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19 Pregnant friends and I am losing mine.

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:15 PM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

I have been TTC for 2 and a half years. I have been on fertility treatment the past six. Since starting treatment, 19 people have announced their pregnancy to me. Each time is worse than the last. I found out 2 days ago I am pregnant but will probably lose it due to not producing enough HCG. Today my cousin tells me she is pregnant. I went hysterical. I am so completly depressed i cant put it into words. My husband is no help. He just doesnt understand. He is the most unsensitive male in the entire world. When he came home and saw me in tears all he said to me was " I dont know why you let it affect you like this?" I feel so alone and so broken. I dont know where to turn for help. But I know now that I need it. And FAST!!!!

by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bero2007
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:18 PM
Is your hcg going up? With ds I was told id most likely miscarry again because my hcg was barely going up and I mean barely. I prepared myself for another d&c but they kept testing and somehow my numbers starting going up. He turned 3 a week ago so have hope it can happen! Are they going to keep testing?
lukebabymama
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:22 PM
Pray to god and have your hand on ur tummy while praying and be sincere than have faith that everything will be fine...
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TTCNUMBERTWO
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:30 PM
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God and I are not exactly on speaking terms right now. I know alot of people turn to him when in trouble, but I am one of those that just find it hard to have any faith. Everyone keeps saying, have faith and blah blah blah. So please dont talk to me about God. I am sick of hearing about it and as upset as I am right now, Its just gonna upset me more. Also tired of "It will happen". No comment from the peanut gallery  and no preachers please. I just need advice on how to handle all this. Something BESIDES pray because that is not working

( I really dont mean for this to sound rude)

NoraDun
by Ruby Member on May. 2, 2012 at 11:41 PM
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Doesn't sound liek you will be pleased with anything we say. I do believe in prayer for people who believe. If you dont it obviously wouldn't help you even if you did. So I will just say I am sorry, I wish you the best, and I will pray for you and your husband.

Quoting TTCNUMBERTWO:

God and I are not exactly on speaking terms right now. I know alot of people turn to him when in trouble, but I am one of those that just find it hard to have any faith. Everyone keeps saying, have faith and blah blah blah. So please dont talk to me about God. I am sick of hearing about it and as upset as I am right now, Its just gonna upset me more. Also tired of "It will happen". No comment from the peanut gallery  and no preachers please. I just need advice on how to handle all this. Something BESIDES pray because that is not working

( I really dont mean for this to sound rude)


Elaiztim
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:46 PM
I understand I do believe in god but since I been ttc it has been three years and I that course 8 people have gotten pregnant and every time they tell me I'm pregnant I question my self why not me and try to be happy but most of the time I end up staying as far as I can from them all I can say keep trying and if u miscarege just try harder next time is a tough fight against infertility but I know we can win :) :) :)
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cdjmommy
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:48 PM
3 moms liked this

 Have you considered therapy? After my 2 mc I had to go. It seemed like every time i turned around someone was pregnant or there was a new baby. And it made me so damn mad!! Finally I broke, mentally. I had to get help, I didn't even want to live anymore, especially the day my nephew was born, MY DUE DATE!! It's ok to have feelings about this frustrating, unfair time in your life, and sometimes its OK to ask for outside help. It really helped me, and I think by your post it may help you too. All of the tiring hours you have to sit and deal with your feelings alone are not going to help, if anything it will be worse. Sometimes having someone who is completely outside your life just sit there and listen to you scream and cry or whatever, and give you good advice on how to deal with and work through your feelings, it can be worth more than you know. I hope this helps, and I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

EAzizM
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:54 PM
I have found out what helps me is to believe that everything happens for a reason and I don't pity myself when others announce their pregnancies. Pitying yourself will only make it harder for you in the long run. And if you don't want to hear that praying is the best thing to do in this situation, then what do you want to hear?!?
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Bero2007
by on May. 2, 2012 at 11:58 PM
1 mom liked this
I know how you feel with everyone saying they will pray for you and keep the faith and it will happen. I told you my story as a reminder that sometimes fate works in our favor. Im in your shoes now all the time though with people telling me to be thankful for what I have and it'll happen when it's supposed to. It never helps and never will. Just know that we are here with you by your side struggling right along your side.



MLCS0820
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Your husband sounds like my husband! They just don't understand how it affects us! They never will. Honey you just keep your head high and you keep trying! I'll pray for you in hopes that your HCG levels go up! Good luck!

Quoting TTCNUMBERTWO:

I have been TTC for 2 and a half years. I have been on fertility treatment the past six. Since starting treatment, 19 people have announced their pregnancy to me. Each time is worse than the last. I found out 2 days ago I am pregnant but will probably lose it due to not producing enough HCG. Today my cousin tells me she is pregnant. I went hysterical. I am so completly depressed i cant put it into words. My husband is no help. He just doesnt understand. He is the most unsensitive male in the entire world. When he came home and saw me in tears all he said to me was " I dont know why you let it affect you like this?" I feel so alone and so broken. I dont know where to turn for help. But I know now that I need it. And FAST!!!!

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TTCNUMBERTWO
by on May. 3, 2012 at 1:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Thank you everyone. Like I said, I didnt mean to sound rude, but its exhausting and upsetting when thats all people say. " Dont lose faith" " It will happen" " God works in mysterious ways" and I am just annoyed by it all. I do believe in God. I love him, but I am just mad because I dont know how to deal with my feelings. I tried to get help but the clnic isnt currently seeing spouses. My husband is military. I tried online help but they want you to pay 60 bucks just to tell you " It will happen." I am just hoping for some support, and for someone to talk to who REALLY understands. This is SO hard and I really feel like I need help but cant seem to get it. I am really trying. I break down everyday. My husband is absolutely NO help. He gets mad when I cry. But I cant help it. I cry all the time, I am totally depressed and I know it. I keep myself busy in the daytime, but at night I am all alone and cant help but think about things. I just need help and have no idea where to turn. I thousands of miles from real good friends and family. I live in Alaska and though I have lots of friends, no one I feel I can completly vent to, mainly because everyone up here I know is PREGNANT! And that makes it SO hard to hang out with them because I cry at even just the thought. I cant help it.

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