Just feeling sorry for myself and need to rant
It's ok if you don't want to read this... I just need to get all my thoughts down before my head explodes.
I guess this is what I get for being cocky. I was so sure after using OPKs, temping, and tracking my cervix and all its doings, that I ovulated on cd 20. I called my OB and the PA said to go ahead and get blood drawn on cd 23 as planned because women on clomid ovulate on cd 14... So I got all high and mighty and asked if I could come in on a later date as well because I knew the first one would be negative/low.
Then my progesterone was 0.6 when I thought I was 3 dpo... I get that the peak wouldn't have happened, but if ovulation had occurred, shouldn't it have been at least like 2-3? So now I'm sure that I didn't ovulate at all even though my body was telling me I did. I'm afraid to go in for my redraw... It'll be low again and everyone will think I'm crazy and now I've had to pay for another lab draw.
My cervix was really firm and then softened A LOT. The day it softened, it finally dropped, but then it went back up. So now I've got this high soft cervix with milky to creamy cm and I've been having vague symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, nausea, aches and cramps in my lower belly and back... And I apparently didn't even ovulate.
I was so positive this month. I kept thinking "even if I don't get pregnant, at least I finally ovulated"... I guess this is what I get for getting my hopes up and thinking I was smarter than the PA. So much for knowing my own body.
I feel like my heart is breaking...
And I keep thinking "maybe I should wait until Monday to get my blood drawn"... but that's just prolonging the inevitable. I had expected to get my period next Saturday, but now idk what'll happen.
Guess it's time to make an appointment with an RE. After over a year of actively ttc and 6 months of dancing around waiting for my OB to make me ovulate... It's time.