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Feeling Alone

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:02 PM
  • 12 Replies
DF and I have been TTC since November last year. It hasn't happened for us because we've had a few obstacles (his medicine had sexual side effects) but now that that's figured out and I feel confident that this our month, we have a new one.

I noticed that he seems completely devoid of emotion every time AF comes. While I'm sitting in the bathroom crying, he acts like he doesn't care. I'm not saying he's not sensitive towards my feelings about it, but it's like he doesn't care if I got pregnant or not. It feels like he's only doing this because I want it so badly.

He never shares his thoughts or opinions, and when I bring up the subject, he changes it. And when it comes to sex, he doesn't seem to realize that there's a very small window in which to conceive and he never wants it that week. Maybe once. But that hasn't worked for us.

I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him about it but he isn't really explaining what's on his mind. Just makes me sad...
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by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kaybri2012
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:10 PM
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I'm sorry, hun.  Sometimes men just don't understand how the body works and how hard it is on us when we don't get that bfp.  Is there other stuff going on that is stressing him out?  Maybe that is why he doesn't want to think about having a baby?  I hope that he opens up to you more and understand that in order to have a baby, you do need to have sex at the right time.  It isn't just any given moment like you learn in sex-ed! 

mutedsapphire
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM
I'm not sure. He did mention that he is already exhausted during the day with our 2 year old and he's worried about how much harder its going to be with another baby. He's a SAHD and I have school and work 6 days a week. But by the time we have a new baby, I will have graduated and have a job.

I've also explained to him about the fertile window and his only reply was that he can't help it if he doesn't want it.


Quoting kaybri2012:

I'm sorry, hun.  Sometimes men just don't understand how the body works and how hard it is on us when we don't get that bfp.  Is there other stuff going on that is stressing him out?  Maybe that is why he doesn't want to think about having a baby?  I hope that he opens up to you more and understand that in order to have a baby, you do need to have sex at the right time.  It isn't just any given moment like you learn in sex-ed! 

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rwcw89
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

my bf is sort of the same way, hes more tired and im more ready to go (we're a lil backwards). in his opinion *you can get pregnant anytime*...and whenever i try to explain...no you have a 1 - 2 day window, he doesn't believe me, even with the opk. i think we need to tie our guys down lol good luck!

kaybri2012
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:27 PM
I'm betting there is something more to it. Oh men. I just hope he does his part for you! I didn't even tell my dh when I ovulated. It saves the stress.
mutedsapphire
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:35 PM
We're the same way. Tying him down is starting to sound like a good idea lol

Quoting rwcw89:

my bf is sort of the same way, hes more tired and im more ready to go (we're a lil backwards). in his opinion *you can get pregnant anytime*...and whenever i try to explain...no you have a 1 - 2 day window, he doesn't believe me, even with the opk. i think we need to tie our guys down lol good luck!

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mutedsapphire
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm thinking I'm just not going to tell him either. Hopefully it will help.

Quoting kaybri2012:

I'm betting there is something more to it. Oh men. I just hope he does his part for you! I didn't even tell my dh when I ovulated. It saves the stress.
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rwcw89
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:41 AM
Lol now the. Question is. Rope oor handcuffs lol =) good luck. I actually talked too bf more. He said just try initiating it. So maybe start doing things to get him in the mood even when he believes he's too tired.

Quoting mutedsapphire:

We're the same way. Tying him down is starting to sound like a good idea lol



Quoting rwcw89:

my bf is sort of the same way, hes more tired and im more ready to go (we're a lil backwards). in his opinion *you can get pregnant anytime*...and whenever i try to explain...no you have a 1 - 2 day window, he doesn't believe me, even with the opk. i think we need to tie our guys down lol good luck!

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WOFFT
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 11:45 AM
You're not alone. My DH is sort of the same way. I think men just don't understand the effect TTC has on us. And sometimes they are not expressive of their feelings as we women are.
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mutedsapphire
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:47 PM

Yeah I guess so. He's not really the emotional type anyway. I just wish he could be a little more emotional about this.

Quoting WOFFT:

You're not alone. My DH is sort of the same way. I think men just don't understand the effect TTC has on us. And sometimes they are not expressive of their feelings as we women are.


mutedsapphire
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:49 PM

Hmmm, handcuffs! lol He used to tell me to try initiating, too, but I've been turned down enough times that I just don't think I can take the rejection anymore. Ah well, I'm just gonna talk to him again tonight and hope for the best! :)

Quoting rwcw89:

Lol now the. Question is. Rope oor handcuffs lol =) good luck. I actually talked too bf more. He said just try initiating it. So maybe start doing things to get him in the mood even when he believes he's too tired.

Quoting mutedsapphire:

We're the same way. Tying him down is starting to sound like a good idea lol



Quoting rwcw89:

my bf is sort of the same way, hes more tired and im more ready to go (we're a lil backwards). in his opinion *you can get pregnant anytime*...and whenever i try to explain...no you have a 1 - 2 day window, he doesn't believe me, even with the opk. i think we need to tie our guys down lol good luck!


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