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Adoption - a Co-Workers Story

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 6:38 AM
  • 7 Replies

I am traveling with work, and last night our conversation turned to infertility. It was very odd, because the person sharing the story is a male coworker. I was totally surprised, but so grateful!

This person has an adopted son. I always thought his son was "his wives," and last night I learned that he is actually adopted. They had tried for years to have a child together. Neither one of them has any children, and all their tests were just fine. Their "regular" methods of trying just never worked. They tried everything (like us ladies here). Finally they went the IVF route. Money was not an issue for them, and brace yourself.......they dumped more than $100,000 into IVF. 6 miscarriages (one at 3 months) and at one point his wife had 12 (yes, 12) fertilized eggs in her!! None of them took.

One day, they were both fed up. He was tired of injecting his wife with hormones etc that had (in his words) 6" long needles and his wife was tired of the mood swings and side effects. Broken hearted, they decided not to continue treatments.

My coworker was open to adoption, but was hesitant. They opted for "open-adoption" so that they could chose the family they were adopting from, and the birth parents were able to choose them. Miracle of miracles, not 3 weeks after they decided to submit "their story" to both parents, they were chosen! It was a young couple that was not married, and not able to take care of a child. LONG story short, a process that usually takes upwards of 6 months to a year happened in a matter of weeks.

Their son is now 15 years old, and his his words, he is a stud ;-). They raised him from birth, he cut his umbelical cord, they fed him bottles, and they have never been happier.

DH and I each have a child from a previous relationship, but both boys are "ours," not "mine" and "his." The main reason we are trying so hard is because not only do we want our family to grow, but we want to have a child that is "from us." After hearing my co-workers story though, raising a child from infancy would be "from us" because we would be the only people to influence that child's life. I am not arguing nature vs. nurture, but looking at the big picture, that child would still be "ours."

His story was SO amazing to me, so I wanted to share with you ladies :-)

by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 6:38 AM
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Replies (1-7):
by Silver Member on Apr. 15, 2011 at 7:34 AM
All my babies are adopted
by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 7:43 AM
Awww this story made me cry!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 9:22 AM
Thank you for sharing. my husband and I are in the process of competing a home study and taking classes to become foster to adopt parents. We are very excited about or future with our foster and adoptive kids. Everything should be done by early july and we will be able to take or first placement then.

Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers

by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 9:24 AM

Thank you for sharing.

by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 9:58 AM

Thanks for sharing :-)

I'm adopted, not from birth though. We're considerign adoption whether we conceive again for not but I feel like I'd really want to do a newborn adoption. That is a MIRACLE they got chosen in just 3 weeks. The wait is often over a year! How awesome!

by on Apr. 15, 2011 at 10:26 AM

 That is a great story!

by Ruby Member on Apr. 15, 2011 at 10:38 AM

Wow, what a story!  I am so glad it turned out so happy for them.  I cannot believe all they went through though, but I know the feeling of failed infertility treatments, throwing a tenth of that amount of money away.  We have had so many scares of losing this bean, that I have made the decision that if we have to continue our journey at some point, adoption will be my plan.  Unfortunately, money was an issue for us, and its causing many strains on our relationship that we didn't anticipate.

Thank you so much for sharing this story.  I can share this with my husband and I hope that he understands how I feel about it.  I don't mind adopting a baby at all, I just want a sibling for my lovely son Caden.  We are lucky because Caden is "ours" but a miracle nonetheless.

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