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Hubby was mean last night!!

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:04 AM
  • 12 Replies
When we lost the baby he told me "it's okay, we will try again". I made him promise that we'd try again. Well after my clomid we only had sex twice. Eod since I stopped it. And I don't temp or track so we should've yesterday. And haven't since Sunday. And I had that stretchy cm last night so I'm sure I'm gonna be out this month! Ugh! so I tell him last night "you know immaculate conception isn't real, you promised we were going to try again, and we aren't". His uncles wife had her baby yesterday and my friend did 2 weeks ago. And his sister was due a day after I was with my angel so she's still pregnant till July. So he says "this is why I wish we would've moved away already, so you weren't by all these freaking babies" . He was being crabby cause he had a bad day at work , so he was just being a jerk about it. I don't want a baby or a family because other people are having babies, I want a baby because I want a family! I lost my baby! It's been months! Ughhhh why the hell did I have to lose it! He says it'll happen when it's supposed to..... I feel so done.
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gods_gift_
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:09 AM
I feel the same way.My dh is getting cranky too If I'm out this month. I think I'll give up.
gods_gift_
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:09 AM
Sorry hopes everything works out for you
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:11 AM
This is my first month trying since my loss and he said multiple times we could try, I almost feel like he said it to make me feel better about losing my baby at the time. Which did a tiny bit but now he's not keeping that promise. He'll probably hurt me but I might try this morning. (He's sleeping and don't want up till later cause he doesn't have to be at work till 10.)

Quoting gods_gift_: I feel the same way.My dh is getting cranky too If I'm out this month. I think I'll give up.
gods_gift_
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:16 AM
1 mom liked this
Sorry about you lost. Sometimes husbands say things the don't mean. Hang in there honey! I know the feeling. Good Luck!
MrsA0625
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:24 AM
I'm sorry for your loss. I also understand your husbands stress. This is a lot of pressure for a man. They're not as vocal about it as women are but time is just as stressful on them because really their job in the TTC journey is bigger than ours. Just try to understand that he's just as stressed if not more stressed than you are.
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:45 AM
I don't know. It's upsetting. I just want to give up. But I don't ovulate on my own, so I can't just take a break and it magically happen without something helping me ovulate. And I can't stay on clomid forever and hope that we bd during my fertile week.

Quoting MrsA0625: I'm sorry for your loss. I also understand your husbands stress. This is a lot of pressure for a man. They're not as vocal about it as women are but time is just as stressful on them because really their job in the TTC journey is bigger than ours. Just try to understand that he's just as stressed if not more stressed than you are.
elmoslittlesist
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 7:50 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry about your loss..I've had 4 of them and a stillborn..

I notice you kept saying your baby, it wasn't just your baby and perhaps your husband is feeling down about the loss of this child?
Don't try so hard and don't make it a chore, it'll fail before it even gets to take off..Relax and enjoy each other..I have to agree with your hubby though that it'll happen when it's supposed to, mine took 5 years..
Best of luck ;-)
MrsA0625
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:06 AM
We finally quit trying, which I know is not possible in your case, it took so much pressure of my husband.

I know you're sad and it's really hard to see it from his point of view. But you really need to for it to work. Explain to him you understand it's stressing him out.

Try to find ways to make BDing fun and spicey, so it doesn't feel like a second or third job. That might help.

Quoting Dannimarie418: I don't know. It's upsetting. I just want to give up. But I don't ovulate on my own, so I can't just take a break and it magically happen without something helping me ovulate. And I can't stay on clomid forever and hope that we bd during my fertile week.

Quoting MrsA0625: I'm sorry for your loss. I also understand your husbands stress. This is a lot of pressure for a man. They're not as vocal about it as women are but time is just as stressful on them because really their job in the TTC journey is bigger than ours. Just try to understand that he's just as stressed if not more stressed than you are.
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:12 AM
He don't talk about his feelings or thoughts which sucks. But I said my baby one day infront of him, and he said "our?!?" I think he only said it cause he had a few shots of jack in him. I don't mean it in a bad way or even do it on purpose. I know he cares. Well after that I know he does. 3 1/2 years to get pregnant last time, weren't actively trying. But not , not trying. Got pregnant when my ob did my labs and seen my progesterone was extremely low, out me on provera and clomid , and boom happened that month. Now it's going on 4 years, 1 loss, and still kind of trying. I feel like it won't happen when it wants cause you can only do limited rounds of clomid. If he was a talker I wouldn't have this problem. I just want to be on the same page.

Quoting elmoslittlesist: I'm sorry about your loss..I've had 4 of them and a stillborn..

I notice you kept saying your baby, it wasn't just your baby and perhaps your husband is feeling down about the loss of this child?
Don't try so hard and don't make it a chore, it'll fail before it even gets to take off..Relax and enjoy each other..I have to agree with your hubby though that it'll happen when it's supposed to, mine took 5 years..
Best of luck ;-)
Dannimarie418
by Danielle on Apr. 3, 2014 at 9:17 AM
I never talked about actively trying until last night. I thought we were on the same page for trying again. But started to feel like we weren't, I try to do special things or fun things to make it fun , I never just say babe lets have sex. I have a drawer full of outfits. I go out on a limb to try things to initiate but if he's been at work all day he's a grump. He's miserable at his job and brings it home with him. I work all day and go to school at night and I'm tired and I work with doctors and patients all day so I'm usually stressed here but I don't take it out on him and I always have time for him. I feel stuck...

Quoting MrsA0625: We finally quit trying, which I know is not possible in your case, it took so much pressure of my husband.

I know you're sad and it's really hard to see it from his point of view. But you really need to for it to work. Explain to him you understand it's stressing him out.

Try to find ways to make BDing fun and spicey, so it doesn't feel like a second or third job. That might help.

Quoting Dannimarie418: I don't know. It's upsetting. I just want to give up. But I don't ovulate on my own, so I can't just take a break and it magically happen without something helping me ovulate. And I can't stay on clomid forever and hope that we bd during my fertile week.

Quoting MrsA0625: I'm sorry for your loss. I also understand your husbands stress. This is a lot of pressure for a man. They're not as vocal about it as women are but time is just as stressful on them because really their job in the TTC journey is bigger than ours. Just try to understand that he's just as stressed if not more stressed than you are.
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