Life begins at 40.... single moms and all the sunshine and raindrops that go with it.
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Parenting is tough
posted to Children/Grandchildren/Parents
in Life begins at 40.... single moms and all the sunshine and raindrops that go with it.
on Aug. 21, 2009 at 9:58 AM
- 3 Replies
- 22 Total Views
Quoting growinglovemom:Just remember boundaries-he is responsible for his choices,actions,words. He is trouble!I had some drama this week-I had pushed my son Nick into sticking with soccer for the 10th year(first year into has,thought it'd be great for him,get him in with the close knit comraderie of a team,etc............he went to soccer camp,I got him the wardrobe of shorts/shirts to rotate for the intense training stuff,I signed up for the committees ,the carpool,worked crazily with my work schedule trying to match it up to be able to get to see as many games as possible,then he breaks it to me that thias is what I wanted for him,not what he has wanted,that I pushed him into this sport,that he doesn't like organized sports-just likes kickin a ball around for the fun of it but hates competition..............I had to let him quit because I HAD been pushing him to stick with it regardless of his desire to or not the past few years................guess I thought it'd be great for any kid in the long run,but my kid is starting to know what he wants and I have to celebrate him and his selfhood.............I cried trying to let go of all the plans and excitement and pride I was building.It was so neat to think I'd see him playing for his hs with the big guys-he talked to his coach and told him face to face.I know it's not about me.........that it's his life-as a parent ya try to steer them in good directions.................ultimately they will do what they want to do and we have to hope and pray it'll all work out really well. I am still so sad as I see all the boys he's been playing the sport with all these years push themselves and love it. Parenting isn't for weenies!!!!!It's tuff!!!
Try to look at this as a positive thing. Think about all the things he learned through his ten years of playing soccer. He learned team work and camaraderie, he learned about sticking things out, and most importantly he learned that he knows what he wants in life.
We all tend to push our kids. We love to see them succeed. But that is my point. Your son is a success!
In my daughter's situation, she complains because I didn't give her the opportunity to excel at soccer. She would have liked to join the bigger teams where she could have improved her skills, but we just didn't have the finances to pursue the bigger leagues. Someday she can join an adult league, but for now, I have to maze at how successful a lady she has become.
Parenting doesn't come with a guide book, and every child is different. You are doing a fine job. Give yourself credit.
Proud Mom of U.S. Soldier Girl Just Back from Iraq
'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
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- by on Aug. 22, 2009 at 2:50 AM
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The key is knowing when to quit.
You know, when my middle daughter was 3 I signed her up for a dance class. She hated it but I was determined. I drove 1/2 hour twice a week in rush hour traffic so that she could participate. Much of the time she would lay on her stomache and spin around.....LOL I resorted to buying her Beanie Babies in the toy store next to the dance studio @ $5 a pop as a bribe if she would listen to the teacher!! Yes, she has a LOT of Beanie Babies! My oldest daughter always enjoyed dance.......why didn't she?
Then I had an epiphany........if it's this much work for me, and she doesn't like it........give it up!
Last year I signed my youngest up for baseball. All boys play Little League, right? He hated it. Spent all of his time doing cart wheels and ridiculous hip hop moves in the outfield! It was our last year of baseball. I made him finish the season because it's important that we finish something we've committed ourselves to but after that we were done. We seem to do better with soccer!
So now we have the funny stories and I would hope that my kids appreciate that they were given different experiences. Some worked, some did not. But that's life!
Mother of Victoria......my very talented 21 year old NT college senior and Marissa........ my NT 15 year old angel ........thank God for her! ........and Marcus ........my 7 year old Aspie who makes every day an adventure!
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- by on Aug. 22, 2009 at 8:15 AM
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My youngest was a quitter, and he usually didn't give me a say in the matter.
In fifth grade he was supposed to be doing band, but quit that for a math class he wanted to do which was in the same time slot. He had told me he wanted to switch but didn't know til later that he had actually done it. It came back to bite us in the a** when he signed up for band in seventh grade and the teacher just assumed he could play because my other two did. Fortunately his band teacher was excellent and worked with him through many adventures that year, and he turned out to be excellent on the bongo drums, that after the bass clarinet they wanted him to play originally ended up in the shop for repairs. He only played the one year though and gave it up again.
He quit freshman soccer because they expected him to run a lot, and joined the army national guard at age 17 only to quit that before ever making boot camp. Surprisingly, he has stayed with college so I can't really complain. Think he only has a couple of semesters left to go there. As much as he hated school, this is wonderful news to me.
Proud Mom of U.S. Soldier Girl Just Back from Iraq
'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'
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- by on Aug. 23, 2009 at 5:44 PM
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I needed to go online and see your words and just calm my wheels-I worry more than I live sometimes!!!!! There's a lesson in everything,and time and kids are worth every bit of crap we go through-I'll be fine,he'll become what he's supposed to..................I really appreciate that you read my words and responded,you are always there when I need ya!Love you girls!Thanks
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