i have in this world. He is a gift from God and my loving Husband.

feralkitten
by Member on Apr. 12, 2012 at 3:30 PM

i have a lot people expect me to fell like you do . i get asked " don't you mind not having a real birth " i'm always surprised as how you give birth dose not make you a mum i raise my step kids because there mother who had normal birth with them never cared for them right and neglected them  . i have sections because i don't go into labour

my 1st son i was 2 weeks over due by time they said ok let section you by then i had  3 sweeps that failed and 2 inductions that failed.

they tried a vbac with my 2nd with sweeps but again it never worked so i had another section on his due date

but i am knocked out for my sections i go to sleep and wake up with my dh showing my my baby (needle phobic you see lol )

i hope you start felling better soon , maybe the could have a better birth plan knowing what problems you had   with your 1st so you can have a v-bac . 

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