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Our first unromantic... encounter.

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:01 PM
  • 11 Replies

     So this has really had me bumming since yesterday.  It was the first time we had sex because we had to.  Neither of us really felt like it, and I definately didn't finish.  It broke my heart looking at him because we both knew the situation.  I could barely look him in the eye.  We are 2 and half years in and before this month I really didn't think about it or let it bother me, but suddenly my clock is ticking so loudly I can't think of anything else.  To top it off this afternoon we actually wanted to do it but couldn't because we are trying to always get the healthiest sperm possible, and we were told if you do it too often or not enough you won't get that.  I don't want what is supposed to bring us together even more be the thing to drive us apart.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom_to_Skyler
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:08 PM
So sorry!
fortunafelidae
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:09 PM

There comes a point where you may have to decide what's more important. If it starts to hurt your relationship, is it worth it? That may be worth discussing with him.

VMoreno
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:41 PM


Quoting fortunafelidae:

There comes a point where you may have to decide what's more important. If it starts to hurt your relationship, is it worth it? That may be worth discussing with him.


I don't think it's hurting us yet really.  We both knew what it was for, and that made it kinda awkward to be honest.  The past two and a half years have been just passive trying, yknow if it happends it happends kinda thing.  So yesterday when we had to "fit it in" to our schedule it was just weird.  With intent comes hope, and I just don't want to be let down when it doesn't work out.  And we talked about it before and afterwards.  He has been very supportive lately and it has been wonderful.

faronsmom31313
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:44 PM

dang. sorry girl. i hope it works out :) baby dust!

leandrat
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:06 PM
Yup I've been there that's why this cycle is the last 43 cycles is enough of us not having fun and loving sex anymore
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akrogers13
by Silver Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:29 AM

bd when you feel like it.... if it's becoming a chore then it's going to hurt your relatinship... if you're holding back because "timing is bad", it's going to hurt your relationship...

VMoreno
by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:51 AM


Quoting akrogers13:

bd when you feel like it.... if it's becoming a chore then it's going to hurt your relatinship... if you're holding back because "timing is bad", it's going to hurt your relationship...


Under normal circumstances I would agree.  I just don't want to miss my window.  We really want a baby.

On a funnier note since I posted this, I was rambling on the other day about something else we could do and he started laughing at me.  I asked him what was so funny.  He said, "I could ask you what your favoite color was and you would say baaaabyyyyy...."  He is probobly right lol.

corrinacs
by Ruby Member on Sep. 16, 2011 at 10:21 AM

Hey, I am so sorry its getting this way for you. Is there any male factor infertility in your relationship? If so, then it would make sense to keep to every other day, but otherwise, you can do it whenever you'd like :) :). 

It sounds liek the both of you really need to relax through all of this.  You both need to take a mini-break at some point and just LOVE one another.  My hubby and I were so afraid our relatioonship would come to this during our IF stint, but we really tried our best to keep the spark anyway!  And ti worked :).  I went on a few Victoria's Secret runs and did what I could spice things up.  When we weren't in our fertile period, I would keep the light in the bedroom alive :) :).

Hang in there :).  Just sounds liek you are both stressing out over this, which is understandable :) :)

bonnebell81
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 10:56 AM

Hang in there hun, I felt this way as well when we were ttc. It will happen for you, best of luck and babydust!

baby dust

VMoreno
by on Sep. 16, 2011 at 5:44 PM


Quoting corrinacs:

Hey, I am so sorry its getting this way for you. Is there any male factor infertility in your relationship? If so, then it would make sense to keep to every other day, but otherwise, you can do it whenever you'd like :) :). 


 

No, not that I know of.  He has 1 and I have 2, so we know we can do it.  It's just a factor of getting things going.  For 2 and a half years we were trying passively, and this month we started the whole temping and checking my cervix and CM, all that good stuff.  I figured if after three more cycles of nothing I would go see a RE.  Really avoiding that though.  Afraid to hear bad news.  Was going to try the over the counter stuff as well during this time frame.. soy iso, aspirin, mucinex, and pre-seed.  I'm still young, 26, so I know there is hope, but I never thought this would be anything I would ever struggle with, especially since I was 19, 20, and 21 with my other pregnancies.  Last one was a m/c, but after that happend it was almost like I became sterile.  :/

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