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Waving my white flag! *long* But please read! **UPDATE in purple**

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:54 PM
  • 67 Replies

...Because I give! I did a LOT of thinking today and came to a conclusion which I discussed with DH. If I am not preggers this cycle, then I am taking off of TTC for a little while...for REAL this time. NO temping, NO charting, NO planned BDing (we won't even refer to it as "BDing"...we'll call it what it used to be...making love, having sex, Dirty F***ing...anything BUT baby making). I need to get myself back in order! And the only way to do that is take the pressure off of my mind! All I think about is making a baby! I don't have fun BDing because I am stuck thinking "I sure hope we are making a baby". Sex has become a chore and seems to only happen around ovulation. I also used to never get upset when I heard other people were pregnant. I would be happy and move on. But since I have been trying I get upset and bitter and I don't like that! I also wanna sleep past 6:30am without having to be interrupted by an alarm and a thermometer! And if I happen to wake up in the middle of the night, I don't wanna have to be upset with myself because "it could mess up my reading at 6:30". I also don't wanna put myself through agony holding my pee all night! I wanna go to the bathroom as I please! I'm just tired, and frustrated, and don't wanna do it anymore! It was so simple the first 2 times...why is it so hard now? I'm gonna take this time to clear my head, let go, and relax! I'm also gonna take this time to focus on ME and MY BODY. It's the last time it will be completely mine before another being occupies it and needs it to sustain life.

So here is my plan:

I'm gonna take it easy and relax on this TTC stuff until I lose 20lbs. AT LEAST! In the time it takes to do that I promise myself to relax, to enjoy my free nights out with my friends, to say 'yes' to all functions regardless of whether I am ovulating or not (because I won't know), to bring the 'fun' back into the bedroom and genuinely make love to my husband...and if I don't wanna have sex, then I WON'T, to have a few drinks when I want, to sleep late, to sleep with the covers off and the fan on if I want regardless of what it might do to my body temp (because I won't know), to go to the bathroom when I want, to drink as much water as I want and not hold it, to let go of pain that I have been harboring and to finally feel like I'm living again, because what I have been putting myself through...it ain't living!!!  

Hopefully this plan will not only better me as a person, but better me as a future mom...someway, somehow. If I find out that I am pregnant on March 31st, then I guess that is what is meant to be, but just incase...I DO have a plan...and it ISN'T to keep putting myself through this emotional ringer. You ladies that are sticking through it...you are much stronger than I. I'm not saying I won't ever try again...I just won't try again until I lose some weight and find my happiness again, because TTC has sucked the life out of me. NO WONDER I can't create a life when I don't have any life left in me. Good luck to you all and LOTS and LOTS of baby dust! I will still be around to help out where I can and keep up with you ladies...I just won't be TTC for a little while. Wish me luck: Either with my testing on March 31st, or with my new plan. Either way, my life is about to change!!! If you made it to the end, thanks for reading!

 

**UPDATE**

Well, this morning I got a huge temp dip, followed by a BFN, followed by AF around 2pm. It's safe to say that I am officially done with my TTC efforts for a while. Good luck to the rest that are still trying. 

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MommyIvy
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:58 PM

Hope to see you around later. I think that is a good plan. We tried for 20 months before getting our + this month. It took Prover, Chlomid, and Metformin. It also helped that I was away for a week and when I got home, it happened to be O time. We actually had love making and not just BD'ing. Good luck to you!


PinkDaisey13
by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:00 AM

 Thanks hun. And thanks for sharing. I will still be around the forum and chatting with everyone. I just won't be actively TTC. If I don't get it in a few days, I seriously wanna change my body and get back to being relaxed and happy. I want a baby, I just don't wanna go crazy trying

Quoting MommyIvy:

Hope to see you around later. I think that is a good plan. We tried for 20 months before getting our + this month. It took Prover, Chlomid, and Metformin. It also helped that I was away for a week and when I got home, it happened to be O time. We actually had love making and not just BD'ing. Good luck to you!

 

dedawatson
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:02 AM

Taking time for yourself is the best hting you can do. For you, for you children (present and future) and for everyone involved in your life. Good luck love and once you feel the love and the happiness again you may find its all that has been missing from the baby equation. Either way, Congradulation, on your bean or your journey for yourself again.

BrandyLong87
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:04 AM
Good for you! I'm sorry ttc has taken such control over you. It should be a fun and effortless event. I wish the best for you whichever way the road takes you!
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RedheadMama18
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:04 AM
Wow that sounds like how I have been feeling lately! 14 months later and I think I'm to the end of my journey as well only I will probably be leaving this group. Good luck and hugs!
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ttcbabylovepred
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:05 AM

You go girl! sometimes us woman take too much time away from ourselves through all this ttc stuff. Do waht you feel is in your heart and best for you and hopefully in the end you will get a beatiful bfp from it!

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MommyIvy
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:32 AM
I also cut down sugar, pop, and tried to cut down startches. My blood sugar was a little high. In a few weeks I lost 10lbs


Quoting PinkDaisey13:

 Thanks hun. And thanks for sharing. I will still be around the forum and chatting with everyone. I just won't be actively TTC. If I don't get it in a few days, I seriously wanna change my body and get back to being relaxed and happy. I want a baby, I just don't wanna go crazy trying


Quoting MommyIvy:


Hope to see you around later. I think that is a good plan. We tried for 20 months before getting our + this month. It took Prover, Chlomid, and Metformin. It also helped that I was away for a week and when I got home, it happened to be O time. We actually had love making and not just BD'ing. Good luck to you!


 


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crzemom
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:32 AM

i love ur plan thats the best way to make a baby plan to unplan =)

HopefulMommy89
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:34 AM
Thank you for all the encouragement you've given to all of us! I'm glad you're taking some time for you! You deserve it! Please take good care of you and please stop by to let us know how you're doing! Xoxo
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PinkDaisey13
by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:44 AM

 Thanks SO much for all of the support ladies! Like I said, I will be around...I just won't be TTC until I drop those pounds and find some inner peace.

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