My heart breaks for us women who have been trying so long for our precious babies. I feel your pain along with mine as I watch new BFP posts, as friends, relatives, & aquaintances share that they are pregnant (whether wanted or not, jealousy exists), as another stupid person abuses their children. Our hearts simply feel as if they might break in two. I have started a journal as if I'm writing letters to my child. Sometimes it helps and i write pages and pages. Sometimes it hurts and I can't pick it up for days.
With every day that passes, i feel my clock is ticking. It is going to be another long month on birth control as my dr attempts to control my PCOS. For the moment, the pain is gone. Which I am thankful for. But there's little to zero hope of getting pregnant on birth control. I've been hoping i could be the less than point one percent who could, but that's just silly, isn't it?
My DH's kids came over for a visit, and the rate they warmed to me blew my mind. While we were in the floor playing, his little girl grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes, and everything melted away but that moment.
Then there's the moments when I'm sick in the morning, or my boobs hurt, and I actually let myself think I could be pregnant. I wait the minutes after I peed on the stick, an eternity. the moments where hope preludes disappointment; I live for those.
what gives you hope? what helps you through your journey?