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so frustrating... :(

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:55 PM
  • 7 Replies

just need to vent a little...


ive never had a problem with conceiving in the past... both times i've gotten pregnant (only one completed...), i was on birth control and had taken the morning after pill. and both of those times it was only 1 time sex was unprotected and i didnt pay attention to any ovulation/fertile days, they just happened to be on time. even my second pregnancy with my daughter, my doctor was surprised i got pregnant because he said i shouldnt have even been ovulating yet. my boyfriend and i weren't exactly "trying" but were... if that makes sense. i only took the morning after pill because i got a little scared. :/

anyways, i am so beyond glad that the birth control and morning after pill failed, because i now have the most beautiful, perfect, wonderful daughter and i love her more than life itself. the experience of having this baby girl is so amazing, my boyfriend and i decided to try again. we took a couple random chances the past few months, but nothing came of it. by random i mean, no charting or anything... just had sex on some of the days i thought i may be fertile.

every month that nothing happens, we both get sadder and sadder. my december negative has been the worst. so we decided to really really try in december. do everything right, take my temperature, etc. well my big problem is that i'm still breastfeeding about 30-40% of the time. i've been told by ladies in this group that breastfeeding is probably throwing off my hormones, which is why my cycles have been so irregular. i've had 5 periods with weird cycle lengths like 34, 32, 31, and then in december i got my period a week early, on the 16th. averaging my cycle legth to 30 days (i believe the actual average is 28), i should have started my period today, but haven't gotten it. when charting my days, i switched my average cycle length everywhere from 28 to 34 days, to make sure we had sex within the right time, just incase. we had sex every other day for the time periods my chart showed, only we did miss the last 2 times we were supposed to. :(


as usual, i couldnt wait to take a test, so i took one yesterday morning and it was a very clear negative. even though i didnt get my period today, i just am like 99% sure i'm not pregnant.:(

this has really been my first time REALLY trying for conception, and i cant believe how frustrating and disappointing it can be. i now feel for all you ladies who keep getting negatives, and i've only had a mere taste of disappointment, and i am lucky enough to have had my daughter. my boyfriend is taking it so badly, i think he may be taking it worse than i am... and i dont think his frustration can be a positive thing when we try again this month, cus of the pressure. 

any advice on how to regulate my cycle (one lady said to take something called Vitex) or just how to deal with the disappointment/frustration would be greatly appreciated. thanks for listening <3


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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:55 PM
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Replies (1-7):
GwenMB
by Gwen on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:10 PM

Do you have a chart with your morning temps to share?

I agree with taking Vitex and I would also suggest taking B6 if it isn't included in the Vitex you pick up (some say it is included, it wasn't in the Vitex I'm taking).

As for the disappointment, that is hard.  You could focus on the fact that the sooner you get pregnant, the sooner your milk is likely to dry up (I see your DD is only almost 8 months).  I don't know that I would have been comforted by that when I was ttc #2 while nursing #1, but it is something.

FieriMadre
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:29 PM

i actually started charting late, i didnt even really know about charting your body temperature until i joined this group, honestly. i had my period on the 16th and didnt start charting until christmas day. :/ i stopped on january 3rd when i was pretty sure i wasnt fertile anymore this cycle... but i just started charting again yesterday.

how long did it take you to conceive with your second/how old was your first when you started trying? just curious...

here is a screenshot of my december chart... again, i started charting pretty late. :/ the one on xmas seems very high... but i took it at 3pm instead of when i woke up, cus thats when i found out i was supposed to be charting my temps. everywhere it says "PM" in the boxes underneath are the nights we ttc.


Quoting GwenMB:

Do you have a chart with your morning temps to share?

I agree with taking Vitex and I would also suggest taking B6 if it isn't included in the Vitex you pick up (some say it is included, it wasn't in the Vitex I'm taking).

As for the disappointment, that is hard.  You could focus on the fact that the sooner you get pregnant, the sooner your milk is likely to dry up (I see your DD is only almost 8 months).  I don't know that I would have been comforted by that when I was ttc #2 while nursing #1, but it is something.


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GwenMB
by Gwen on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:38 PM

Well, I'd keep testing.  You can get a clear BFN one day & a BFP the next.

With #2, I tested on a Saturday & got a BFN.  Monday I tested again & got a BFP (actually, it took two tries on Monday, I was impatient with the first test & didn't give it time so had to retest 4 hours later to see if it was a BFP).

With #2, I did get pregnant the first cycle I thought we'd gotten the timing right.  We have a few cycles where we had "performance issues" when we should have been BDing or couldn't BD when we should have, though.  My older DS was 11 months & not nursing a ton anymore (he wasn't nursing as often as he probably should have been).

FieriMadre
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 7:59 PM

yeah, i figure i'll wait til friday to test again... my second period after having DD was i think 4 or 5 days late... so i'm not going to get my hopes up until after that time period has passed... sometimes i wanna test every day and sometimes id rather just wait til i get my period to avoid the daily disappointment. plus i'm having mild cramps on and off today, and im pretty sure its too late for implantation. :(

yeah we were supposed to BD on the 2nd and 4th and it didnt work out either of those days... im pretty sure the 2nd was my peak day (maybe) too... but we would like another girl anyways, so i didnt think it was too big of a deal. now im really upset we missed those days. :/

i really dont want to stop breastfeeding! but im starting to think i may have to wean if i want to conceive again. :(

if AF ends up visiting this month, im gonna try and kick her ass out for another year in february!

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GwenMB
by Gwen on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:30 PM

Chart for a full cycle or two before deciding to wean!  You may be ovulating, you may just need to be able to see when.

Vitex & B6 are safe while nursing, so maybe just start taking them & see if that helps.

FieriMadre
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:02 PM

yes, that is a great idea. i just read that vitex can make you ovulate earlier... and not to take it unless you really understand whats going on with your body. :/ i guess i have to do a little more research and keep charting. ughhh, i hate waiting!

thank you so much for your advice!!! :)

you rock

Quoting GwenMB:

Chart for a full cycle or two before deciding to wean!  You may be ovulating, you may just need to be able to see when.

Vitex & B6 are safe while nursing, so maybe just start taking them & see if that helps.


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MS.SIMPSON
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:13 AM

IM TRYIN SO HARD IM 27 WITH NO KIDS!!!!Y!!!!IM TRING TO START A FAMILY

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