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The Struggles of Infertility

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:34 PM
  • 10 Replies
I've been struggling with infertility for what seems like forever. Never even had a miscarriage, so I don't know if it's even possible for me to have a baby. My husband and I have been trying for over two years now. I always knew, in the back of my mind, that something might be wrong with me, but now I know for sure.

My husband and I have a very good relationship, and the only thing we ever seem to argue about is our infertility problems because it puts a lot of strain on our relationship. I feel like a failure as a woman because my body can't even do what it was made to. We've spent so much money on infertility treatments, and the hardest part is never knowing if they are even going to work.

My mom and I have never had a very good relationship (I made a promise to myself, if I ever do have a child, I will never treat my kids the way my mom has treated me), and my mom at one point found out that my husband and I were trying for a baby and having trouble. I am not lying when I say this, but my own mother made fun of me for this. Her and my brother would laugh about it, mostly behind my back, and say horrible things, like that I must be having trouble because I have "STDs" (which I don't).

My mom and I rarely ever talk anymore (not because of this, but for other reasons), but because of her judgment, I have always been hesitant about telling other people about my struggles with infertility. I have kept it all inside. Although over the last year or so, with more and more people asking my husband and I why we don't have kids, I have slowly become more open with it, but only telling people I trust. Even so, I still get responses that make me feel like people just don't understand. Often times, people will say, "oh, you're just trying too hard. Relax and it'll happen on its own." I am now 27 years old, and it has been years. I'm pretty sure "trying too hard" is not my problem. And I don't know what's worse. Keeping all these feelings and emotions bottled up inside, or expressing yourself to people who don't know what it's like or what you're going through.

It's even more frustrating when you don't have any answers as to why you're having trouble making a baby. My husband and I have been seeing a fertility specialist for exactly a year now, and they have found nothing out of the ordinary. After many blood tests, an HSG, sperm tests, and a couple ultra sounds, I'm still nowhere any closer to figuring out what is wrong. We have tried Clomid, Femara, a few IUIs, and a bunch of "home remedies" to boost fertility. Nothing has worked.

It's hard being a 27 year old woman, being the only person your age that doesn't have any kids. Seeing Facebook updates about people getting pregnant and trying "so hard for 3 months" is depressing. You watch shows like Teen Mom, where irresponsible teens have the blessing of having a child, while you, a responsible, married adult can't even do the same.

Nobody ever said life is fair, but I just want answers. Infertility is the biggest struggle I have ever had to deal with. I feel like I am running out of time, money, patience, and options. On Friday, I am talking to my doctor about setting up a laparoscopy appointment, to see if maybe I have endometriosis. It's a shot in the dark, but I'm willing to try anything at this point. I don't know if I will ever be able to afford IVF, so this is my last hope. Please pray for me. :(
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by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kaydence111
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Infertility is deff me all the way ! It seems I just can't get pregnant ! But I won't give up ! & the funny is that I have a baby , 2 yr old ! It was hard conceiving her as well til me and her father stopped trying & made it fun again ! all I know is that I'm not giving up & neither should u ;) good luck & baby dust
tiffluv81
by Tiffanie on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Let me relate at 100% with you I do not have children I have been trying to 10years. It is heart breaking to see others just having babies at my age and younger and I still struggle. I am 32 years old I have lost 4 pregnancies. I am so tired of trying at this point. I try to give up ttc but it still is depressing no matter how I look at it or over it. I can seem to get the thought of being babiless at 32.. I tried to talk to pastors, friends, and family no seems to understand because they didnt have any difficulties. I completely understand your feeling. Why me is all I keep askign over and over but yet no baby. People say adopt how will that make me feel better when I want to be pregnant and experience child birth complication free. Chin up soon one day will be our times it may not come when we want it but sure we will get it.

tiffluv81
by Tiffanie on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:16 PM

prayers going up and blessing poruing down..

KJ786
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you very much, I wish you the best, as well! :)


Quoting kaydence111:

Infertility is deff me all the way ! It seems I just can't get pregnant ! But I won't give up ! & the funny is that I have a baby , 2 yr old ! It was hard conceiving her as well til me and her father stopped trying & made it fun again ! all I know is that I'm not giving up & neither should u ;) good luck & baby dust

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KJ786
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:43 PM
You're right. I have tried to give up, too, but this is something that has an impact on your every day life, and you see things that are constant reminders every day, such as the simple sight of other people with their children. I would give anything to have that. I hope you and I both get our answers someday!


Quoting tiffluv81:

Let me relate at 100% with you I do not have children I have been trying to 10years. It is heart breaking to see others just having babies at my age and younger and I still struggle. I am 32 years old I have lost 4 pregnancies. I am so tired of trying at this point. I try to give up ttc but it still is depressing no matter how I look at it or over it. I can seem to get the thought of being babiless at 32.. I tried to talk to pastors, friends, and family no seems to understand because they didnt have any difficulties. I completely understand your feeling. Why me is all I keep askign over and over but yet no baby. People say adopt how will that make me feel better when I want to be pregnant and experience child birth complication free. Chin up soon one day will be our times it may not come when we want it but sure we will get it.


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KJ786
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I really appreciate that, thank you! :)


Quoting tiffluv81:

prayers going up and blessing poruing down..


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fdp-JJ
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:07 PM
The same here I don't have kids and my hubby wants one real bad I'm scared if I don't get prego soon he will leave we have been together four years and ttc for 2 I'm sad cuz we thought I was cuz I have missed my period for 35 days now but the hpt has been a BFN so don't give up and I want either..... good luck and baby duck to u all...
MommyAddie
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:52 PM
My thoughts are with you. I lived your same story, it took me 12 years to get pregnant even one time - of course I believed myself to be completely infertile. I now have a beautiful daughter and another on the way, as well as two beautiful daughters that I adopted 8 years ago. I went from being the most depressed woman, certain I would never have any children, to the luckiest mom in the world.

What I'm trying to tell you is just don't give up on yourself. You don't know what the future has for you and whatever it is, I hope it's wonderful. It's a very, very personal and private hell, but there are people out here who understand and will support you,
give advice, laugh and cry, whatever you need. Lots of hugs.
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uriahadel
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:01 PM
I just want to say I did have to struggle but not as long as you all. But I wanted to tell you that it took my parents two years if trying to conceive to actually conceive their first child and they went on to have 3 more children after that.

Sometimes it takes time but I know how frustrating and heartbreaking it is. Sometimes you have to just give it to God and start enjoying life again and usually that is when It will happen.

I hope all of you will get your bfp soon and have
The precious babies you want. There is always hope and I have no doubt that each and every one of you will be blessed with a baby.
DavonnaC
by Davonna on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:37 PM
I agree with everything you said. The only difference is I've lost one and I haven't been trying as long (6 cycles). I think one thing that's made me feel better was talking to my husband about how if we get to a year I'd like to start the adoption process. I'm one of those people that always like the idea of adoption tho. It makes me feel better knowing I have a plan or a goal or something. I'll be praying that you get your blessing soon :)
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