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Terribly mixed feelings

Posted by on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:47 PM
  • 26 Replies
2 moms liked this
I ended my TTC journey awhile ago... this past cycle I made a mistake... and now I just have this feeling I'm pregnant.

I should be upset right? Completely not wanting to be because if I am I'll be doing it alone.

But part of me after trying for so long and the miscarriages I've had in all honesty wants a rainbow baby. As unideal as timing is and as much as I'd have to figure out... I've been back on here the past few days and it's made me realize how much I truly have missed the thought of trying.

I bought a box of FRERS and I have some cheapies. Should be enough to get me to AF if she shows. I have a feeling she won't. And I'm kinda becoming okay with that... is that bad? I'm testing in the morning.

I'm somewhere around 3w-3w2d I *think* based on LMP (I had some heavy spotting last cycle for 2 days before she showed full force so I'm not sure which day to honestly count from because if she shows I'll start spotting Monday...

How would y'all feel? In my shoes? Am I nuts? Am I wrong? I just... I know I'd love him/her no matter what happens



by on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MichaelaG
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 8:59 PM
I think I would feel the same way you do. I believe all babies are blessings, no matter how they come to us.
heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 9:10 PM

That's a really good way to look at it. I feel the same way and I'm just struggling right now because I feel like I shouldn't even have any remotely positive feelings towards this and yet at the same time I'm looking forward to testing in the morning. And part of me feels terrible for that and the other part of me is just so confused because I do truly want this baby if I am pregnant. 

Quoting MichaelaG: I think I would feel the same way you do. I believe all babies are blessings, no matter how they come to us.


MichaelaG
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 9:43 PM
That's all that matters then. If you want and love the baby, in the end, everything else becomes trivial.

Quoting heathnbuttrfly:

That's a really good way to look at it. I feel the same way and I'm just struggling right now because I feel like I shouldn't even have any remotely positive feelings towards this and yet at the same time I'm looking forward to testing in the morning. And part of me feels terrible for that and the other part of me is just so confused because I do truly want this baby if I am pregnant. 

Quoting MichaelaG: I think I would feel the same way you do. I believe all babies are blessings, no matter how they come to us.

heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:01 PM

thank you. that makes me feel better honestly. 

Quoting MichaelaG: That's all that matters then. If you want and love the baby, in the end, everything else becomes trivial.
Quoting heathnbuttrfly:

That's a really good way to look at it. I feel the same way and I'm just struggling right now because I feel like I shouldn't even have any remotely positive feelings towards this and yet at the same time I'm looking forward to testing in the morning. And part of me feels terrible for that and the other part of me is just so confused because I do truly want this baby if I am pregnant. 

Quoting MichaelaG: I think I would feel the same way you do. I believe all babies are blessings, no matter how they come to us.



Acciobooks
by Bronze Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:14 PM
Can’t wait to see your test!
heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:17 PM

Thanks!

Quoting Acciobooks: Can’t wait to see your test!


heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:18 PM

Morning can't get here fast enough haha

Quoting Acciobooks: Can’t wait to see your test!


MarriedMyPrince
by Sarah on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:37 PM
I would feel the same way you do. I hope you get what you truly hope for.
heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 17, 2017 at 10:43 PM

thank you. I'm hoping i actually get sleep tonight haha

Quoting MarriedMyPrince: I would feel the same way you do. I hope you get what you truly hope for.


heathnbuttrfly
by Member on Oct. 18, 2017 at 9:52 AM
Bfn this morning but it's still super early

Quoting Acciobooks: Can’t wait to see your test!
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