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Ladies, Ive got a tough one for ya!

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:02 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hi ladies, Long time no chat, ive been away changing my life and getting ready for the next chapter, while doing so ive come across a few tough to answer questions and thought of all of the ladies here at cafemom. You guys always have some sort advice on pretty much everything :-) Heres the summary of it all. (hold on tight lol)

My SO and i have finally found a donor, and are currently trying to figure out the legal situation after the baby is born, Id like my SO to have full legal rights to our child just as i would as the biological mother. We live in north carolina and have done a bit of research on "second parent adoption" and it states that it is "unclear" as if its legal or not in this state due to lack of petition for it in this state. My question to you wonderful ladies is, Do any of you know anything about our options and if theres any way for me to keep my rights while still allowing her rights as well?.. some of the reason behind her needing rights is because she gets benefits via the state and we would like the child to as well, not to mention the fact that id like her to feel just as much as a legal parent as i would myself, Which im sure you all could understand. i do greatly appreciate any advice, tips or otherwise any of you have, and thank you in advance 

 As well as a BIG congrats to all the BFPs recently! :-) 

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:02 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Devious103102
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:38 PM

No clue sweetie but lots of luck and here's a BUMP for ya! Hope someone can help you out!

Justpryin4one
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:39 PM

Awe thank you so much, i appreciate it, we actually just found a few different options, thank goodness we finally have some answers but i appreciate the willingness to help :-) 

Devious103102
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:42 PM

Glad you found something!  What part of NC are you in? My inlaws are in Charlotte/Concord and we LOVE it there! That's where we had initially planned to retire when he gets out but we've fallen so deeply inlove with CO we may just retire here, LOL!

shawnv4l
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:46 PM

my sister had the same problem so she moved to california for 2years and after they went back to NC

Justpryin4one
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 8:57 PM

We luclkily there is a legal way to get around the seond parent adoption if its denied and has just as much legal right to it as second parent adoption. and we live in the charlotte/concord area, its a pretty great area, but my SO lives more in the country and we love it there... we will probably be more out in the country than in charlotte lol ! 

GwenMB
by Gwen on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:21 PM

I'd find a lawyer that specializes in this.  Maybe an adoption lawyer?  Not sure if all of them would know how to help you in your specific situation, but they could point you in the right direction anyway.

Good luck!

Devious103102
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:37 PM

Not far from my inlaws then! Yeah if we were too go there we'd deff be more in the country than the city, but it's beautiful there!

Glad you guys figured things out, here's hoping it goes wonderfully!

Quoting Justpryin4one:

We luclkily there is a legal way to get around the seond parent adoption if its denied and has just as much legal right to it as second parent adoption. and we live in the charlotte/concord area, its a pretty great area, but my SO lives more in the country and we love it there... we will probably be more out in the country than in charlotte lol ! 


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Justpryin4one
by on Jul. 9, 2011 at 4:57 PM

Thanks so much, we will be doing our first at home insemination in about two weeks... we are so very excited to get our journey started !!! 

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