No idea where to look for prospective date.....
I am 47, single mom living in a country trype atmosphere...real kicker here is I am on permanet Social Security Disablility so I can't meet anyone at work~! I keep myslef up very well, lots of pride in my apperance, but DO NOT want to do the bar scene. My disability stems from lower lumbar surgery which was a failure. I have tried online dating, only got hits from other states(~~~). I am truly ready to go on a real date, I have been divorced 3 years and have not been ready before. Marriage was very abusive so it took awhile to work thru all that. Any ideas? Thanks~!!!
Does this hat make me look Fat?
i have tried the online thing too and it seems that as soon as i find a guy im interested in and we email a few times, and i finally give out my phone number (cell only) i never hear from them again! this has happened about 10 or more times! its amazing. its like they dont really want to meet anyone or who knows, maybe theyre married!
it feels hopeless. but im happy otherwise. ive tried joining some other meetup groups too but the timing has never been right to actually make friends much less meet a potential date.
hopefully, someone will have some great ideas?
Yeah, I've had the same problem. I'm a caretaker and mom, so I don't go out much.
Be careful with the online stuff. If he's all into you after only 1 week of e-mails, and he professes his undying love to you, you'll likely get one of these in a few days:
My love,
Because I know that you're the one for me and you feel the same for me and that we're so in love, I feel safe in sharing this with you. I really need your help! My job has sent me to ______ and I misplaced my wallet/passport, .....Please send $$$$ to bail me out.
This may not be the actual verbage, but you get the idea. You'd be surprised how many supposedly "local" guys aren't local. There are way too many love scammers overseas, playing on women who fall for this. Because they're actually in other countries, the laws don't "get them" for this kind of stuff.
Don't get me wrong, there are some good dating sites out there. In fact, my brother met his terrific wife through one. He was extremely specific in what he was/wasn't looking for and it did take him years to sort through a ton of "bad apples" before he found her.
I dunno, that might be still an option for you. Don't give up.You might wanna join some online groups on some hobbies you have, that also have a chat option. A decent guy would prefer to chat with you on a common interest and get to know you for a while before talking about marriage/relationship issues.
If you do continue browsing the online dating sites, be sure to put on your profile that you ONLY want local guys. If you notice a profile that says that his location or internet/e-mail server cannot be verified, that's usually a clue that the guy is NOT where you think he is. Beware of any guys that say they have jobs that take them out of the country. Also, when a guy insists he's from Texas and he cannot get his verbs, nouns, and adjectives in the correct order, ditch the guy asap. Note- He's NOT from anywhere around here.
Oh! Another idea is to check local ads for singles' activities. I've been to some dances where many people just sit and mingle with each other (since you're disabled, dancing may be out for you, but who says you wouldn't be great company at the table?) and they actually hook up faster than the ones dancing. Around here (CA), there are also tv ads for something called, "Table for six". I've never done it, but it's supposed to be some group where you go out as a group and meet people. That'd be fun, because you'd have others to chat with, if you didn't click with a blind date. Less pressure and more safety in that. You might have something similar in your area ?.
Good luck!
Volunteer in your community. It doesnt have to be anything strenuous and you can easily find opportunities even in small towns. You will be able to meet lots of like minded people and give back to your community as well. If you just do one day a week, that is a chance you dont have right now of meeting someone. Hope this helps.
What about a ski and tennis club?
Online seems super sketchy to me (even before I was a mom)
I do know people who have had success with matchmakers/dating services ( they lived in cities though)
Volunteering is a great way to meet people. So is church.
The problem with online is that false intimacy is generated by email/skype and you have no idea who the person is really. (or how many other people they are emailiing) I f you get around to meeting someone you have been emailing for months, one might already be attached and ignore red flags or one's intuition.
Having said that , online really does work for some people. I don't want to hire a sitter or ask my mom to watch DD, if I have no idea if the person has any integrity or is a good person.
Seems to me that meeting through friends and activities is a better filter. (ie where and how you meet may weed out jerks)
my two cents.....
Moving
- tena453
on Jan. 30, 2011 at 4:10 PM