My son is almost 10 months old and I do not think I will ever recover from the heartache and bitterness I feel about my C-section. I realized recently that this is a huge reason why I can't lose my "baby weight". I think I have posted about this before but I just need to know who else feels the way that I do. I feel like my doctors are to blame, because no one warned me that my baby might be big, I was too swollen to push, or any of those things. When my glucose test was high, they should have tested it. When the us tech told them my due date was 2 weeks earlier, they should have listened. When I gained 20 pounds of water in my 3rd trimester, they should have induced me at 37 weeks like the midwives tried to pull for for me. When I was put on bedrest, they should have warned me that I could have to have a c-section. I went through hell and 21 hours of labor and pushed for 3 hours only to be blind-sided by having to have a c-section. I am glad I had a healthy boy and we are both fine, but I find myself being angry at friends when they talk about their vaginal births. When I watch a baby story I cry and scream at the TV. I secretly eat a bunch of crappy food because I feel like I will never be able to get healthy, I don't want to have another baby because I'm horrified of having another c-section. I have zero tolerance for hearing anyone's stories about their pregnancies unless they went through anything that I went through. Does anybody else feel like this at all? I feel like I am all alone and like the hurt will just never go away. Has anyone been there and has anything helped? if so what?