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**thank you update** i wish i had a skinny friend.... (off topic vent, but deals with ttc) long-sorry

Posted by on May. 17, 2015 at 2:16 AM
  • 21 Replies

***Oh my gosh. Thank you all oh so much for your stories! I was not expecting this many comments. You have made me feel so much better! Wednesday was the first time I weighed myself (and even this was at a doctors) in 4 months (the last time I was weighed at a doctors). I dont own a scale because the number does not matter to me. Only how "in shape" I am, and that, I am far from currently. Thank you for letting me know that it really is ok for me to get healthy and fit, even though I am ttc (even though deep down I knew it was, it really hurt being told it wasnt).

The only junk food left in my house is cocoa pebbles, and I might just throw them out if none of my friends want it. And I do not plan on buying anymore junk food. Since I have quit my job to be a stay at home mom, money is low, so cannot be spent on that stuff anyways. I have a really hard time not eating junk food if it is in the house, so, my husband will not be having any either.

I was going to do the 30 day ab challenge, but will be looking into the workout staciF provided me. I just want to be comfortable with myself again. if I get pregnant before then, oh well, I will be delighted! But I will not be just "letting myself go" anymore, especially just because my friends are rude when it comes to weight.

Again, thank you all so much!**

 

 

I have never had a skinny friend. They all have been larger than me. most obese. Up until 3 years ago, I was never heavier than 135. Always stayed a healthy weight. Always active. Then I met my husband and everything changed. The heaviest I have been is 155 (not pregnant), so still, never obese. I have always been comfortable with how I look, until a week ago....

After my son, I dropped down to 125 pounds doing nothing but breastfeeding. It was exciting. We stopped, I switched jobs and no longer had an active one, and I am now 143 (as of last wednesday). This number, I am fine with. However, how I look, I am not.

All of my shirts are super tight around the boobs, I no longer can clasp my bras on the middle hook, let alone the tightest (which I did on my strapless to make sure it was secure). And it is not due to my boobs being larger. I actually have a roll around my bra strap. By boobs are still too small for a B cup, barely filling my As.

And because of this cursed family belly, and my completely untoned stomache, I look 3 months pregnant all the time now. And when I am bloated.... 4 months easily. its much harder and rounder.

All of my pants still fit me fine, but, I think that is due to not buying smaller pants for when I got smaller. But still,I am completely happy with my pant size.

I was venting to a friend today (very obese) about my new rolls, and of course, like every friend I have had, made me feel bad for being skinny. Why do I have to feel bad for not being obese? For my height I am concidered overweight. 130 is the hiest healthy weight. I am not looking to drop back down to my 125 pounds before getting pregnant, again, the number doesnt bother me at all, I simply want to tone my stomach a little, and lose (though I have no idea how) this back roll by my bra, just so my shirts fit again.

She even went as far as telling me, if I drop even 5 pounds I wont be able to concieve because I will be too skinny. Since when does being healthy and fit make it hard to conceive? She said "people with flat stomaches cant get pregnant because there is no room for the baby to grow".

Now, if I were pregnant right now, the way I look, would not be an issue. I would continue trying to be heathy, but would not be trying to lose weight or whatever. But I am not pregnant, and I also know, that realistically, it could be a year before I get pregnant (or longer), so why should I have to stay looking like this? Will toning my stomache really make it harder to conceive? will losing 5 pounds really make my stomache too flat to carry a baby?

I am tired of fighting every morning trying to find an outfit that doesnt make me look 3 months pregnant. My entire life I have been a girl that throws on one outfit and walks through the door, but this last week I try on 10+ outfits. I just bought a new wardrobe 2 months ago, I dont want to buy another just because I gained weight from stupidity. :/

I just feel like a skinny person, instead of putting me down for wanting to keep myself fit and healthy, would support me and help me.... but maybe I am wrong, since I have never had a skinny friend.

by on May. 17, 2015 at 2:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ttcishardtodo
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 6:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Did she not hear of that model that went her entire pregnancy with a 6 pack?! Your body is designed to grow to accommodate a baby. Obese women (including myself) don't usually grow to have that beautiful round baby bump. I could care less what I look like as long as my child is healthy and growing. Be healthy all you want and feel comfortable in your skin.
TJandKarasMom
by Debbie on May. 17, 2015 at 8:12 AM
2 moms liked this
I weighed 89 pounds when I got pregnant with DS (I am 4'11" for some perspective). I had a flat stomach. I gained over 40 pounds with him and he was a perfectly healthy baby.

Now I am 13 years older and weigh 125. I am much healthier and more comfortable with myself. But I do hate the belly rolls and the line across my stomach after sitting. The muffin top. I don't care enough to do much about it, but I still don't like it.

I've always had to be careful what I say in front of certain friends because they don't get that you can be thinner and still uncomfortable or unhappy about your body. I don't think weight matters so much as being happy with yourself. I weigh myself like 3x a year, we don't even have a scale anymore because I had weight issues I didn't want to pass on to my SD.

Exercising and eating healthy will not make it harder to conceive. You may lose the belly you worked for ;) but some things are worth it.
StaciF
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:41 AM

this is kind of related to what you are saying - i'm the same size/shape as you it sounds like.  at my thinnest i'm 125 - i had twins (babies 5&6) 6 months ago and I can't shake the weight so far - I'm 146ish and I loathe it.  I'm even solely breastfeeding them but the weight isn't going anywhere.  All this to say - have you checked to see if your abdominal muscles are apart?  This is the first pregnancy mine didn't go back together after I had the babies so I look bigger than I am - especially after I eat because your stomach pushes out and your ab muscles are separated and bulge.  I've been doing special exercises to help pull them back together and without losing any weight I look smaller and shirts fit better. 

Anyhow - I understand what you are saying.  I have the same struggles and feel bad sometmes because at the end of the day I am still "skinny" just not skinny to me.

tuckermum
by Crysta on May. 17, 2015 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Yay for you wanting to get healthy!! :)
I am 5'5 when I got pregnant with ds I was 111lbs. I gained 35lbs. I am 108 now. I have a flat belly but Id love to get toned along with my butt and thighs. People can be so rude.
My first pregnancy ended in a m/c. I had a girl actually tell me the reason my baby died was because I was to skinny. It was ridiculous.

My mom is about 5'6 and was a 100 lbs when she got pregnant with my sister. She was probably only a few pounds heavier with me.
JCplus1
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I use to do pole classes.

My teacher would tell the skinny girls with rolls, (when they were claiming about their body's). "Event if you are skinny doesn't mean you can't be fat".

Your body can create fat at any size.

I'm at my heaviest now 170, from an injury and I have been up and down with my weight ever since (use to be 150- and happy)

Have you tried sit up, side crunches, burpees, jumping jacks, running on the spot, squats, etc etc etc?? I do this stuff during commercial breaks
MeganSB
by Megan on May. 17, 2015 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this
I was 100lbs soaking wet ( my family lived to say) when I got pregnant with both my DDs gained 50ish lbs with both, lost it to breastfeeding. Then almost 4 years ago I quit smoking and wanted to gain a little weight to be healthier. Well I gained 40lbs. A friend of mine talked to me about a diet she was doing that is kind of easy for two weeks. Cut out all carbohydrates; bread pasta potatos etc. Cut out all sugar, and no fruit(or wine) as it has sugar. I lost 7lbs in 3 days by the end of the two weeks I was down to 125lbs. Now I eat those things again, but I'm very cautious as to how much. If we have spaghetti one night I put my sauce on steamed broccoli ( which is really good!) so now my weight fluctuates between 125-130 depending on how much carbs I eat....
bananas2u
by Member on May. 17, 2015 at 10:57 AM
I have no idea. I had a csection with my son. Was in a lot a pain.... Excruciating pain... For 5 weeks afterwords. If I used my stomach muscles at all, I was in tears. So maybe?



Quoting StaciF:

this is kind of related to what you are saying - i'm the same size/shape as you it sounds like.  at my thinnest i'm 125 - i had twins (babies 5&6) 6 months ago and I can't shake the weight so far - I'm 146ish and I loathe it.  I'm even solely breastfeeding them but the weight isn't going anywhere.  All this to say - have you checked to see if your abdominal muscles are apart?  This is the first pregnancy mine didn't go back together after I had the babies so I look bigger than I am - especially after I eat because your stomach pushes out and your ab muscles are separated and bulge.  I've been doing special exercises to help pull them back together and without losing any weight I look smaller and shirts fit better. 

Anyhow - I understand what you are saying.  I have the same struggles and feel bad sometmes because at the end of the day I am still "skinny" just not skinny to me.

StaciF
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 11:21 AM
I had a horrid csection too - but the separation is from your abdomen stretching during pregnancy. See if this helps - http://pinterest.com/pin/197384396144790502/

Quoting bananas2u: I have no idea. I had a csection with my son. Was in a lot a pain.... Excruciating pain... For 5 weeks afterwords. If I used my stomach muscles at all, I was in tears. So maybe?







Quoting StaciF:

this is kind of related to what you are saying - i'm the same size/shape as you it sounds like.  at my thinnest i'm 125 - i had twins (babies 5&6) 6 months ago and I can't shake the weight so far - I'm 146ish and I loathe it.  I'm even solely breastfeeding them but the weight isn't going anywhere.  All this to say - have you checked to see if your abdominal muscles are apart?  This is the first pregnancy mine didn't go back together after I had the babies so I look bigger than I am - especially after I eat because your stomach pushes out and your ab muscles are separated and bulge.  I've been doing special exercises to help pull them back together and without losing any weight I look smaller and shirts fit better. 

Anyhow - I understand what you are saying.  I have the same struggles and feel bad sometmes because at the end of the day I am still "skinny" just not skinny to me.

kajira
by Emma on May. 17, 2015 at 12:37 PM
2 moms liked this

I know how you feel. I'm the heaviest i've been (not pregnant) in the last 5 years. I'm working on getting back down to 115lbs, were I feel my best... even though i'm TTC while doing it. I started doing situps again last night, and squats. I'm going to start eating a little less, and walking a little more.

When anyone hears I want to lose 15lbs, people make fun of me and tell me I look fine, even my doctor told me that I was still with in normal range for my BMI charts, despite the fact I have a gut, and fat in places that make my clothes not fit - she did however agree with losing a few lbs and being my body-types ideal figure/weight and toning up again. So she did acknowledge that while the charts accept it, she gets that it's not a univeral answer for everyone.

BMI charts aren't everything, you can be skinny and have unhealthy fat, which is my case. I'm usually an thin/athletic build, and when I'm at my peak, I weigh about 115-118 with muscles.

If I have NO muscles, but am skinny, I weigh about 110-114... and I know the difference. I feel like I often can't talk about my weight, or my goal for physical plans because people who weigh more than me put me down as needing to accept myself for who I am.

I do, thats why i'm TTC while I weigh what I do, I just know I FEEL better being active, toned and fit, instead of a skinny-fat that I am now.


My last pregnancy was a set of twins, with an emergency c-section, and my body hasn't been the same since.

kit279
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

hey i'm skinny! and being underweight does make it harder to get pregnant, but being overweight is just as unhealthy for a baby. YOU need to be healthy and feel healthy for your baby. you also need to be emotionally healthy for your baby. I've been gaining weight recently, and even though i'm still underweight and happy to be gaining weight, its still hard to see your body go threw those changes. i recently had a freak out on my hubby because he was standing behind me and making my butt jiggle (which i've never had a jiggly butt), i turned around and screamed at him "I KNOW I'M FAT!", when i'm no where near close to it. lol. (as of this morning i'm 94.4 lbs). most of my friends and coworkers roll their eyes and tell me to shut up if i complain about my new fat areas. most of my smaller bras don't even fit me anymore and i just had to get rid of a bunch of sun dresses because they are too small now.

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