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I better get my BFP this cycle.

Posted by on May. 17, 2015 at 8:13 PM
Jen
  • 22 Replies
...because I'm getting angry and I think I even feel a little twinge of bitterness creeping in. I have never been the type to feel jealous or bitter when it comes to seeing BFPs but I think I'm getting there. I'm sure I have no right to feel jealous or anything because I already have more kids than most people would ever want (haha 😋) but the loss in February really did something to me. Since then, all I have wanted is to be pregnant again. Knowing that we are trying again is really the only thing that has kept me from being totally down and depressed about the mc. But all I've gotten over the last two cycles is a chemical and a bfn.

It's hard to describe the feelings that come after a mc. And while every loss is hard, it's even harder after you've seen a heart beat. I've had 3 chemicals and those were hard too but soooo not the same. It's like one day you go and see the tiny HB flickering. Your baby is alive... There is a LIFE growing inside you. And then the next time there is no flicker... It's just gone. And now it just feels like there is this missing piece and I'm not going to be at peace with it until I have another baby. I need another pregnancy that ends with a healthy baby and then I'll be content. Honestly, I'm 99% sure we will be done after one more. But it feels like my "one more" will never come.

Sorry for being whiny. If you made it this far, thanks. lol
by on May. 17, 2015 at 8:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momof1want1mor
by Jenny ;) on May. 17, 2015 at 8:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs my friend
IlOvEsGtL
by on May. 17, 2015 at 8:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs Jen , I'm praying for you and me to get our bfps
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MeganSB
by Megan on May. 17, 2015 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree! It's time for my bfp too!
Why does it seem some people were posting there bfp over and over again?! Rub it in further why don't you!! Wait here is some salt to add to it!
ksixberry2
by on May. 17, 2015 at 8:37 PM
Understandable.. a lot of friends and family announced pregnancy. I've congratulated them and also feel jealous. Lots of feelings. It'll all work out. Soon it will be all of our turns
Lollypeg9896
by Gold Member on May. 17, 2015 at 8:56 PM
Hugs Jen. I feel your pain and I'm rooting for you!
Mom2five87
by Jen on May. 17, 2015 at 8:57 PM
Thanks, Jen. I am really excited for you :)

Quoting momof1want1mor: Hugs my friend
momof1want1mor
by Jenny ;) on May. 17, 2015 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Awe Thx :) still doesn't feel real, i never thought it would happen. I can't wait for your bfp my dear :)

Quoting Mom2five87: Thanks, Jen. I am really excited for you :)

Quoting momof1want1mor: Hugs my friend
corrinacs
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 9:01 PM

Never being whiny, that's why we are here.  We are shoulders for you to cry on when you feel at your worst through this journey......when I was TTC my second, this was my lifeline - I couldn't have survived.  Some of these ladies are still here!

MC is very difficult, and it did much of the same to me :(.  I had to deal with a MC right at the worst time.  It does heal mostly over time, but never completely.  For me, it makes me fear pregnancy so much - I fear that loss so badly, it almost paralyzes me :/.  I hope you don't experience that.

Good luck....and I hope we all get BFPs soon :)

Mom2five87
by Jen on May. 17, 2015 at 9:01 PM
I have a friend that was about 8 weeks ahead of me and when I mc in February and I had to hide her from my FB newseed. I felt kind of mean but I just couldn't see her constantly posting about her pregnancy. I was finally able to make myself un-hide her last week :-/

Quoting ksixberry2: Understandable.. a lot of friends and family announced pregnancy. I've congratulated them and also feel jealous. Lots of feelings. It'll all work out. Soon it will be all of our turns
Mom2five87
by Jen on May. 17, 2015 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this
Thanks. You're awesome. 😊

Quoting Lollypeg9896: Hugs Jen. I feel your pain and I'm rooting for you!
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