felt like sharing (long).. GRAPHIC PIC (WARNING)
Started ttc april of 2011.. We had the iud, and took it out the beg. Of april. Three months went by with no bfp.. We were so upset so july came around, we only bd once.. I actually forgot about ttc because we were out of town visiting family. Aug 7th of 2011, my DH's parents were visiting us, we were leaving dinner and dh jokingly said "hey mom,stephs preg" at this time we were a day early from af.. The next day we tested and bfp!!!!we were so excited!, we couldn't believe it! I told dh he jinxed us and it was a good jinx!!! went in for a u/s a week later and they saw a sac but didnt see or hear the heart beat.doctor said could still be to early.. 5days later we went back and really saw the sac but the heart beat was not there... He asked me if i knew i was bleeding and i had no clue. He told me what to expect in the next 48 hrs... I actually caught the baby in my hand.. He told me to freeze it and sent the baby to do an autopsy... I was devastated...holding a baby, looking at it seeing life, just broke my heart, broke into pieces.. A week went by and i thought we were going to be okay... I was sitting at church, praying, and talking about our study groups when i doubled over in pain. I don't even know how i got to the hospital.. They were running tests and tests, and couldn't find a baby but levels were still up.. They finally rushed me to the OR, where they opened me up to figure out what was wrong.. The baby was already in my tube growing, they took pictures, i saw the head the body, everything, i lost a lot of blood.. When i woke up i just remember crying for our baby... I was in dis belief. Surgery was painful, one week went by and it seemed like forever... Till this day, one tube later we are trying for our rainbow baby.. I'm so grateful too be alive, and breathing.. I love my kids and family so much, we all just feel we want our babies back..its hard too think i had them and saw them just couldnt keep them.. I was 2 months with the first mc and 2.5 months with the ectopic.. Thank you for reading, hopefully you all can give me advise... I'm on my 4th round of clomid.. And hoping a lot of bding will help us. Gl to all you wonderful ladies!!!