After not talking to them he wants what????

[luvourboys]

My ex gets on myspace tonight and asks me what the kids want for Christmas and if he can have them  Christmas day.  Okay so I am fine with him getting them a present but since Apr 16th, 2009 he has seen them twice, and he wants them for Christmas????  I seriously think he has lost his mind.  He cant even call them or anything.  They saw him the weekend after Apr 16 and then again in Oct and nothing since.  Do I let them go???  Th eother problem is that the boys want to go to gramma's house for Christmas but they dont want to see him.  How do I tell him this???

[jeckellette]

Just be honest with him about it. Also, in my opinion...if he can't be there for them during the rest of the year, he has no right to get them on Christmas. Especially if you already have other plans. I would tell him that maybe next year, if he can prove that he deserves it.

I'm lucky, I don't have to deal with things like this, as my daughter's sperm donor is in prison, and even if he wasn't...he wouldn't bother..the only time he's ever contacted me regarding my baby girl, is when he is locked up. When he is out, he doesn't even make an effort. But that's beside the point. Sorry for my little rant type thing.

Good luck with your situation. I hope it works out the way you want it to. I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!

[shellie95678]

Is there a court order in place? Does he have joint custody? If not then just explain that you feel that him being absent for 8 months is unacceptable and not fair to your kids. Explain that the children told you that they dont want to see him. If he wants to petition the court for visitation then you are more than willing to work something out in mediation or to let a judge decide but tell him you feel that just handing them over to  him after 8 months is not in your kids best interest emotionally. If he wants to work out a permant visitation schedule then you will be more than happy to work that out inn court. Tell him that you feel that if he wants to be in their lives then he needs to BE IN THEIR LIVES CONSISTANTLY! Not in and out. That will only hurt them i the long run. Does he want to do that?? Probably not. Be sure to tell him this in a nice tone and 1 of two things will happen; 1) He actually steps up and comes around consistantly. or 2) He says 'screw this" and he runs for the hills. And from what i have seen first hand....he will most likely run for the hills. If he has only seen them twice this year, chances are he doesnt really give a crap.

**My husband works in family law court.  We see this ALL THE TIME.