Am I wrong to want him to give up his rights??

[mama24]

My ex is a sometimes dad. Sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes he keeps his promises sometimes he doesn't . My son Hayden who is 9 still believes in his dad so much. My daughter Felicity who is 10, tells me her stepdad feels more like a dad to her. My 5 yr. old thinks her stepdad is her real dad. they are all so confused. They cry over their dad often, mostly because they were hurt or forgotten. Is it wrong that I think it would be better if he just dissapeared???

[ilovegarfield]

You are not wrong for feeling that way. By them only being in their lives when they feel like it makes it worse on the kids than if they just stayed away all together. It makes the kids confused, and makes them feel as if his not being around for a 'while' is their fault. If they would just stay away, it would hurt the kids in the beginning, but you could give them to tools to know and understand that it isn't their fault. Some 'fathers' just don't know how to be a 'dad'. That's what my daughter sees, and it helps! She sees that her father isn't around and not even trying to contact her, and she sees that her step dad is there for his kids.

(((HUGS))) to you and yours for having to deal with it all!! Just know you are not alone!!!!

[jodik]

I dont think its wrong that you feel that way. I feel that way too. I think that the "I'm a dad when its convienient for me" crap is selfish and immature. In my opinion my son would be better off if I had never put his "dad's" name on the birth certificate and he never knew that he existed! That may sound harsh, but if you have a deadbeat ex you understand that everytime you have to explain why daddy didnt come to the ballgame, it kills something else inside of you. Soon you dont have anything left but hatred!

[mommyofcam]

I completely understand and do NOT think you are wrong for it!!! I want the same thing. Even though my sons father is not on the birth certificate I still have heard that he would have to give up rights. I just have a lot of research left to do!!! Just know your not alone!

[mommymonkey]

No way are you wrong for feeling that way.
It's too hard to always pick up the pieces when fathers like that dissappoint, confuse and hurt the children. (Though as a mom, you'll do it every time you can to keep them from hurting more. )
I'm glad that there is love and stability on at least one end of it.

[GotTwins206]

I wish that my children's father would give up his rights, he only see our twins twice a month, and does nothing to financially support them.  I rather them have no father than a half-ass one, at least they won't know what they are missing.

[AUNT_LELLY]

As you can tell by the previous posts, you are not wrong in feeling that way.   I personally wish my ex would give up his rights also and let my current husband adopt our daughter, but for some reason he wont.  He does not pay child support UNLESS they find him and take it out of his check.  Then when he THINKS they have taken enough out, he quits his job and gets another one. LOL  I just dont understand WHY he does not give up his rights, then he would NOT have to worry about money coming out of his checks. RIGHT????  We have been divorced about 5 years and of those 5 years the SOB has seen her about 2 times....She has not seen him in 3 years. So why does he want to keep his rights???  But no, you are not wrong in wanting his rights terminated.  Aunt Lelly

[taralyn2006]

I know how you feel. My son is 13 months and calls my bf dada jay and hides from his real father. My ex only calls when he needs some and thinks I'm going to be the one to give it to him.

[momof3boy010406]

I know exactly how you all feel.  Those thoughts have gone through my head so many times. It would be easier on all of us in the party if he would give up his rights.  My son is 5 and has been with my husband and i since he was 12 months.  He calls my hubby dad and has from the start on his own.  His bio-dad over the past 5 years has come and gone whenever convienent for him.  He is married (when my son was 6 months)  and they have a child of their own.  I have dealt with so much time and aggravation from him and his wife over the past 5 years that ,enough is enough.  all of a sudden he wants 50/50.  No way in heck willl i agree to that ever.  You want to lack being a father for  5 years and then come back and make my life like that, no way!  he is inconsiterate and selfish in every way.  From the day he found out i was pregnant to to just recently he chooses his wife and child over my son.  and that bugs me really bad.  I would just love to go and live my life with my husband and my three beautiful boys without stressful situtations.  My husband is more than willing to adopt the 5 year old and wouldn't love anything more to do it. 

[hiddenpoet]

i've been looking into the laws out here in Nevada about that. he isnt on the birth certificate, my daughter has my last name, no contact in seven or eight years no child support..
but is this even an issue anymore for me? i'd just like things to be legally clean with no loose ends at all.

[Jenicasmommy]

I know exactly how you feel. My ex won't legally give up his rights but per an agreement between the two of us he has. I wish sometimes that when he disappears for months that he would just stay gone.