Did I tell my parents the right thing? Very long story. Please read though :)
My husband is 26 and I'm 21. We got married in May 2010 We have a house,car,dog, hubby has a job makes 56k/year. We are very frugal,coupon and spend money wisely. We have no debt either. Anyways we've been TTC for a while and hubbies parents are very excited to have a baby otw in the near future and my mom always asks where's my grandbabies. My dad on the other hand we never talk about babies, he doesn't wanna be a grandpa anytime soon. So I had surgery for endometriosis and blocked tubes last week and my dad came to visit me this weekend, and my mom and cousin were also here visiting. My mom said in front of my dad that my dr wants me to get prego stay prego breastfeed and he doesn't wanna see me til I'm done having kids and have a hysterectomy. My dad seemed uncomfortable and I said my dad thinks he's to young to be a grand dad. My dad didn't say much. Then my cousin said I'm glad you had the surgery and hopefully we'll have another baby otw soon in the family. Well after my dad left he texted me later that night and said "It's not that I think I'm too young to be a grand dad, I think 21 is way too young to have a baby, I think you should either get a job or go to school, own a car not just making payments you and Chris can't afford a baby right now you should wait" This really upset me because we've been dealing with infertility for almost 2 years. So I told my mom about it and she totally flipped out on me and was like well I see where he's coming from we don't wanna see ya'll struggle like we had too with you, you have to pay for diapers,formula,day care,etc and ya'll can't afford it. That really pissed me off cause my mom is always asking where her grandbabies are! I was so stressed out I just had surgery and I deal with infertility and my mom yelling at me wasn't helping. Anyways the next day I talked to my MIL and she said that it's so much better to have kids in your lower 20s than upper 20s that she could tell a huge difference when she had a baby at 23 and at 28 and 23 was much easier. She also said we can afford it, she said when me and my husband had kids we were only making 27k and was a SAHM and we had a house and had 3 kids and were able to afford and provide a comfortable life for all of them. She also said me and Chris are gonna make great parents and to not listen to my parents and also not everyone is meant to have a career and staying at home is just fine. I felt alot better after that so anyways later that night I texted both my mom and dad almost the same message but a little different for my mom and this is what I said " Look I really don't appreciate you saying we shouldn't have a baby, Chris and I are adults and married we make our own decisions,we don't need advice on how to live our life, if we need advice we would ask for it but you have to realize were grownup i understand your concerns but this is our life we have to make our own decisions and learn(and then I explained to them what my MIL said) I will always be your daughter and love you but please respect that I'm an adult and make my own choices and please don't give me advice unless if i ask for it." My dad said OK and my mom said Yes dear we both support you guys with whatever choice you make we just don't want you to struggle is all. Anyways what do you think of all this please no bashing just wanna know if I chose the right words, I tried to say stuff the most nicest way.