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I'm done I cant handle this anymore

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:15 AM
  • 13 Replies

 I am now three weeks late for AF my breast have been leaking which never happened before. I just got the test results back & all of my blood work came back normal & a BFN. I am sad, hurt, upset & angry right now. My body has been on track for about 2 years now and then all of a sudden it wants to take a dive on me. I can't handle the false hopes and dreams anymore. That's all this is.....is a dream that probably wont come true for me anyways. We might end up getting a SA done on DH but that is probably the most I am willing to do right now. My insurance does not conver anything with TTCing and we don't have the finances to cover it ourselves. If AF just would have showed up everything would have been fine, but I guess it is just not ment to happen. Everything happens for a reason right? I have always said when I had my second child I did not want to have a planned baby......so maybe I cursed myself long ago.

You ladies have been great & I have gotten alot of great advice from you all since I have been on here, but I'm thinking I am going to leave this group for a while becuase I need a break. I need to stop looking up all this ttc stuff and stop talking about it. Congrats to everyone who got their BFPs this month!!! I am very happy for you all!! Sending LOTS of baby dust to everyone else :) GL ladies!!!

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kieee
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:32 AM
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hugs I know it's hard and sometime's a break is needed. I don't know your story but i know it's hard to see people get their bfp(even if we are happy for them) and we keep hoping for our's.3 people i know told me they where pregnant with in a week's time and i swear i almost lost my mind.One was a close friend (i'm happy for her) but when she told me i just burst into tear's...she thought they where happy tears,they where not, bc i was thinking why not me?It's been 3 year's ttc and she was only trying for two month's.Hug's

Heart4family
by Irene on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:45 AM

 Its been getting easier seeing other BFPs, but I do have my moments when I ask why can't that be me? The hardest one was when a girl I talk to was not trying until I said my DH & I was ttcing then all of a suden she was ttcing to. About a month later she texted me a picture of her BFP! I threw my phone that day lol. My DH and I have been trying for 3 years and we took a break and started back up again in March. AF was on time every month and everything was going good then all of a suden AF was late in March then I got it two weeks later. Missed AF in April and May only to get BFNs. Doctor put me on Provera to start AF. June 4th I started and have not had one since then. Maybe I just need to take a break and not think about ttcing (a lot easier said than done). Thank you so much for your kind words!!

hypersquirrel
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:57 AM
1 mom liked this
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry for your heartache. gl to you.
Diamonds62009
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this

trust me i know how you feel me and dh have been ttc #1 for 6 1/2 yrs with 1 miscarriage and sometimes it gets hard seeing other BFPs but i think to myself one day that will be me again sharing my BFP.. Have you talked to you gyn about giving you provera to induce AF?  I have PCOS so i dont get my period or ovulate on my own unless I get provera for AF and clomid for ovulation.. i wish you the best of luck hugzz

Heart4family
by Irene on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:27 PM

 Thank you for your kind words...it means a lot.

I taken Provera in May to induce AF since I did not have a cycle since March. They want me to get the HSG test first before they will give me Clomid because I had an IUD in place after I had my dd that caused me to have PID (ob doctor said it might not even been PID since the ER likes to say everyone has PID). I am going to try to see if I can get clomid without doing the test or even fermera (sp?). This last cycle I was still getting +OPKs two/three weeks after I had my first + I stopped testing after that. So maybe I never did ovulate?

Quoting Diamonds62009:

trust me i know how you feel me and dh have been ttc #1 for 6 1/2 yrs with 1 miscarriage and sometimes it gets hard seeing other BFPs but i think to myself one day that will be me again sharing my BFP.. Have you talked to you gyn about giving you provera to induce AF?  I have PCOS so i dont get my period or ovulate on my own unless I get provera for AF and clomid for ovulation.. i wish you the best of luck hugzz

 

kajira
by Emma on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:35 PM

It took me almost 5 years trying for my last baby, then 2 1/2 years for a set of twins, where one ended up not making it.... I want to be pregnant again, I got jipped out of a full pregnancy with my twins as I gave birth at 24 weeks and I still don't have my living baby home yet and no end date in site on when he might come home because he was born so early they are predicting weeks and weeks AFTER his due-date (and his due date is in about 2 weeks.)

And I know given my history of infertility, it may take me *years* to get pregnant and lots of medical intervention. I understand the pain you are talking about, knowing that the line on the test will come up negative, having your body not work right. 


What I will say is I didn't have good luck with clomid - but Femera is what finally allowed me to concieve my twins.

Heart4family
by Irene on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:52 PM

 Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sorry for your loss. I seen a few of your post and your lil one is a cutie. You are a very strong women & I admire you for that! 3 years is nothing to your 5 years of trying. I have two children ds(11) dd (10 soon) and they both were not planned but not prevented. In a way since it was so easy to conceive them part of me was thinking having another one would be easy. But I do have to take into consideration my children are not my DHs and he does not have any bio-children. Also since I had my youngest I was on several different birth controls so who knows how bad I messed up my body. If I would have known then what I know now I would had done things way differently.

Quoting kajira:

It took me almost 5 years trying for my last baby, then 2 1/2 years for a set of twins, where one ended up not making it.... I want to be pregnant again, I got jipped out of a full pregnancy with my twins as I gave birth at 24 weeks and I still don't have my living baby home yet and no end date in site on when he might come home because he was born so early they are predicting weeks and weeks AFTER his due-date (and his due date is in about 2 weeks.)

And I know given my history of infertility, it may take me *years* to get pregnant and lots of medical intervention. I understand the pain you are talking about, knowing that the line on the test will come up negative, having your body not work right. 

 

What I will say is I didn't have good luck with clomid - but Femera is what finally allowed me to concieve my twins.

 

kajira
by Emma on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:59 PM

It's hard and birth control definitely can screw stuff up.

I would consider maybe doing progesterone every 3 1/2 weeks for 7-10 days to regulate your cycle with out supressing your ovulation. It's kind of like doing the opposite of birth control

Quoting Heart4family:

 Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sorry for your loss. I seen a few of your post and your lil one is a cutie. You are a very strong women & I admire you for that! 3 years is nothing to your 5 years of trying. I have two children ds(11) dd (10 soon) and they both were not planned but not prevented. In a way since it was so easy to conceive them part of me was thinking having another one would be easy. But I do have to take into consideration my children are not my DHs and he does not have any bio-children. Also since I had my youngest I was on several different birth controls so who knows how bad I messed up my body. If I would have known then what I know now I would had done things way differently.

Quoting kajira:

It took me almost 5 years trying for my last baby, then 2 1/2 years for a set of twins, where one ended up not making it.... I want to be pregnant again, I got jipped out of a full pregnancy with my twins as I gave birth at 24 weeks and I still don't have my living baby home yet and no end date in site on when he might come home because he was born so early they are predicting weeks and weeks AFTER his due-date (and his due date is in about 2 weeks.)

And I know given my history of infertility, it may take me *years* to get pregnant and lots of medical intervention. I understand the pain you are talking about, knowing that the line on the test will come up negative, having your body not work right. 


What I will say is I didn't have good luck with clomid - but Femera is what finally allowed me to concieve my twins.

 


Diamonds62009
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:04 PM

You could have geared up to ovulate but didnt the first time when was the last positive you had when you stopped testing? you could have o'd late this cycle 

Quoting Heart4family:

 Thank you for your kind words...it means a lot.

I taken Provera in May to induce AF since I did not have a cycle since March. They want me to get the HSG test first before they will give me Clomid because I had an IUD in place after I had my dd that caused me to have PID (ob doctor said it might not even been PID since the ER likes to say everyone has PID). I am going to try to see if I can get clomid without doing the test or even fermera (sp?). This last cycle I was still getting +OPKs two/three weeks after I had my first + I stopped testing after that. So maybe I never did ovulate?

Quoting Diamonds62009:

trust me i know how you feel me and dh have been ttc #1 for 6 1/2 yrs with 1 miscarriage and sometimes it gets hard seeing other BFPs but i think to myself one day that will be me again sharing my BFP.. Have you talked to you gyn about giving you provera to induce AF?  I have PCOS so i dont get my period or ovulate on my own unless I get provera for AF and clomid for ovulation.. i wish you the best of luck hugzz

 


MAB4385
by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 1:08 PM

I don't have enough to words to express how sorry I am that you are having so many difficulties. Maybe a bit of a break from the message boards and all the research I am sure you are doing will help. Right now it just seems to add stress. I know I will sound like a new age hippie here, but try fitting in some time to meditate or something that can channel all your thoughts. Maybe even some fun type of work out like step or Zumba. I am going to try Zumba out (in my living room, not around people) to try and destress and I have to loss some weight anyway. Also, go get a nice aroma therapy massage. Those are great for reducing stress. I wish I had the money to do that right now. Since I started TTC, my AF has decided to mess up all over the place and I was regular before I started trying. I wish you the best of luck, and try not to give up hope!

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