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omg my mind is everywhere its such a hard desission to make ...

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:41 AM
  • 32 Replies

well as some of you know im getting married (it will be after next may since im waiting on my divorce from my d"*k ex husband it will be thru then so it will be round august some time maybe sept)

well my problem is do i keep trying for a baby now or wait til after the honeymoon which will be to kenya for 10days - 14 days , the urge for a baby now is so strong and it keeps me up a nite thinking about it ,but is it better to wait until after


aaaarrrrr my brain is melted , i dont know wat to do at all

maybe if i get some help with it , it might help me make a desession about it

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
corrinacs
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:43 AM

Hey,

My best suggestion is to think about the pros and cons between waiting and not waiting.  Its hard to think about that way, but think about it pragmatically instead of emotionally.  That way you can think about the best possible scenario :)

just-one-more
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:46 AM


Quoting corrinacs:

Hey,

My best suggestion is to think about the pros and cons between waiting and not waiting.  Its hard to think about that way, but think about it pragmatically instead of emotionally.  That way you can think about the best possible scenario :)


age wise its still on my side im only 28,

i have talked to hubby to be and he says he doesnt care how we do it all he knows and wants is to get married me and have a baby with me and he doesnt care which one comes first

73angel
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:48 AM

You really can only do what is best for your whole situation. You both need to talk about it and decide what is best.

GwenMB
by Gwen on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:15 AM

I agree with 73angel that you need to weigh the pros & cons of TTC now or waiting until after the honeymoon.

A few things I would consider in making this decision

Do you want to bring a newborn with on what sounds like an amazing honeymoon?  

What happens with the honeymoon if you're too pregnant to travel?  You could wait with the honeymoon, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be to go.

Any chance your ex could make the divorce more difficult if you are already pregnant by your fiance?

But, this is really a decision that only you & your fiance can make.  Good luck!

truelyred2
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:21 AM

 I want to throw one more thought out there. If you are pregnant while you are still married, your husband at the time of birth it considered the birth father and will have cuystody rights. Even if you take a paternity test he still has the rights and will be on the birth certificate as the baby's father. I know this for a fact because I know someone who this happened to. He has custody of 3 children conceived during the marriage 1 of which is not his bio child and he and his ex were separated for over 2 years before the child's birth. The state took the children because she is a piece of shit drug addict but they never even contact the bio father as Jeff was listed as the father due to them being married and the state knows the boy is not his bio son.

Dani1009
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:22 AM
I went through a similar situation. I wasn't completely divorced when I started dating my husband. My attorney told me this; "do NOT get pregnant until the divorce is final." In the state of Wisconsin, a divorce will not be finalized if the woman is pregnant. First the baby has to be born & a dna test done to prove paternity, etc... So just check into that before making your decision.
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Macysmomma07
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:30 AM

Ultimately do what's right for you two. IMO I'd wait until your divorce in finalized & you two are married :). Gl

Grumpylilpixy
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:32 AM

I would def wait. You are going to need shots before you go that may not be safe if you are pregnant. It's not safe to travel to another country being pregnant. Your immune system is down. And it's just all around not a good idea. Good Luck!

Grumpylilpixy
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:34 AM

I had a child while married to someone else. When I filed the divorce I just put the 2 kiddo's that are his down. There was no question and the judge didn't question it. Most likely they aren't going to press the issue....

Bbygirl87
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:36 AM

all of these girls have perfect points.. U should look into the laws of ur states bcuz every where its different but it would totally suck if u get pregnant n ur ex is listed on the birth certificate, also if u r too pregnant u wont be able to travel and I highly doubt u would want to take ur baby on a honey moon and risk him getting sick and I dont think u would want to leave him.. Its all upto u girl and whats best for u two.. good luck in whatever decision u make :)

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