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How do I get dh to talk to me? PIOG

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 10:28 PM
  • 3 Replies
We have 3 children already, two are from a previous relationship of mine and their father and I have shared custody so they spend 6 days with him and 8 days with me. We have a son together who will be 2 on Saturday. We haven't prevented another pregnancy since he was born (we struggled for 14 months to get pregnant and STAY pregnant with him), unless you count breastfeeding. I have some female hormone issues, causing my periods to be very difficult, to keep a long story short, and we started the Clomid pills to officially TTC again one year ago, we switched to Femara a few months ago. I have done more testing, dh did a sperm analysis and everything checks out fine. We just are not having any luck. The next step is IUI and DH isn't fully on board. I don't want to go through too much extra to get pregnant, since we already have 3, but we have both said we would like another one.

The problem is, if I am not on ovulation pills, I have bleeding/spotting for about 20 days a month. My dr and I have talked and have decided that if we are for sure done having kids, then she is okay with doing a partial hysterictomy (sp?).

So, I am trying to explain to DH, that I would like to try the IUI a few times this summer before I am comfortable with finally giving up and just doing the hysterictomy, however he thinks we should just keep doing everything the old fashion way and see if it happens, and every time I bring it up he gets upset and says he doesn't want to talk about it and that if I keep "shoving it down his throat" that he will just say forget the whole thing. At this point, I only bring it up whenever I get a new update from the DR. He doesn't realize we just can't keep trying forever because of my health issues and he doesn't seem to fully realize how much I suffer during my periods.

He is a great guy, I just can't get him to talk to me about this certain subject, I think he feels like he will be less of a man if he can't do it the old fashioned way.
by on May. 4, 2014 at 10:28 PM
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Replies (1-3):
GwenMB
by Gwen on May. 5, 2014 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried writing him a letter?  You could write about how your period affects you and why you'd like to continue the IUI route.

Maybe talk to him about how his attitude makes you feel.  That's kind of touchy, though, so you have to catch him in a good mood.

Maybe a couple sessions with a counselor would help, too.

tabitha117
by on May. 5, 2014 at 10:03 AM
My husband and I went through the same lack of communication during the TTC of our first child. It puts so much stress on a relationship. All of the scheduled intimate times, charting, ect. Maybe you guys should take a month or two off and then come back fresh from the stress. Get To Know Each Other Again Without TTC. Just my opinion. If the stress is high it's harder to get pregnant. IUI is still very strenuous on your body and still costs a lot of money.
addykarder19
by on May. 5, 2014 at 8:56 PM
Except we can't be intimate unless I'm taking ovulation meds.. Cause I will bleed non-stop.

I get what your saying, and it's a good idea, just isn't that easy unfortunately


Quoting tabitha117: My husband and I went through the same lack of communication during the TTC of our first child. It puts so much stress on a relationship. All of the scheduled intimate times, charting, ect. Maybe you guys should take a month or two off and then come back fresh from the stress. Get To Know Each Other Again Without TTC. Just my opinion. If the stress is high it's harder to get pregnant. IUI is still very strenuous on your body and still costs a lot of money.
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