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TTC - Trying to Conceive TTC - Trying to Conceive

BAD news early in the morning

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 So I guess my bf was in deep thought last night , he woke me up and wanted to talk about ttc , which I THOUGHT was good new . But he's starting to have secong thoughts about it because im not working right now and have no car, although he has a very good job and a car. So the 21st is out of the question , and now we are aiming for sometime later in the year :'( im very hurt because I was so excited about ttc for the first time it was all so perfectly planned out , and since the 22 is his b-day I was going to have candles, flowers , wine , and cook dinner and it would have been so romantic and beautiful to concieve a child on that day . UGH im so mad right now

frustrated

by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Replies (41-50):
BeckyBrit
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Im sorry :0( i hope he changes his mind
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
arab.love.19
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Ya I guess that makes sense so it kinda does depend on where u live too. But I think its wrong for societies to judge ppl on others life styles or choices. And everyone makes mistakes, it seems most ppl remember the bad instaed of good in societies. And I'm sorry to hear u lost a friend well at least u know she wasn't a true friend. And besides u always lose something but always gain something later. So maybe it was meant to be. 

Quoting 4everamber:

When I was her age I wanted a baby and felt weird not having kids when I was 26. Where I am from it;s the society that makes you feel like your an outcast if your not married and you don't have kids by 26. Im in my early thirties and now see what has happened to woman that have had kids early. Some have stayed married and are happy but a lot are divorced and struggling and the kids suffer. One girlfriend was so jealous of my road trips and my traveling she strated treating me like crap and we are no longer friends. ive been on an Alaskan cruise, Scotland,England,hawaii and almost all the states. Anyone can do that and i recommend traveling it made for great memories and now I am ready to settle down without regrets.

Quoting arab.love.19:

U know I have to say in ur situation I think u did a good job waiting since thats wut u wanted. U should always do wut u want. And I see she wants a baby she should get one if she wants it no one can tell someone u can't have a kid and we don't know their life style so I can't say more then that. And in the end its their decision. I just wish them the best of luck and hope they can come to an agreement and be happy. But if she wants a baby n he changed his mind because of financial issues she can help if she wants like get a job or something and its ok to depend on ur mother for somethings its never wrong to ask for help from someone else when u need it especially family. My older sister supported us when my step dad worked less n eventually lost his job but he got back on his feet after a while. And still my older sister supports them as much as she can even if they don't need it because that is wut family does. U can never go wrong to ask help from a family member. 

And actually I kinda agree to that n kinda don't. I know a girl she was in my high school she got married n pregnant at 16 and let me tell u she matured a lottt. Having kids can mature someone even older ppl like my older sister her bf used to go out a lot when she was pregnant and leave her home n stuff n she didn't like it but after the baby was born he changed and is there all the time (he lives there but I'm saying he is with my sister and their baby instead of going out) and they are getting married in the summer. I just like to keep things positive here. 

Quoting 4everamber:

Sorry I should mention I live a Utah and we have a high number of single mothers that got pregnant in their early 20's.If a guy isn't ready don't push it or you will push him way. Guy don't like to be push or feel trapped. Also if i didn't have a car I would be in trouble with my four-year-old and you can't rely and should rely on other people. Would you be upset if someone bought a puppy and wanted to you to take care of puppy on their time? How would that be fair to the other person just because they are your mother she has a life too. My dad has always taught me college, career,house,marriage, low debt then a baby. I have my house,two bachelor degrees, a career and a husband. Now I can give my child 100% instead of stressing about making end meet. How is raising a kid fun when you have to struggle?




tarakay0417
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:47 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting lovinglife0682:

You are still so young. Two cars are a good idea. You need to make doctors appointments and such. You can't ask your bf to take off every time you need to go. Take your time.

 She doesn't have to ask her Bf to take off of work for dr appts. I am sure she has a drivers license and she could take him to work so she can have the car for appointments that day. My Dh and I only have 1 vehicle and we make it work if I need the truck for the day and he has to be somewhere that day. There are other options.

4everamber
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 3:38 PM

It was sad to lose a friend (6 years) but she got divorced her life went into a different direction. She went from 28 to 16. bars,alcohol and men. She gave her kids to their dads and one weekend was too sick to pick them up for her weekend (every other weekend) but managed to go to the bar the night until 3am > how I know this, she lived with my husband and i until she got on her feet. She even watched my son (she had a daycare out of her home) to pay for rent. it was odd when my son would leave walk out the house and she was "sleeping" or in the shower and this happened 3 or 4 times. It's sad she went from a devoted mother to I missed my 20's and I am missing out. I got all my fun out and Im ready for responsibiltiy. That is all i was trying to say.

Quoting arab.love.19:

Ya I guess that makes sense so it kinda does depend on where u live too. But I think its wrong for societies to judge ppl on others life styles or choices. And everyone makes mistakes, it seems most ppl remember the bad instaed of good in societies. And I'm sorry to hear u lost a friend well at least u know she wasn't a true friend. And besides u always lose something but always gain something later. So maybe it was meant to be. 

Quoting 4everamber:

When I was her age I wanted a baby and felt weird not having kids when I was 26. Where I am from it;s the society that makes you feel like your an outcast if your not married and you don't have kids by 26. Im in my early thirties and now see what has happened to woman that have had kids early. Some have stayed married and are happy but a lot are divorced and struggling and the kids suffer. One girlfriend was so jealous of my road trips and my traveling she strated treating me like crap and we are no longer friends. ive been on an Alaskan cruise, Scotland,England,hawaii and almost all the states. Anyone can do that and i recommend traveling it made for great memories and now I am ready to settle down without regrets.

Quoting arab.love.19:

U know I have to say in ur situation I think u did a good job waiting since thats wut u wanted. U should always do wut u want. And I see she wants a baby she should get one if she wants it no one can tell someone u can't have a kid and we don't know their life style so I can't say more then that. And in the end its their decision. I just wish them the best of luck and hope they can come to an agreement and be happy. But if she wants a baby n he changed his mind because of financial issues she can help if she wants like get a job or something and its ok to depend on ur mother for somethings its never wrong to ask for help from someone else when u need it especially family. My older sister supported us when my step dad worked less n eventually lost his job but he got back on his feet after a while. And still my older sister supports them as much as she can even if they don't need it because that is wut family does. U can never go wrong to ask help from a family member. 

And actually I kinda agree to that n kinda don't. I know a girl she was in my high school she got married n pregnant at 16 and let me tell u she matured a lottt. Having kids can mature someone even older ppl like my older sister her bf used to go out a lot when she was pregnant and leave her home n stuff n she didn't like it but after the baby was born he changed and is there all the time (he lives there but I'm saying he is with my sister and their baby instead of going out) and they are getting married in the summer. I just like to keep things positive here. 

Quoting 4everamber:

Sorry I should mention I live a Utah and we have a high number of single mothers that got pregnant in their early 20's.If a guy isn't ready don't push it or you will push him way. Guy don't like to be push or feel trapped. Also if i didn't have a car I would be in trouble with my four-year-old and you can't rely and should rely on other people. Would you be upset if someone bought a puppy and wanted to you to take care of puppy on their time? How would that be fair to the other person just because they are your mother she has a life too. My dad has always taught me college, career,house,marriage, low debt then a baby. I have my house,two bachelor degrees, a career and a husband. Now I can give my child 100% instead of stressing about making end meet. How is raising a kid fun when you have to struggle?


 



arab.love.19
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 4:10 PM

Ya that is sad sorry again but life still goes on...

Quoting 4everamber:

It was sad to lose a friend (6 years) but she got divorced her life went into a different direction. She went from 28 to 16. bars,alcohol and men. She gave her kids to their dads and one weekend was too sick to pick them up for her weekend (every other weekend) but managed to go to the bar the night until 3am > how I know this, she lived with my husband and i until she got on her feet. She even watched my son (she had a daycare out of her home) to pay for rent. it was odd when my son would leave walk out the house and she was "sleeping" or in the shower and this happened 3 or 4 times. It's sad she went from a devoted mother to I missed my 20's and I am missing out. I got all my fun out and Im ready for responsibiltiy. That is all i was trying to say.

Quoting arab.love.19:

Ya I guess that makes sense so it kinda does depend on where u live too. But I think its wrong for societies to judge ppl on others life styles or choices. And everyone makes mistakes, it seems most ppl remember the bad instaed of good in societies. And I'm sorry to hear u lost a friend well at least u know she wasn't a true friend. And besides u always lose something but always gain something later. So maybe it was meant to be. 

Quoting 4everamber:

When I was her age I wanted a baby and felt weird not having kids when I was 26. Where I am from it;s the society that makes you feel like your an outcast if your not married and you don't have kids by 26. Im in my early thirties and now see what has happened to woman that have had kids early. Some have stayed married and are happy but a lot are divorced and struggling and the kids suffer. One girlfriend was so jealous of my road trips and my traveling she strated treating me like crap and we are no longer friends. ive been on an Alaskan cruise, Scotland,England,hawaii and almost all the states. Anyone can do that and i recommend traveling it made for great memories and now I am ready to settle down without regrets.

Quoting arab.love.19:

U know I have to say in ur situation I think u did a good job waiting since thats wut u wanted. U should always do wut u want. And I see she wants a baby she should get one if she wants it no one can tell someone u can't have a kid and we don't know their life style so I can't say more then that. And in the end its their decision. I just wish them the best of luck and hope they can come to an agreement and be happy. But if she wants a baby n he changed his mind because of financial issues she can help if she wants like get a job or something and its ok to depend on ur mother for somethings its never wrong to ask for help from someone else when u need it especially family. My older sister supported us when my step dad worked less n eventually lost his job but he got back on his feet after a while. And still my older sister supports them as much as she can even if they don't need it because that is wut family does. U can never go wrong to ask help from a family member. 

And actually I kinda agree to that n kinda don't. I know a girl she was in my high school she got married n pregnant at 16 and let me tell u she matured a lottt. Having kids can mature someone even older ppl like my older sister her bf used to go out a lot when she was pregnant and leave her home n stuff n she didn't like it but after the baby was born he changed and is there all the time (he lives there but I'm saying he is with my sister and their baby instead of going out) and they are getting married in the summer. I just like to keep things positive here. 

Quoting 4everamber:

Sorry I should mention I live a Utah and we have a high number of single mothers that got pregnant in their early 20's.If a guy isn't ready don't push it or you will push him way. Guy don't like to be push or feel trapped. Also if i didn't have a car I would be in trouble with my four-year-old and you can't rely and should rely on other people. Would you be upset if someone bought a puppy and wanted to you to take care of puppy on their time? How would that be fair to the other person just because they are your mother she has a life too. My dad has always taught me college, career,house,marriage, low debt then a baby. I have my house,two bachelor degrees, a career and a husband. Now I can give my child 100% instead of stressing about making end meet. How is raising a kid fun when you have to struggle?






audreesmama
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 8:21 AM
I feel the same way. Children are expensive! Even more so, do you want the chance to tell your child no, we can't afford it? I didn't, which is why we waited until I had a degree and a stable job. We have two very nice cars and good jobs. We have a beautiful house and more importantly--we have the time and resources to care for a child the way they deserve. I was not going to make a selfish, impulsive decision and bring a life into the world where so many are already suffering when I knew I couldnt properly take care of them.

Children are a great thing, but you need to be ready and have an action plan. Babies need more than love. Make sure you having a child is not a selfish, baby-fever move.


Quoting lovinglife0682:

Quoting xx.felisha.xx:


That is great for you. We can agree to disagree. For us two newer cars that dont break down were important as well as a house before we had anymore kids. But everyone is different. I am glad it all seems to be working out for you.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ashleysmommy123
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 9:47 AM

It sounds to me like this was something that was really stressing him out...and needed to get it off his chest....not saying it was the best time....but I am assuming thats why he did it when he did.  I kind of agree with him.  I am a bit of a planner.  I need to know how everything is going to work and be taken care of.  I had completed college....got married and bought a house with two cars before we had a baby.  I am not saying its impossible to do those things after a baby...but most people I have seen that have a child first.....have a much harder time acheiving those things after.  I could never be without a car....you just never know what can happen...and even though you have your mom to help you......it can get kind of annoying calling someone everytime you need a ride somewhere.  Good luck....I had my baby at 25.  It will happen in time.  Don't rush it!

Quoting GwenMB:

Can you find a part time job at least for right now?  So you can save all that money & have it to buy another car or for a house downpayment or baby expenses or whatever.  Are you close to a bus line that you could use to get to work?

I may be reading too much into this, but I dislike the fact that he woke you up to talk about this.  Why couldn't it wait until morning or some time when you are both awake?


Crystal
Armygirl2299703
by on Jan. 17, 2012 at 6:58 PM

I'm sorry *hugs*

Tho not having a car of your own shouldn't determine if your going to continue ttc...or a job for that matter. I don't work, have been going to school and taking care of my 5yr old daughter while helping him settle into life as a single dad tho he has tons of help from his parents who have his DD right now. He has a great job that will allow me to stay home with the kids as well if thats what I choose because he's totally fine if I choose not to work outside the home as long as I'm not acting like the xwife did and sitting around online all day long dirty'n the house instead of helping take care of it.

As a SAHM I plan to continue making crafts such as headbands, crocheting blankets, fleece tie blankets etc that I sell on ebay. You can also sell your childs clothing and other baby items that are still in good condition that you don't feel the need to hold onto. I do this as well. It allows u to have a bit of your own money coming in to help with stuff, even if it just a night out for the two of you.




I love my family: wonderful bf Jeremy, beautiful daughter Lyric & beauful stepdaughter Destinee...and we're hoping to add a new member to our family soon.




Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers
bookworm97
by Kelly on Jan. 17, 2012 at 7:23 PM

Aw, I'm sorry. That must be a huge disappointment. But don't be discouraged. Everything happens for a reason and maybe it's all for the best right now.  ((HUGS))

4everamber
by on Jan. 18, 2012 at 7:43 PM

You took the words right out of my mother. i live a state where its a rush and then they regret waiting. having babies first makes it so hard.

Quoting audreesmama:

I feel the same way. Children are expensive! Even more so, do you want the chance to tell your child no, we can't afford it? I didn't, which is why we waited until I had a degree and a stable job. We have two very nice cars and good jobs. We have a beautiful house and more importantly--we have the time and resources to care for a child the way they deserve. I was not going to make a selfish, impulsive decision and bring a life into the world where so many are already suffering when I knew I couldnt properly take care of them.

Children are a great thing, but you need to be ready and have an action plan. Babies need more than love. Make sure you having a child is not a selfish, baby-fever move.


Quoting lovinglife0682:

Quoting xx.felisha.xx:


That is great for you. We can agree to disagree. For us two newer cars that dont break down were important as well as a house before we had anymore kids. But everyone is different. I am glad it all seems to be working out for you.


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