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**UPDATED** Well, I am out for good and leaving the group :(

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:14 AM
  • 25 Replies

 I got so excited today! Got our first IUI scheduled for March 31st. DH has a vasectomy, but he has a few swimmers **EDIT** We did do a reversal and it failed.

 But we were going to do IUI with a donor to increase our chances of getting the baby we wanted. Well I thought we wanted. Apparently, I was the only one who really wants this heart and soul. DH is working graveyard tonight and shoots me a message after I told him I just recieved an email from our donor. Here is the text.

"I can't think baby. I feel like sh*t and my head is throbbing. I am depressed. This is not what I want. I will have to get another job. And the baby wouldn't even be mine."


I told him to go to hell and I will see him in the morning.  He is so far in the dog house he doesn't even know. Why let me get my hopes up? Why do this to me than crush it all in one single stupid freaking text message!


Update: He brought it up yesterday afternoon and I tried to change the subject. I was still a little hurt. If he had told me in person it probably wouldn't have hurt so bad. But it was a text message. So after he pushed the issue I explained that to him. So he asked me if it was still to late to try for that cycle. I said no. So we will be trying it for one cycle. If it is unsuccessful than we will wait until next year and attempt the reversal again. If that fails than no baby at all. Part of me is hoping that I do get pregnant with my March cycle, and part of me feels bad for wanting that. I am so confused right now!

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:14 AM
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:23 AM

 And I am leaving the group, because it is so hard to watch everyone get BFP's knowing I will never have that again. After I get through my initial depression phase I will come back and be supportive. but for now, it is best I just steer clear of here for awhile.


Good luck ladies! I hope this is the month for all of you.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:28 AM
I'm soo sorry Hun!
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:30 AM

I am so sorry, hugs

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:07 AM
Sorry. My husband pulled something like that on. 4 weeks before our Wed. Invites already out...he tells me he doesn't want children with me. We broke up. I was devastated. We got back together five months later. Turns out he had cold feet and knew if he told me that I would leave. Punk.still feel like smacking him for that. But its been five years and he is the one who brought it up and wants a baby now. Maybe ur DH will change his mind. But either way...I'm sorry for the pain u are feeling.
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by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:13 AM

im so sorry hun.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:15 AM

I understand not wanting to see the BFPs I am like that too but I can understand why your Husband doesn't want you and another man to make a baby for him to have to raise. Think of it if the table was would you feel if he had a baby with another women and you were supposed to raise it! That is a tough situation and I think you sound selfish!

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 8:21 AM

I'm so sorry.

im sorry

by Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:13 AM

im sorryhugs

by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:15 AM


I am sorry you are going through this.  Its gotta be hard for him to think about using a donor sperm, because he's right.  The baby wouldn't technically be his.  Perhaps he's not ready to "jump" into that yet, which is understandable.  It also sounds like he wasn't feeling well, which probably blew his feelings out of proportion too.  I know its hard to take, when one of you wants to jump right in and the other doesn't.  We are kind of going through this now.  I want to be over with all of these infertility treatments.  I have been on infertliliy meds for MONTHS and BFN's :/.  I told my husband I would rather just do IVF and get it over with.  With 60% chance, I like those odds.  Going through this month after month is just draining.  He got all hissy and said "well, first we can't afford that and second, I don't think we should jump to that just yet".  It was quite an argument.

Just talk it over with your husband.  I know its a "bandaid rip" that he did to you, but just give a long good talk to with your husband.  Perhaps he just wants the baby to be truly his.  

Good luck honey!!

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 9:18 AM

I'm sorry :-( Maybe this was hard on DH b/c of having to use the donor sperm? TTC is hard on men and women so it can take a toll on the relationship some days. I'm very sorry I hope you two can come to a solution you both are happy with.

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