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Change of mind

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2017 at 7:57 AM
  • 4 Replies
My husband and I have been trying to conceive for two months now and when we originally had the talk about it we weighed our pros and cons of having a second child and we decided to go for it. I could tell he was just as excited as I was and I loved that about him. I've been pinning baby stuff on pintrest, looking at baby stuff in the stores and everything. But this morning I was laying in bed and he came in and held my hand and said I think we should reconsider having another baby. My heart shattered right then and there. He said once our first child (5) is grown we will still be somewhat young and able to do things and live our lives and if we have another child it would be an even longer wait......idk what to think . It's just so upsetting. And when he saw me start crying he was like maybe we can try for two more months and if nothing happens we will just take it off the table. But NO! I do not want to have another baby if the feeling is not mutual. But I also don't know how I should feel or react to the whole thing.
by on Oct. 21, 2017 at 7:57 AM
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Replies (1-4):
huntersmoma21
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 12:29 PM
Ttc is a very tough and stressful journey, at least for us it has been. I know my dh doesn't like to see me stressing and be let down each month. Most of the time dh is doing it for us because we want it so bad but other times,like in my marriage, my husband seems to want this a little more than me. I would love another baby, but am also content with what we have. I know it's gotta be emotional to not have dh fully on board but maybe that's something you can talk about together. I'm sorry you are going through this.
britishmummy
by Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 12:39 PM

It sounds like he scared. When we had my first, I was 18 when we got a BFP and had just moved in together so he was scared then. We then decided to try for #2. I guess after month 1 didn't work, hubs assumed we wouldn't have a baby? So 10 months later when I got the BFP he was utterly shocked and worried as he wasn't prepared!?! We start trying for our final babe next week, and I already know he'll forget we are trying!!


Men are compeltely different with handling pregnancies. My husband also said the same reasons, our kids are currently 6 and 4 and we finally have a life - but the fact we even considered another, it didn't make sense to not? Explain to your husband he wont be locked away if he has a baby. You can still travel, go to theme parks, fly overseas - live your lives!! You just get to do it with another baby loving you. 

I'm sorry you're going through this though - I was in this spot up until last week so I really feel the heartache you're experiencing!

loquaciousred
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2017 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this
So you're not living your lives now? Why is society's goal to empty your nest asap so you can "be free". Maybe remind him that parenting doesn't stop when your oldest hits 18...
Momboss1812
by New Member on Oct. 22, 2017 at 10:57 PM
That was going to be my argument but I was just too heart broken to even get into it anymore.

Quoting loquaciousred: So you're not living your lives now? Why is society's goal to empty your nest asap so you can "be free". Maybe remind him that parenting doesn't stop when your oldest hits 18...
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