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TTC - Trying to Conceive TTC - Trying to Conceive

What's your definition of....

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:47 AM
  • 98 Replies

being able to afford a baby??? I see a lot of posts on CM (not just in this group) about having to wait until their next check to buy a pregnancy test and I wonder if they feel they can afford a baby.

My definition is that I am able to provide for them without worry, I'm not living check to check, I can afford to take them places and do things with them whenever I feel like it, I can buy them whatever they need (not want) at any time, I don't have to worry that the food bill is going to break the bank, etc.... No kids may not need some of these things to feel loved and I get that. My issue is that love is not what's feeding the child.. it's your ability to provide that's feeding and clothing them.

If I couldn't afford a $12 test then I definitely couldn't afford the needs of a baby. Let face it kids are expensive no matter how you look at it. Now I'm not speaking to anyone on here specifically. I don't keep up with everyone's story on here. And the few that I do follow don't seem to have this problem. Yes there will never seem to be a "right" time to have a baby for most people BUT is there a "wrong" time??

So I ask again.. What is your personal definition of being able to afford a child??

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NoraDun
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:58 AM
6 moms liked this

I do kinda chuckle when people say they can't buy a test, but only because I know you can find some from .88cent to $4 which should be pretty affordable.

HOWEVER I do not believe that everyone has to be rich, or never have to worry about money in order to have a baby. I think babies really don't cost a lot of money, we just over spend on our children, along with everything else in this country. We are so spoiled as a country. A baby can co-sleep, breastfeed, and be cloth diapered practically for free. A carseat is a must but those aren't too expensive. I mean people think they have to have the perfect nursery, with all the millions of outfits the baby won't even get a chance to wear, with the swing, and the matching bouncer, and the rocker, and the craddle, and the playpen, etc etc etc. Those are things we want, that most babies won't even use. Lots of women without money issues like to look down on women who struggle but still want to have babies....(And I am not talking about ghetto folks who have babies and don't take care of them I am talking about women who love to be mothers, who put all their time and energy into wanting a baby, and carrying for that baby) But honestly I think anyone who can afford to put a roof over a child's head, clothe them, feed them, and most importantly love them, should have the opportunity. I think its wonderful you don't know what its like to live pay check to pay check, but don't look down on others because they do! They deserve to carry a child just as much as you do!

MrsLondon
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:16 AM

I didn't say I looked down on anyone. I certainly don't. I have lived paycheck to paycheck before. I'm not rich and I don't come from money. I don't spend extravagantly on my children. I only buy them clothing when it's on sale, I watch my budget, I don't buy them things they don't need unless they deserve it. 

I think you've missed the point here. Maybe a $4 test isn't something they can afford considering I'm sure they know how cheap tests are. I gave MY point of view and asked your's in return. Just because I don't agree with having a child if I can't afford to see if I am pregnant does not mean I am talking down to them. I stated MY view on how I gauge if I am able to afford a child.

I was a mother at 16 and in no way equipped financially or emotionally to have a child. I had no business having a child but I was irresponsible as most teens are and there I was with a baby. You don't know where I have come from to think that I am talking down to others. I would never do that and that is not what I did.

Quoting NoraDun:

I do kinda chuckle when people say they can't buy a test, but only because I know you can find some from .88cent to $4 which should be pretty affordable.

HOWEVER I do not believe that everyone has to be rich, or never have to worry about money in order to have a baby. I think babies really don't cost a lot of money, we just over spend on our children, along with everything else in this country. We are so spoiled as a country. A baby can co-sleep, breastfeed, and be cloth diapered practically for free. A carseat is a must but those aren't too expensive. I mean people think they have to have the perfect nursery, with all the millions of outfits the baby won't even get a chance to wear, with the swing, and the matching bouncer, and the rocker, and the craddle, and the playpen, etc etc etc. Those are things we want, that most babies won't even use. Lots of women without money issues like to look down on women who struggle but still want to have babies....(And I am not talking about ghetto folks who have babies and don't take care of them I am talking about women who love to be mothers, who put all their time and energy into wanting a baby, and carrying for that baby) But honestly I think anyone who can afford to put a roof over a child's head, clothe them, feed them, and most importantly love them, should have the opportunity. I think its wonderful you don't know what its like to live pay check to pay check, but don't look down on others because they do! They deserve to carry a child just as much as you do!


NoraDun
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Well all I did was also give my opinion. But you made this post to point out those who have made posts about not being able to afford pregnancy test, and I can think of a few of those people. So your pointing out someones hard times, to prove a point that maybe your more capable and able to raise a child then they are. I was hoping you would understand that, your post may be better in the cafemom mom confessions, that is where these type of posts come up. I just wanted to share that although I think some people shouldn't have kids based on just certain circumstances such as being a drug attack, alcoholic, selfish, whoring around, stuff like that. But I just don't think its our place to tell people whether or not they can afford or should afford a baby just because they can purchase a test during a particular cycle. You made the post, asking for opinions, but then you don't like mine because its not yours....definately try mom confessions!! Good Luck Sweetie, hope you get that BFP really really soon!

Quoting MrsLondon:

I didn't say I looked down on anyone. I certainly don't. I have lived paycheck to paycheck before. I'm not rich and I don't come from money. I don't spend extravagantly on my children. I only buy them clothing when it's on sale, I watch my budget, I don't buy them things they don't need unless they deserve it. 

I think you've missed the point here. Maybe a $4 test isn't something they can afford considering I'm sure they know how cheap tests are. I gave MY point of view and asked your's in return. Just because I don't agree with having a child if I can't afford to see if I am pregnant does not mean I am talking down to them. I stated MY view on how I gauge if I am able to afford a child.

I was a mother at 16 and in no way equipped financially or emotionally to have a child. I had no business having a child but I was irresponsible as most teens are and there I was with a baby. You don't know where I have come from to think that I am talking down to others. I would never do that and that is not what I did.

Quoting NoraDun:

I do kinda chuckle when people say they can't buy a test, but only because I know you can find some from .88cent to $4 which should be pretty affordable.

HOWEVER I do not believe that everyone has to be rich, or never have to worry about money in order to have a baby. I think babies really don't cost a lot of money, we just over spend on our children, along with everything else in this country. We are so spoiled as a country. A baby can co-sleep, breastfeed, and be cloth diapered practically for free. A carseat is a must but those aren't too expensive. I mean people think they have to have the perfect nursery, with all the millions of outfits the baby won't even get a chance to wear, with the swing, and the matching bouncer, and the rocker, and the craddle, and the playpen, etc etc etc. Those are things we want, that most babies won't even use. Lots of women without money issues like to look down on women who struggle but still want to have babies....(And I am not talking about ghetto folks who have babies and don't take care of them I am talking about women who love to be mothers, who put all their time and energy into wanting a baby, and carrying for that baby) But honestly I think anyone who can afford to put a roof over a child's head, clothe them, feed them, and most importantly love them, should have the opportunity. I think its wonderful you don't know what its like to live pay check to pay check, but don't look down on others because they do! They deserve to carry a child just as much as you do!



NoraDun
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

BUMP for more opinions like yours!

amy31308
by Ashlee on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I couldn't agree with you more.

It baffles me when people openly posts their situations that IMO are in no place ready to have a baby. I'm not saying they dont deserve the chance- but maybe work on getting to a better place before trying to throw a baby in the mix as well.

And no.. You dont need to be rich. But if you're living and depending with your parents then probably not the best time. If you can't afford a test, probably not the best time. If you can't pay the bills every month probably not the best time. If you're going to have to rely on the government, probably not the best time.

There is my two cents. I'm sure I'll get bashed for it as I have before. But children deserve to live in a home that basic needs are met.
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NoraDun
by Ruby Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:37 AM

And I don't argue that, I absolutel agree. I just also believe that one cant judge people based off of a post they make saying they can't pick up a pregnancy test today for whatever reason. I thought your theory was all about not judging?? I just think that is very judgmental for anyone to say. I personally have never been that down and out, but I know some DAMN good parents who lost everything when her Husband lost his job, that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve her baby that she just concieved. That just means God had a plan. You of all people I thought could understand God's plan goes over and beyond our own!!

Quoting amy31308:

I couldn't agree with you more.

It baffles me when people openly posts their situations that IMO are in no place ready to have a baby. I'm not saying they dont deserve the chance- but maybe work on getting to a better place before trying to throw a baby in the mix as well.

And no.. You dont need to be rich. But if you're living and depending with your parents then probably not the best time. If you can't afford a test, probably not the best time. If you can't pay the bills every month probably not the best time. If you're going to have to rely on the government, probably not the best time.

There is my two cents. I'm sure I'll get bashed for it as I have before. But children deserve to live in a home that basic needs are met.


MrsLondon
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:38 AM

You must be confused about something. So, because I gave my opinion of what MY standards are for MY OWN life.. I'm judgemental now?? I didn't tell anyone what THEY could not afford. I asked an opinion on what they feel like THEIR OWN STANDARD of being able to afford children is. I don't have a problem with your opinion and if you read my response you would notice that it was addressed to the fact that you said I looked down on someone. Not the fact that you didn't agree with what my PERSONAL definition was. I don't expect other people to agree with everything I said that's point of asking for your personal view is in case you didn't know.

I never said what they should or shouldn't do. You're delusional.

Quoting NoraDun:

Well all I did was also give my opinion. But you made this post to point out those who have made posts about not being able to afford pregnancy test, and I can think of a few of those people. So your pointing out someones hard times, to prove a point that maybe your more capable and able to raise a child then they are. I was hoping you would understand that, your post may be better in the cafemom mom confessions, that is where these type of posts come up. I just wanted to share that although I think some people shouldn't have kids based on just certain circumstances such as being a drug attack, alcoholic, selfish, whoring around, stuff like that. But I just don't think its our place to tell people whether or not they can afford or should afford a baby just because they can purchase a test during a particular cycle. You made the post, asking for opinions, but then you don't like mine because its not yours....definately try mom confessions!! Good Luck Sweetie, hope you get that BFP really really soon!

xtriciax
by tricia on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:39 AM
4 moms liked this

i dont believe when women say o i cant afford the test right now or ill ait till pay day to get the test doesnt necissarly mean they dont have $1 to get it. i have a dd (2 yr 5 months) and before having here we never had an extra dime to our name but with a child comes the growth of spending your money differently. my child has never been without food, diapers, or anything. but we still live paycheck to paycheck. we just buy her stuff first then our food, then bills, then we spend the rest on what we want. and when we have another child it will be the same thing. i was raised what you would concider "poor" my parents had 5 kids within 6 yrs and nothing we had was new. we took 2 family vacations my entire life. but i wouldnt cahnge the way i grew up for anything we were raised with tons of love and i couldnt imagine a happier childhood then what i had. 

HW614
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:39 AM
2 moms liked this

Agreed. Kids are expensive...even without all the 'unnecessary' baby equipment. Those babies grow, however, and they eat more, and go to school, and just cost more and more money, lol.

I totally get your point. No, you don't have to be rich, or even in a great place financially, but if you struggle to make ends meet or buy groceries, I don't think a baby is a wise decision at that time. A new baby brings stress to our lives and relationships anyway...can't imagine if the stress of struggling to feed and clothe that baby was added on top of that.

destiny2nv
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:40 AM
3 moms liked this
we struggle, sometimes its pay check to pay check, but our children are spoiled rotten lol we have everything we need, and want. If I was to wait for the "perfect " time, I would never have children . There's never going to be enough money or a perfect time, it might as well be now.


I can personally afford a test, and sometimes I do chuckle when I see some body ttc when they cannot afford test, but maybe they have the same perspective as me. idk who am I to judge ???
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