The in laws

[mama24]

I have a question for all of you? How many of the in laws..or the donors families are involved with your children? My ex has 2 siters and they never call. If by chance he has the kids,on eof his sisters will visit. His mom calls from time to time but she has in the past left nasty messages on my machine accusing me of keeping the kids from her and not allowing her to see them, which is totally bogus. She will send them cards for their birthdays and stuff but thats about it. I am afraid that their dad got his selfishness and selfcentredness from his mother.

[jodik]

Ok,I feel you there, on both sides. My ex mother in law is totally phyco! She doesnt call me, nor do I want her to. She tells my son that she is his "real mommy" because they "have the same last name" One time I had to go as far as to show my 4 year old pictures of me when Iwas prego w/ him and pics of myself having him so that he would believe that I am his real mommy. My ex, or his mother actually, had my son on his last birthday. My hubby and I called to tell him happy birthday, we were very nice. I said "Hi, it's Jodi, is Traeh there I want to tell him happy birthday" She said (very sarcastically) "yeah, hang on" she said "Traeh! Jodi is on the phone." He said "Hi Jodi" I broke into tears. "Hi, baby, it's mommy" he said "Hi mommy!" in the background I heard her say "it's Jodi, not mommy" He said "Hi Jodi" I said "it's mommy baby!" and back to "it's Jodi" that went on for a while and finally I said happy birthday to my precious boy.
My mother in law on the other hand wont leave my house!!! She walks in says hi to my daughter (her granddaughter) and completly ignores my son because he is not biologically my hubby's. Suprised!? I'm not. I have a niece that is not biologically my bro-in-laws (I get along w/ him and his wife great) that she treats the same way. They have been married for like 11 years!! I asked my sis-in-law if it ever gets better and she said no. I have a lot to look forward to. (sigh)
You are not alone!!

[mama24]

Quoting jodik:

Ok,I feel you there, on both sides. My ex mother in law is totally phyco! She doesnt call me, nor do I want her to. She tells my son that she is his "real mommy" because they "have the same last name" One time I had to go as far as to show my 4 year old pictures of me when Iwas prego w/ him and pics of myself having him so that he would believe that I am his real mommy. My ex, or his mother actually, had my son on his last birthday. My hubby and I called to tell him happy birthday, we were very nice. I said "Hi, it's Jodi, is Traeh there I want to tell him happy birthday" She said (very sarcastically) "yeah, hang on" she said "Traeh! Jodi is on the phone." He said "Hi Jodi" I broke into tears. "Hi, baby, it's mommy" he said "Hi mommy!" in the background I heard her say "it's Jodi, not mommy" He said "Hi Jodi" I said "it's mommy baby!" and back to "it's Jodi" that went on for a while and finally I said happy birthday to my precious boy.
My mother in law on the other hand wont leave my house!!! She walks in says hi to my daughter (her granddaughter) and completly ignores my son because he is not biologically my hubby's. Suprised!? I'm not. I have a niece that is not biologically my bro-in-laws (I get along w/ him and his wife great) that she treats the same way. They have been married for like 11 years!! I asked my sis-in-law if it ever gets better and she said no. I have a lot to look forward to. (sigh)
You are not alone!!

oh my!!! Nice. I wish my ex mother in law did not call, she is phsyco too, but not to the extent of yours. Your poor little guy. It sucks for him that your m.i.l doesn't seem to notice him, thats terrible!! I feel for you, hugs

[jodik]

Yeah, I know. I feel bad for my son. Thanks for the hugs!! I'm fine. 3 years and I'm used to it. I have told my hubby that it bothered me and I know it bothers my son. He has talked to her, but nothing! I'm just glad that he is so loved by me, my hubby, his sis,and all his aunts and uncles and grandparents on my side. My hubbys brothers and sisters love him to death, its just her, shes a b#$@h!!!!

[Poetmom]

I have two former husbands. The parents of former husband #1 have no contact with our daughter and have not in four years. Our son lives with his grandfather right now, so he has daily contact. Not sure how often he sees/talks to his grandmother and stepgrandfather.

Former husband number two: his father is deceased, but his mother still stays in contact with our daughter some of the time. She is elderly, has been ill, and lives 150 miles from us, so we don't expect a lot from her, you know? She remembers birthdays and holidays, and Amy talks to her on the phone when she is with her father.

[jeannebean]

I read this and could not not reply to this post...OMG Jodi...I would want to "whack"  both of the MIL's in the head!! But primarily the ex MIL..Psycho is being nice to her...She should be reported to Child Services...that's absoutely absurd to play mind games with a child that small...and the fact that he questioned his own identity...that would have pushed me wayy over the edge...I would think if you reported this type of inappropriate behavior, her "visitation" would be ended, enough said...no Judge, that I know of, would allow any Grandmother to tell her grandchild that "she was his mommy" and go as far as she has!!  I experienced what you are now, with your inlaws...I have two boys, each with a different Dad, but both of the Inlaws, for the most part, just ignore the other child...it can get to be a bit disconcerting...to say the least...but I guess their generation just believes that unless their blood "runs thru their veins" there is no need to recognize their brother...sad...if they only realized how much they are missing out on...OH well..

Thanks for letting me vent...
take care all!!
Jeanne

[Tysmom3901]

My ex's family sat there and pronounced to everyone how much they "loved and missed" my 5 year old when we broke up almost 5 years ago (he's almost 6 now).  But yet no one bothered to get ahold of me to ask if they could see him or anything, they all acted like I was supposed to be calling them and leaving news updates with them regarding my son, which is ridiculous.  Right now I'm starting the process for my fiancee to officially adopt my 5 year old, he's the only father my son has ever known.  I got an e-mail from my lovely ex a few weeks ago (after 3 years with NO contact whatsoever) all of a sudden telling me that he's changed, he just got out of jail, and he wants to be the Dad he can and will be (over my dead body).  It just pissed me off so bad that he never gave a crap before and now all of a sudden he sends me this e-mail like I'm just going to let him mess my son up emotionally and leave him again, I don't think so.

[Kelli_and_Riley]

I had a good relationship with my ex's family until recently. He and I ended our relationship when I was 7 months pregnant, but his mother stayed in touch. She sent several really nice shower gifts and she flew here the day after I had the baby. During Christmas I spent an extra $150 to have a 3 day layover in Houston so their family could spend time with my daughter, who was 5 weeks old. The problems began when I received an email from her a week later while I was with my family for the holidays. Her son came home and they went to a private medical lab and took a DNA test and wanted me to take my daughter to get one. I was irate that she would put that on me while I was trying to enjoy my daughter's first Christmas - who wants to look back on their baby's first Christmas and think "DNA test." Aside from that, her son had been told we would do a DNA test through the DA's office in San Diego county, where we all live. So, I've told her I will never go out of my way again to accomodate their visits with my daughter. Why should I be expected to spend $150 when her son doesn't pay any support? I also don't share any information or pictures with her because I know she would send them to my ex, and he doesn't need them since he's running around saying my daughter isn't his child. When all this immaturity ends, I'll consider establishing a relationship where she can visit my daughter at her own expense.

[hiddenpoet]

my daughter's bio father's parents don't keep any contact. the classic alcoholic military family that fell apart after a discharge. there was one phone call i recieved a few years ago from his mother, i was shocked she still had my phone number. she was crying and going on about how my kid's "daddy" was going over to iraq. i told her he wasn't my child's daddy, he was a big nothing in her life and always had been. at this point i realized she was drunk, high or possibly both because she started going on about how she calls all the time but i'm never there, he could die over there and my daughter never knew him.. as though it was my fault! i said goodbye and hung up and havent heard since. not only is he a cook in the army thanks to a family line of military service, but he joined to abandon my daughter and me. so whats it to us if he dies over there? he's untrackable and nonexistant to us now anyway.who knows if he is still even over there.
i just couldn't believe that she would take such a stupid attitude about  her son's negligence.

[pkendall]

I'm lucky......... in-laws passed away a few years before I booted his butt out. I tried to keep the rest of his family up to date with the kids... invited them to confirmation, birthdays, etc..... I never had an issue with them. They chose not to come or ever call. I figure its their loss. My kids get tons of love from my side of the family........ I have a HUGE family and my ex was jealous of it anyway.......lol!!!!!!!!

[bluelover85]

I actually have no problem with the ex's family. I still talk to them quite regularly. Amazingly enough they actually agree that their son is a dead beat dad and I should take him for all that he's worth.