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TTC - Trying to Conceive TTC - Trying to Conceive

I was so upset at DH last night.

Posted by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:26 PM
  • 6 Replies

      We've been debating about getting a dog. He and his daughter are moving to another state in two weeks for his career and unfortunately due to my military service, I cannot go with them. I will see them once a month for the next two years, and we are going to try to time his visits with ovulation. I really want a dog, and found one in the shelter I like (great dane mix), because it will give me companionship while we are seperated as well as distract me from TTC. Well, he doesn't want me to have a dog. I've explained why I want one and he doesn't think it's a good idea.

     Last night he was getting a little heated about it before bed and he threw some tissue paper and a candy wrapper from my bedside table onto the floor and kicked my dirty clothes that I had on the ground saying, "Look at this! How do you expect to take care of a living thing?!?"

     I burst into tears, I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop crying and he didn't understand why I was so upset. He tried to ask what was wrong and why I was so upset about the dog and I told him my thoughts were nowhere near the dog and asked if he really thought that. That's when it donned on him how it had sounded and he freaked out and apologized and said he didn't mean it that way. I know he didn't mean it but he still said it and it upset me so bad, it still makes me want to cry right now.

by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:26 PM
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Replies (1-6):
krazene
by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Wowzers. Foot in mouth....

I'm sorry!
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bebe42081
by on May. 5, 2012 at 12:53 PM
HUGS! I am sure the stress of being gone has him saying things he wouldn't normally say!

I think getting a dog is a great idea! Why won't he go for it? Ultimately it's your decision anyways.
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MasterAtArms
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:24 PM

 

Quoting bebe42081:

HUGS! I am sure the stress of being gone has him saying things he wouldn't normally say!

I think getting a dog is a great idea! Why won't he go for it? Ultimately it's your decision anyways.

 He's not really worried about the dog for the time that we will be apart, but in two years I will be moving to be with him permanently. He's worried about having a dog then because he doesn't like animals. He doesn't want dog fur everywhere and he doesn't want to walk it or feed it. I keep trying to explain to him that he doesn't have to worry about it for the next two years and that by the time I get up there with him, I will be well adjusted to taking care of the dog on my own. He keeps saying, "how are you going to take care of the dog if you're working and going to school?" To which I explain that most people who have dogs have jobs too, and that after two years of full time school and military, I will be able to handle it. I really don't understand why he worries so much about it. I really think it would help me emotionally.

bebe42081
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:37 PM
I guess I can kinda see where he's coming from but you are right, you will be very used to the responsibilities that come with a dog and Shouldn't have any trouble keeping up! I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a part time job where I work 32 hours a week and another part time job that I work 10-12 hours a week and I have no problem keeping up with it all with little help from DF! (the kids and dogs are mine not his so I don't expect help from him).


Quoting MasterAtArms:

 


Quoting bebe42081:

HUGS! I am sure the stress of being gone has him saying things he wouldn't normally say!

I think getting a dog is a great idea! Why won't he go for it? Ultimately it's your decision anyways.

 He's not really worried about the dog for the time that we will be apart, but in two years I will be moving to be with him permanently. He's worried about having a dog then because he doesn't like animals. He doesn't want dog fur everywhere and he doesn't want to walk it or feed it. I keep trying to explain to him that he doesn't have to worry about it for the next two years and that by the time I get up there with him, I will be well adjusted to taking care of the dog on my own. He keeps saying, "how are you going to take care of the dog if you're working and going to school?" To which I explain that most people who have dogs have jobs too, and that after two years of full time school and military, I will be able to handle it. I really don't understand why he worries so much about it. I really think it would help me emotionally.


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MasterAtArms
by on May. 6, 2012 at 3:20 PM

 Thanks. I have noticed that the closer we get to our seperation, the more we go at eachother's throats.

Quoting meeks77:

I'm sorry to hear about all that!!! We are also a military family and I understand the frustrations of time apart, especially when TTC. I know we tend to be on egg shells before a separation and both say things hurtful we didn't mean. You said you know he doesn't mean it, but it does still hurt. Personally I think it's ok to cry more when you need to let it out, it's part of the process :) As far as the dog thing, I agree my puppy gives me comfort when apart, although there have been a ton of times I needed friends to help out when on my own if I was late at work or what not. I have a collie mix and they are high maintenance, great danes are also high energy and quite a handful. I have a friend who did dog sitting/walking every once in a while as she was only there 1-2yrs. There are always other military members needing "foster care" for animals when they are deployed. It could give you companionship for the time and it wouldn't be permanent when you move. Good luck on everything!!!

 

pryn4amiracle
by on May. 7, 2012 at 8:54 AM

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I agree with the PP, it's ok to cry, and to let it out. DH and I have been married almost 7 years, and never been apart longer than 2 nights, so I can't even imagine seeing him only 1/month for 2 years. I'm sure your DH is a great guy, but I think it's a little selfish of him not wanting you to get a dog. I also think it's a good idea for you to have a doggy around to keep you company. I'd def. get one, I hate being alone. (we have 2 cats). It sounds like a great idea to foster dogs, if you don't want to make it permanent. But if you do want to have a lifetime dog, maybe you should research what dog would fit you best. It's always good to do that, regardless :) I hope everything will work out for you! Good luck!

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