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TTC - Trying to Conceive TTC - Trying to Conceive

Just feeling sorry for myself and need to rant

Posted by on May. 9, 2014 at 5:52 AM
  • 11 Replies
1 mom liked this

It's ok if you don't want to read this... I just need to get all my thoughts down before my head explodes.

I guess this is what I get for being cocky. I was so sure after using OPKs, temping, and tracking my cervix and all its doings, that I ovulated on cd 20. I called my OB and the PA said to go ahead and get blood drawn on cd 23 as planned because women on clomid ovulate on cd 14... So I got all high and mighty and asked if I could come in on a later date as well because I knew the first one would be negative/low.

Then my progesterone was 0.6 when I thought I was 3 dpo... I get that the peak wouldn't have happened, but if ovulation had occurred, shouldn't it have been at least like 2-3? So now I'm sure that I didn't ovulate at all even though my body was telling me I did. I'm afraid to go in for my redraw... It'll be low again and everyone will think I'm crazy and now I've had to pay for another lab draw.

My cervix was really firm and then softened A LOT. The day it softened, it finally dropped, but then it went back up. So now I've got this high soft cervix with milky to creamy cm and I've been having vague symptoms like dizziness, fatigue, nausea, aches and cramps in my lower belly and back... And I apparently didn't even ovulate.

I was so positive this month. I kept thinking "even if I don't get pregnant, at least I finally ovulated"... I guess this is what I get for getting my hopes up and thinking I was smarter than the PA. So much for knowing my own body.

I feel like my heart is breaking...

And I keep thinking "maybe I should wait until Monday to get my blood drawn"... but that's just prolonging the inevitable. I had expected to get my period next Saturday, but now idk what'll happen.

Guess it's time to make an appointment with an RE. After over a year of actively ttc and 6 months of dancing around waiting for my OB to make me ovulate... It's time.

by on May. 9, 2014 at 5:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tluvsd2
by TONI on May. 9, 2014 at 7:25 AM
1 mom liked this
IM OLDER BUT WE SAW AN RE LAST YEAR TRIED A FEW TREATMENTS SUCH A BIG DIFFERENCE FROM AN OB AND SOOO WORTH IT I HAD A CHEMICAL BUT STILL THEY CAN GO WAY BEYOND WHAT AN OB CAN DO DEF DEF CALL FIND A GOOD RE GET THAT APPT N CAUSE SOMETIMES IT CAN TAKE A LIL WHILE U WON'T REGRET IT OBS R GREAT BUT IF U NEED THAT EXTRA HELP RE IS WHR U SHOULD GO GOOD LUCK AND IM RIGHT THR WITH YA SO RANT AWAY LOL!
Mama.In.Waiting
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2014 at 7:42 AM

lol Thanks. Yeah. I'm tired of waiting around. It can take up to a year to get pregnant when you DO ovulate every month so for me to have wasted 8 months not ovulating on my own and then another 6 months not ovulating on clomid, I'm done messing around. It's time to start bringing out the big guns. I don't want to just have 1 baby. I want a big family. There's no time to dilly dally! lol

Quoting tluvsd2: IM OLDER BUT WE SAW AN RE LAST YEAR TRIED A FEW TREATMENTS SUCH A BIG DIFFERENCE FROM AN OB AND SOOO WORTH IT I HAD A CHEMICAL BUT STILL THEY CAN GO WAY BEYOND WHAT AN OB CAN DO DEF DEF CALL FIND A GOOD RE GET THAT APPT N CAUSE SOMETIMES IT CAN TAKE A LIL WHILE U WON'T REGRET IT OBS R GREAT BUT IF U NEED THAT EXTRA HELP RE IS WHR U SHOULD GO GOOD LUCK AND IM RIGHT THR WITH YA SO RANT AWAY LOL!


Heebie12
by Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:07 AM

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I can totally feel where you're at. My story is a lil bit different but pretty close.

DH and I have been trying for 8 months and NTNP for over a year. I switched my OBGYN a couple months ago after a less than stellar visit with another one a year ago and my primary continuallly telling me that I was still young. Anyway, my new OBGYN is very proactive and decided that it has been long enough and rather odd that we haven't even had an oops pregnancy. So she began running blood tests and I had an HSG done and Hubby had an SA. I had some not so stellar bloodwork results but was told that I could still get pregnant just that it may be a bit difficult. DH is fine his SA was perfect. My HSG was perfect so its just hormones or chemicals or whatever. IDK.

I had just started temping and was checking my cm and using fertility apps to log all my data. I had been told that many women get pregnant rather quickly after having an HSG so I was hopeful. DH and I were pretty busy and I was so hopeful for last month. Hell AF was even a week late and still BFN. Yea she showed up 8 days late. I was crushed cuz I had so many other symptoms as well.

We have an appointment with the RE in two weeks and the time just can't go by fast enough. I just want answers and a plan. Anyway, after last months kick to the gut I decided that I'm taking this month off. I am not charting anything and if we BD great but I'm not obssessing about it. I just feel like it's pointless if my hormones are out of whack and can't support a pregnancy or whatever. I'm just nervous that the RE will feel differently about my labs and that I'll be told that I can't have a baby or that we won't be able to afford treatment so that I can.

Point is that it can be stressful and you are not alone. I wish you all the luck.

ttc


kajira
by Emma on May. 9, 2014 at 8:10 AM

I can understand how you feel. I took almost 5 years to get pregnant with my daughter. :(

Oldforge001
by Krissy on May. 9, 2014 at 8:14 AM

Thats a bummer, keep your head up though, you arent out until af shows, so hopefully you did O and you get a sticky baby!!  I know how you feel though, I dont O on my own and I didnt find that out until after 10 months of trying with no luck, just finished 3rd round of clomid and get my trigger shot next friday!!  My OB is amazing and I feel blessed that he is so pro-active!  GL and FX'd!

Mama.In.Waiting
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I was told my initial lab work looked fine, but my LH was higher than my FSH (I believe this was when I was on a cd in the 80's or 90's) so on my own, my body basically sits in tww mode until my uterus says "I've had enough. Let's bleed"

I have been thinking about taking a cycle off. Maybe that's what I'll do while I try to get set up with an RE. I just feel like if I could just get an extra ultrasound and a trigger shot, I'd be good to go. My body revs up like it's going to ovulate and then I fail to lay the damn egg. My PA at my OB says they aren't able to provide treatment like that though and I have to see an RE for it. Idk...

Quoting Heebie12:

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I can totally feel where you're at. My story is a lil bit different but pretty close.

DH and I have been trying for 8 months and NTNP for over a year. I switched my OBGYN a couple months ago after a less than stellar visit with another one a year ago and my primary continuallly telling me that I was still young. Anyway, my new OBGYN is very proactive and decided that it has been long enough and rather odd that we haven't even had an oops pregnancy. So she began running blood tests and I had an HSG done and Hubby had an SA. I had some not so stellar bloodwork results but was told that I could still get pregnant just that it may be a bit difficult. DH is fine his SA was perfect. My HSG was perfect so its just hormones or chemicals or whatever. IDK.

I had just started temping and was checking my cm and using fertility apps to log all my data. I had been told that many women get pregnant rather quickly after having an HSG so I was hopeful. DH and I were pretty busy and I was so hopeful for last month. Hell AF was even a week late and still BFN. Yea she showed up 8 days late. I was crushed cuz I had so many other symptoms as well.

We have an appointment with the RE in two weeks and the time just can't go by fast enough. I just want answers and a plan. Anyway, after last months kick to the gut I decided that I'm taking this month off. I am not charting anything and if we BD great but I'm not obssessing about it. I just feel like it's pointless if my hormones are out of whack and can't support a pregnancy or whatever. I'm just nervous that the RE will feel differently about my labs and that I'll be told that I can't have a baby or that we won't be able to afford treatment so that I can.

Point is that it can be stressful and you are not alone. I wish you all the luck.

ttc


Mama.In.Waiting
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:46 AM

I'm sorry to hear that :( Congratulations on your little girl, though :) I keep telling myself no matter how long it takes, it'll be worth it when I get that baby... But I'm so afraid I'll be one who never gets a BFP...

Quoting kajira:

I can understand how you feel. I took almost 5 years to get pregnant with my daughter. :(


Mama.In.Waiting
by Bronze Member on May. 9, 2014 at 8:52 AM

I think all I need is a trigger shot. When I ask for the name of an RE I may also ask to talk to my actual doctor and verify that he can't order it for me.

Right now I'm just so nervous to go in to have blood drawn. I don't want the bad news... I don't know a lot about how progesterone works after ovulation, but I don't figure it'll go up much from 0.6 in just three days.

Quoting Oldforge001:

Thats a bummer, keep your head up though, you arent out until af shows, so hopefully you did O and you get a sticky baby!!  I know how you feel though, I dont O on my own and I didnt find that out until after 10 months of trying with no luck, just finished 3rd round of clomid and get my trigger shot next friday!!  My OB is amazing and I feel blessed that he is so pro-active!  GL and FX'd!


shay_porter
by Bronze Member on May. 10, 2014 at 1:18 PM

Awww don't be so hard on yourself. I know this ttc is hard...I have been trying for over 2years with no luck! I'm talking clomid opks basal temp vitamins standing on my head lol...all of it. And every month I tell myself yep this is the month and nope :( heart broken again. But hopefully this will give u a little hope, when I feel hopeless (often)I thinkbackto it myself. I have a daughter, she will be 4 in July, I tried 6 years to get pregnant before I finally got pregnant with her,on clomid is how she was conceived. Ik u may be thinking 6 years noooo that doesn't give hope lol. I'm just saying there is always hope no matter how long u have been trying and I wish u luck!!

Mama.In.Waiting
by Bronze Member on May. 11, 2014 at 7:47 AM
Yeah... 6 years for my first sounds awful, but it'd be better than not having one at all. I'm just so ready for this. I know how much work it is and I know it'll chance my life, but I want it. My temps are still all over the place so I know when I get the results back from my most recent blood work, it won't be good. I'm ready to talk to am RE and get serious about this. I've wasted too much time waiting for my OB's PA to make me ovulate. Time to take the next step. Thanks for your reply :) I hope you get your next baby much sooner than the first.

Quoting shay_porter:

Awww don't be so hard on yourself. I know this ttc is hard...I have been trying for over 2years with no luck! I'm talking clomid opks basal temp vitamins standing on my head lol...all of it. And every month I tell myself yep this is the month and nope :( heart broken again. But hopefully this will give u a little hope, when I feel hopeless (often)I thinkbackto it myself. I have a daughter, she will be 4 in July, I tried 6 years to get pregnant before I finally got pregnant with her,on clomid is how she was conceived. Ik u may be thinking 6 years noooo that doesn't give hope lol. I'm just saying there is always hope no matter how long u have been trying and I wish u luck!!

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