Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mind Your Own Business

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:36 PM
  • 10 Replies

 At what point do you tell people to mind their own business? I took my kids with me to get my paycheck yesterday. I work at McDonalds and everyone knows my kids and pretty much let the oldest do what she pleases. Which is fine, but, when I tell her no or she wants something and doesn't say please, I refuse to give in. I don't think people realize that I can hear their comments behind my back. I don't want to hear "just give it to her." Or that you think I am a bad mom. I want my kids to learn manners and have respect and I firmly beleave that starts at a young age. Anyone else have situations where they've wanted to tell people to stop telling you how to raise your kids?

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:36 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
prettymama72106
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:49 PM

All the time especially when it comes to their dads mom she is always trying to tell me how to raise my kids and it drives me crazy if I tell them not to do something or they will go to timeout she will interfere and offer them a cookie or sweet so they stop. It makes me so mad I don't want her to make them turnout like their older cousin who acts like a complete spoiled brat. I don't think people will ever stop thinking they know how to handle a situation better than the parents but know that as long as you do what you think is best for you kid everything will be alright try not to let it bother you. You are absolutlet doing the right thing by teaching your kids manners and by not giving in I wish you the best and hope you know you are doing a good job

IheartArianna07
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:55 PM

 I am having that problem with SO's friend who is staying with us right now. I bitched at SO about it and I guess he said something because his friend shut his mouth. Good thing or he wouldn't have had a place to stay!!!

DebWatson
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:07 PM

 I love how people act like their kids were always well behaved. I doubt that. But, it is hard when people tell you to your face you are a bad mom. Which has happened to me, when i layed my daughter on the floor while she was having a temper tantrum. It is nice to hear other mom's have my issues too. We are all just trying to do what we feel is best and trying to raise well bahaved, well adjusted kids.

IheartArianna07
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 1:15 AM

 Oh I lay my daughter down during tantrums all the time! Much better than fighting with her or risking her throwing herself down and hurting herself! SO's friend was here when DD threw a fit, and he was on the phone saying "Yea it wouldn't be my kid (whom he hasnt seen in years!) and she doesn this all the time. I can't say anything to her or she goes running to mommy" I was mad and refuse to be disrespected in my own house! But when people make comments elsewhere I just look at them  until they get uncomfortable and go somewhere else lol. Not even a mean look, just a constant look!

MariaDeLaLuz
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 2:03 AM
I never really have that problem. My boys are going through nasty stage right now. My oldest one is known for this a lot at stores. He will not get his way and throw a fit on the floor. All I do is tell him it's not going to work, this isn't embarrassing for me more so than for him, and that if he is going to throw a fit right he could at least kick his legs and arms as he yells. He gives up every time after I say that, lol. Oddly enough no one has made remarks.
mamajen07
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 9:37 AM

your post states you usually give them what they want, it's no wonder they throw fits when they don't get what they want. i'm sure the bystanders say that, b/c you've lead them to believe you always give them what they want and they're confused as to why this time is different than the last.

that said, last night actually i told bil that we can make our parenting decisions. it didn't go over so well. whatevs. they don't have or ever plan on having kids so it makes it that much more frustrating!

garoul17
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:39 AM

I can't believe someone told you to just give it to her. You're right that a parent should raise their kids the way they believe, however if that child is going to grow up to be some low life or so spoiled you just want to slap them then sometimes intervention is okay. I've met some moms that ignore the wrong altogether and I wished that I could just step in and say "Hey, could you maybe control your child better?". It's a fine dance, I think, between being a mom and being a giver and from the sound of it, you're being a mom. Givers cave to what the child thinks they need (i.e. unneccesary wants) and it results in a spoiled brat, or worse, a bully.

My fear is my parents (to-be grandparents in Oct.) are gonna spoil my baby and I'll have to work at breaking the desires that mom and dad created.

The point of that speech, however, was- Yes, other people should know when it's right and wrong to step in. Let the mother be a mother.

mamajen07
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:47 AM

no, intervening in someone's parenting is never ok. unless of course a parent asks for advice or guidance. one can't predict the way a stranger's child WILL turn out based solely on a random temper tantrum in the store.

Quoting garoul17:

I can't believe someone told you to just give it to her. You're right that a parent should raise their kids the way they believe, however if that child is going to grow up to be some low life or so spoiled you just want to slap them then sometimes intervention is okay. I've met some moms that ignore the wrong altogether and I wished that I could just step in and say "Hey, could you maybe control your child better?". It's a fine dance, I think, between being a mom and being a giver and from the sound of it, you're being a mom. Givers cave to what the child thinks they need (i.e. unneccesary wants) and it results in a spoiled brat, or worse, a bully.

My fear is my parents (to-be grandparents in Oct.) are gonna spoil my baby and I'll have to work at breaking the desires that mom and dad created.

The point of that speech, however, was- Yes, other people should know when it's right and wrong to step in. Let the mother be a mother.


garoul17
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 11:59 AM

You're right, you can't predict it. I think I came off wrong when I said intervention. A stranger shouldn't just intercede what may be percieved as overly unruly and uncontrolled because the stranger doesn't know what's going on. I should've said "offer assistance", whether asked or not. Sometimes, a parent can be too proud to ask for help unless it's offered.

mamajen07
by on Feb. 21, 2010 at 12:10 PM

ahh that makes more sense =)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)