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WARNING: VENT- only respond positively please!

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:26 PM
  • 25 Replies

I've been so hopeful this month because my temp has been on an upward slope, until this morning. This morning it fell to just above the control line (I think is what it's called) I was so upset, because I only have 3 days left til AF is due, and now is about the time that my temp would go down if I'm not pregnant. Upset, I told my husband I don't think we should keep trying. This is taking a huge tole on my emotions and I just feel so hopeless. He begged me to keep trying, saying, "It'll happen when it's supposed to" but I'm so sick of hearing this. I know it's not going to happen any sooner "than it's supposed to" but if that's the case, why keep trying for it now? What if it doesn't happen for years? I mean, we bought a house, have (his) kids bedroom all decorated and cute and full of toys and goodies, and the other room, the room we had planned for a baby, is seemingly empty, bare, lifeless. It makes me sick to even open that door, knowing that we bought this house to put a baby in this room a year ago, and here we are, still no baby. I mean, don't get me wrong, we do use it as a guest room, but we don't have guests. We have baby things that we bought stored in a closet, but I want to throw them away. I feel like I'm being hopeful for no reason. He doesn't but I just don't know what to do at this point. We are 13 months into TTC and we keep coming up with BF(F'n)N. Thanks for letting me vent. How do I convence him that this isn't good for us? That we can't just keep trying and carrying on like it's no big deal with every fail attempt?

by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
EAzizM
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel hun. I am in the same boat. month after month of bfn's you cant help but to get down about it. I just like to see it as, maybe it isnt the right time, kwim? I hate when dh sayd it will happen when it will happen because we have tried for 11 months and nothing. It gets very frustrating but I do believe one day I will get my baby and all this struggle and letdowns will be so worth it at the end. Chin up hun. =)

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mama232011
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:38 PM

hun maybe you keed to just stop temping stop keeping track of when af is due no tests... dont prevent it but get a hobby or something to keep ur mind off the baby making

kajira
by Emma on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:41 PM

it took us 5 years to get pregnant with baby #2.... so all I can say is it's a different road for each person, and it's not always that easy.

if you've been trying for more than a year - are you charting? how are you timing sex?

have you read the book "taking charge of your fertility" ???

If you've done all that, it's time to talk to a doctor.

get a sperm anylsis done, get your tubes checked... etc.

Sparkey6987
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:26 PM
3 moms liked this
Why don't you throw away all of the OPKs, stop charting, and just test once a month. Maybe take up a hobby to try and get your mind off TTC so much, and relieve some stress. The stress of TTC and the emotional roller coaster is a LOT for anyone. If you still want to conceive, maybe taking a step back and not obsessing/trying so hard and putting yourself through hell every month might just do the trick. At the very least, you won't be so stressed and heartbroken every month. And it's a lot harder to conceive with all of that stress. Maybe just relax, and go with the flow. Make love when you're in the mood, and forget about timing and everything else. That worked for us, and it has worked for plenty of other women :) ...keep your chin up, chickadee. I wish you the best of luck...just relax and try to enjoy life, and I'm sure once you do, it will happen for you! <3
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Ritt
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 5:32 PM

Keep your head up. If you feel as if you want to quit trying for the time being because it is to hard emotionally then do so but don't "GIVE UP" completely. Tell your husband you want to take some time off. have sex for fun not to try having a baby. Its been 10 months since my husband and I started trying its hard I know how you feel. We have baby stuff as well I just put it up where I cannot see it so I don't get upset about it. I told my husband I wanted to try for a few more months then stop and just have fun I want to stop trying to have a baby and try to get it off my mind. I am trying to find something to take my mind off of stressing about getting pregnant. A new hobby getting out of the house more Which actually doesn't help me much because all the pregnant people I see and know. But don't ever completely give up, Your time will come! Good luck hun. Keep your head up and try not to stress about it so much. Remember there are things that can also help you get pregnant. and maybe it would be a good Idea to stop temping and using OPK if you do so. Try not to think about getting pregnant while BD'ing and have fun with things and life. GL ***Baby Dust***

Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers
ABCS_Chambo
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:17 PM
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Thanks y'all. We have done all the testing and sperm analyses and I'm actually on Clomid. Ill keep taking it and doing it one more month then I'm done keeping track...
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BabyDust77
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:28 PM
Oh my goodness. Ur story sounds exactly like mine, almost word for word. Even the chart situation sounds similar. Last month, i had two big dips ( one at 6 dpo and 12 dpo.) Way against my better judgement, i tested a day or so after them. Of course, bfn. I was sooo upset, but i didnt really start getting upset till 2 or 3 days into af. I told my dh i wanted to stop all the fancy ttc stuff n april. I bought a clearblue fertility monitor in which most reviews said they got preg within 3 months of using it. So, im giving it that time. weve been ttc since july 2010, with two losses. Its not easy. It seems like when ur trying thats when everyone around u is prefer. Huggs mama.. Were all n this together. If u ever wanna talk im here. Pm me anytime.
ABCS_Chambo
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Seriously I only work with 3 other women and since TTC ALL of them are preggo. Last night I met a girl who was preggo. 2 girls I grew up with have gotten preggo since we have been TTC.. I don't know what I'm going to do once AF is here.. I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry until she's gone.

Quoting BabyDust77:

Oh my goodness. Ur story sounds exactly like mine, almost word for word. Even the chart situation sounds similar. Last month, i had two big dips ( one at 6 dpo and 12 dpo.) Way against my better judgement, i tested a day or so after them. Of course, bfn. I was sooo upset, but i didnt really start getting upset till 2 or 3 days into af. I told my dh i wanted to stop all the fancy ttc stuff n april. I bought a clearblue fertility monitor in which most reviews said they got preg within 3 months of using it. So, im giving it that time. weve been ttc since july 2010, with two losses. Its not easy. It seems like when ur trying thats when everyone around u is prefer. Huggs mama.. Were all n this together. If u ever wanna talk im here. Pm me anytime.
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BabyDust77
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Id be right there with u, he he. We can boo hoo together. All my friends just had babies. The girl who served me and dh.our food, when we went out, was preg. Ugh! I wanna be knocked up already. I want my baby belly. Waaaaah.
mrs_sunshine
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 10:29 PM
Have you seen a fertility dr?
My DH and I have been TTC for 3 1/2 years. We've been seeing fertility dr for about a year now, and after tests we have been doing IUI's. I just got my BFP. (i was one cycle away from giving up that dream)
I know how hard it is, there were so many days that I wanted to quit (and it would not have happened without RE help) but I just keep pulling through, thinking I've put too much of my emotions, mentally, physically, and financially to quit. It tough, no doubt. Hugs!
Hope you get through this.
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