Today I woke up feeling good, and excited because of the thought of ttc again and our family etc.
Then my dh and I started horsing around (not sexually) he grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of me (I'm a photographer of newborns, so I never take photos of myself) and I knew I was overweight being 5'6 and weighing 224-225 and just never thought I looked all that bad until I saw the photos he took, and I intantly got disgusted with myself and how AWFUL I look. I started crying and just am so annoyed that after having my son I can't lose the weight. I have thyroid problems, blood clotting issues, and a blood disorder so losing weight has been rough and when I was in highschool I had a eating disorder and NEVER wanted to be this big, and here I am stuck in the middle of it, and I feel like i'm drowning. I'm so discouraged :(
Also, keep in mind that we are our worst critic. I hate looking at photos of myself, no matter what. I criticize every little flaw, from wrinkles to teeth to whatever else.
Quoting eesmommy:
Did you know that skinny girls have body issues too? I have little boobs I am 5'6" and wiegh 132 lb but sometimes my stomach looks bloated, and when I lay flat my ribs poke out weirdly, and no my thighs arent fat rally, but my knees look.fat to ME. M dh asked me why I even care? If he loves me and. finds me blazing hot, then what do I care about these things? He loved me when I was 115 lb he loved me when I was 148 Lb he loved me with a huge pregnant belly and he loves me now. His onky concern is that I am healthy, and happy. Do what you need to do medically but love your body amd embraslce your curves and enjoy your hubby, its you he comes home to and makes love to not some skinny, underweight, unhealthy airbrushed fake model.
^^^This^^^^ We all have our own body issues honey. Don't get too down about it. Take charge by first seeing a doctor about your thyroid issues, then maybe start a fun diet/exercise regime---and see if DH wants to join you! My DF and I recently made a bet/challenge on who will be the first to lose 5lbs. The loser has to pick up the dog poo in the yard (we have a 90lb. German Shepherd! Eeeek! LOL) and scoop the cat's litter box for 2 weeks. ;-)
I do have my thyroid checked regularly, it's always off, either to high or to low, they can never get it to regulate. It's been like that for years. I love all your comments, and really appreciate all the adivce. I have to try some low matinece(sp) exersise programs, because of my blood clots I can't do to much which hurts the losing weight part as well.
What is the 7 day juicing cleanse? I have never heard of that
Thank you again so much
I am 5'6" also and in January, I hit my adult heaviest at 190 pounds. I didn't realize how bad it got until I couldn't fit into my size 14 jeans and struggled into a size 16. I too had a point when I saw a photo of myself and it made me cry hysterically. My DH was constantly telling me things like, "I love you no matter how much you weigh", "You look beautiful to me", "You aren't fat", etc. and it had lulled me into a false sense of security.
I ended up joining a local weight loss challenge at a gym. I had my metabolism tested, got my measurements taken, got a personalized weight loss diet, and started in a group fitness class three times a week. Everyone in the group had a similar problem and we all were striving towards the goal of losing weight. Our trainer was super supportive and always chanted, "It's not about the numbers on the scale! Live better, feel better!" It really annoyed me for the first few weeks and then I really understood what he was saying. Once I embraced the notion that it's not about the number of the scale, it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I ended up losing 25 pounds and 20 inches in 4 months. And I even ran a half marathon last month after never being able to run from my front door to my car without panting.
I look and feel like a brand new person but there are still days when I over indulge in ice cream and expect to not fit into my jeans in the morning. I still look into the mirror and see my bigger self. There are still things I can't stand like my knees, my tummy, and my chubby cheeks. I'm not sure these feelings of picking apart my apperance will ever go away but what I cling to is that I feel SO much better. It took months of pain, torture, and an annoyingly positive trainer but I do feel better.
Weight takes time to build up so it's safe to assume that it takes a while to come off! Don't be discouraged that it's not falling off, just keep moving towards your goal with a positive attitude. Things will get better and you will feel better, just stay positive! Good luck and be well!
(sorry this was such a lengthy response!)
I too am overweight and about 5'1, my weight has fluctuated throughout the years but, no matter how much I gain or lose, when I look at my self in the mirror, I always tell myself how beautiful I am. Of course, I would like to improve some areas but, overall, I love me. I recently started exercising for about an hour a day to help with those improvements. I've read that this should also help me and DH TTC. When you look at yourself, tell yourself how much you love yourself and because you love yourself so much, you can and will be able to change the things about yourself you may not love as much.
Morning Sickness or the Flu?
- ageel2012
on Jun. 18, 2012 at 9:36 AM