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What was the hardest part?

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2007 at 4:01 PM
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Since 2 of you have already been through the med/law school thing...reflecting back on it, what was the hardest part, and what would you do different?

by on Mar. 23, 2007 at 4:01 PM
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beaches
by Member on Mar. 24, 2007 at 4:47 PM
I would of certainly never would have had a baby while my hubby was in law school. It was my 3rd one but it was one more mouth to feed on a tight budget. The pregnancy was not planned but if you are thinking about actually planning on getting pregnant I would think twice. You are basically a single mom while your hubby is in school and for those of you who will have a hubby doing a residency I would think it would even be harder. Feel free to ask me any other questions.
jf42739
by on May. 1, 2007 at 12:41 PM
I have to disagree Beaches...
I had my first son during my husband's 3rd year of med school and we have just had our second son during my husband's intern year of residency (1st year residency).  Money wasn't a problem because they apparantly allow more borrowing freedom to med students (I have 2 law school graduate friends who have mentioned that they don't allow for such frivolous borrowing for law students)--For med students they will almost allow you to borrow the moon--they figure your starting salary will likely be over $200000, so why not?  They also make lots of interest money on you due to your deferments throughout residency.
One really nice thing about our med school program is that during Ed's 3rd year when Nicholas was born was that the school allowed him to either take off 1 week or take off an entire rotation (in my husband's case, he took off 6 weeks--his psychiatry rotation--and made it up the summer before 4th year.  Very nice!!!

You get used to him being extremely busy with call and responsibilities, but let's face it--a doctor's life doesn't get any less busy.  Residency is more busy, and being a new doctor is even busier. 
Unless you plan on being in your mid-forties before having kids, chances are there won't be a time that is "right" for your husband--and even at 40, a doctor is going to be extremely busy. 
heidi34
by on May. 4, 2007 at 11:25 AM

It is a challenge to have a kiddo with a husband in school, but we wouldn't change a thing.  If we waited until Steve's schedule wasn't so busy, we'd be waiting forever!   I've come to accept we'll probably never have a "normal" schedule, and I've adjusted to an unpredictable schedule.   I think if your husband is committed to spending time with his family, there's no reason to wait to have kids.

jf42739
by on May. 5, 2007 at 11:35 PM
I agree with you Heidi34...

Another thing that happened with us--once we had our son, my husband realized how important being able to spend time with the family really was--it made such an impression that he actually went from wanting to do surgery to wanting to do anesthesia (YES!!!)  Had we waited, he might have become a surgeon and discovered too late that he wouldn't have the time he wanted with his family.
Jilybean27
by Group Owner on May. 9, 2007 at 1:01 AM
Ya, my hubby wants to wait until he gets to med school and see how the first year is before we start trying for our 3rd.  My baby is almost 7 though so we are running out of time, and need to starting trying soon, LOL.  I have heard from a lot of moms that med school is the easy part......it is residency that is a pain and would be the worst time to have a baby.

Jill
jf42739
by on May. 9, 2007 at 3:11 PM
It also depends on what residency your husband goes into.   For my husband he had to make a decision--what is more important--his choice of job or his choice to have a job that makes it easier to have a family.  He really wanted to have a med job where he could do procedural work and thought he wanted to be a surgeon.  Then he had his surgery rotation soon after having our first son and decided it was too much--he sought out other specialties that would allow for procedures, but also allow for better hours--He chose anesthesia.  His first year of residency (supposedly the hardest) has really not been that bad--yes, he works lots of hours, but he is also home a lot too and can leave most work at work.  In school, you are always studying as well--hard to leave that at school...We just had our second son during first year of residency and it really hasn't been that bad.  I am lucky enough to have off from my teaching job until August, so most care falls on me, but when he is home (even if he has to get up early to go into work) he helps out (even at night).  He is figuring it out and just tells me when he cannot help and I adjust.
beaches
by Member on May. 10, 2007 at 1:58 PM
Maybe for us it was harder because of limited borrowing power for the student loans and also because it was child #3. From what I can tell we are the only ones with that many kids while he was in school. I didn't work because by the time we would have to pay for daycare it wasn't worth it. Daycare expenses for three children was EXPENSIVE!! I did do some babysitting for friends and made a little bit that way. Obviously everyones situation is different so I just wanted to share my experience. I LOVE THIS GROUP!!!!
heidi34
by on May. 11, 2007 at 12:34 PM
WOW!  Three would be hard!!!!  I just have one little guy, and think adding two more right now would be really tough!  It is so nice to be able to take out a lot of loans during school.  I can't imagine what we'd do without them!
jf42739
by on Jun. 30, 2007 at 12:22 AM
I hear you with the daycare, beaches!  My 2 boys will be in daycare starting in August and between that, groceries and gas, my entire paycheck is gone!  I also understand what you mean about student loans (or lack of much money)--if it weren't for the student loans and private loans, we probably would have held off for a bit.  I can see how it would be hard with 3--I am still adjusting to 2 boys myself.
texasgirl33
by New Member on Jun. 30, 2007 at 9:37 PM
i think the hardest part is being the stable one....the one who took care of all the bills, and housekeeping and social stuff and everything cause he was usually to busy studying or playing poker(heehe)

i was hard to find a new job...i gave up 6 years of clientele and didn't have time to make it back before my first was born...i really miss some of my clients.  and now we have moved again...i think i now have given up on making that kind of money again, and hope to just make enough to pay for groceries and such! 

other than that, it wasn't to bad....but i cannot wait until it is truly over and we have a "normal" life

cheers!
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