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what do I do

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:08 AM
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I was a single parent for a while I met my current husband when my son was 18 months old for 6 years there has been nothing but blaming how I left what happened we both know the truth he cheated I left so we are here.

in 2003 I married a great man who is a great step dad and father we know have three children.

This year deadbeat dad wants to have my son  come to jamaica for months we said no and then at age 6 we decided to let him go

for two weeks the real father spent time telling my son he only has one dad.
I called him out on that.
after the 2week visit we heard nothing from in that was in march now it is July he wants me to send him again to Jamaica and wants to talk about my son going to school there.

He has never assisted us financially and never tries too when he can he is a video producer so he has means.
I have never tried to sue him child support and I do ask for him to send clothes and stuff.
His remarks are he doesn't want to be a wallet to his son.

He tells me I took his child away from him after 6 years that song is old and I am ready to have  relationship with him that is civil.
My current husband is so upset with this because he hates to see me arguing and upset.

I don't think he should go to Jamaica right now he has not been in her communicating with his son since the last trip now he wants to start this cycle again.
I think this will affect my son after he asks me why he cant go.
We had not heard from dad so I told him don't worry.
Now the really dad still will not even consider assisting his son financially.

What do I do now.
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:08 AM
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by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:40 AM
don't let him take your child, 1st he does not help with him financially, and when he does have him alls he does is undermine your husband. I would tell the dad no way, until he is ready to have a civil relationship with you and your husband and stops telling your son he only has one father, and until he starts being a more stable dependable consistant dad to his son hes not taking him. If your son asks why say "I just don't think it is a good idea right now, maybe next time you can go"
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:48 AM

Personally I wouldn't send my kid....even though he is the blood father I wouldn't...Like you said he doesn't help to take care of the kid and he doesn't stay in communiation with the kid.....If I were you I would go after him from child support...I love how guys think oh you have my kid you can take care of the kid and I just pop in once in a while and be like I want to see my kid......NOOOO it doesn't work like that......I just don't get them...sorrie your going though with this with the father....I'm kinda in the same boat with my daughter's father....

by New Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 7:38 PM
thank for the support
by Member on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:33 PM

It sounds like your ex is not thinking about his son .He probably felt bad for not being in his life so he sent for him. You called him on something that made him upset and he cut his son off.He is over it now so now he is ready to be a dad again. When he asks maybe tell him you can't come in and out of his life when he is ready.
   your son probably thinks he did something wrong and that is why he stopped calling.He is just to young to understand theese stupid games his father plays.
    Maybe when he is older and can some what understand and his dad is a regular in his life then MAYBE your son can go.
    Maybe dad could come to visit him see his school ect.ect. that should go both ways. I realy don't know why theese guys play this crap. If anybody figures it out I hope they right a book.
by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:41 PM

There is no way  in hell I would let him go!!! To many bad things could happen. From  him not sending him back to the emotional turmoil your son will go thru. I would tell him that if he wants to be a father he can start by supporting him. When you are a parent there are times when all you are is a wallet. If he wants to be a part he needs to show intrest more than every 6 years. For your son's sake keep him home

Raven Rose

Blessed Be

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by on Jul. 25, 2007 at 8:50 PM

I wouldn't let him go either. Not only not sending him back but he could go behind your back and file custody papers there in Jamica and you would ne for lack of a better word screwed!!!!
I would go to court here and get custody established as well as child support. If he doesn't want to play by those rules then he doesn't get to see him at all and it won't be "your" fault in your sons eyes

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