Am I the only one who totally hates their life and SO? (Long/Language) *update in red*
So I hate my fucking boyfriend on so many levels. First of all he is a "recovering" drug addict that means he only GETS CAUGHT less. I have been so stupid, and naive to stay with him this long and I keep giving him chance after chance. Well the last time (about a month ago) I found out he was doing crack I told him I would leave him. So he begged and pleaded and cried please one more chance. Ok I am a stupid bitch and a sucker so I told him ok but if I even THINK he is screwing up again I am leaving. So fast forward to tonight at work, I get out of work at 11PM. (By the way we live with his mom. She watches our kids when we both work or when he runs out to the store while I work & shit.) So he brings me dinner at 8. I call at 11:05 to ask why he isnt there to pick me up. His mom says he hasnt been home since he took me up my dinner. WTF?!!? So I had to walk home (not far, but its 11PM man come on!! wtf!!?!?!) So it is now 12:30AM and still no sign of him. SO GUESS WHAT. I am gonna call my mom tomorrow (God bless me this conversation with her is gonna suck and be full of i-told-you-so's) and ask if I can move in with the kids temporarily til housing pulls through. YEAH IM LEAVING HIS DRUGGIE ASS. Im fucking fed up!! MY KIDS DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS WTF.
It just sucks that I wasted so much of my life with this loser!!!!!!
UGH thanks for listening to my vent.... please no bashing!! I know I am an idiot for staying this long I just really have no where to go but with my mom who is not gonna be happy but I cant do this anymore!! :(:(
SO Ive been at my moms for a few days. He came by yesterday to drop off the rest of the baby's things with his mom. He isn't even sorry. I asked him if he sold my GPS and portable DVD players. He said he did and he paid for them anyway so what do I care. First of all, I GAVE him the money that he used for the GPS and STILL gave him 40 towards it so he didnt have to spend all his, and I paid completely for the DVD players. He is not even sorry. What a loser. I am doing ... well, bluntly, I'm doing awful, I'm a wreck and havent really eaten since I got here cause I just feel so sick. If it werent for my girls I would be crying all day and night but I am trying to stay strong. I wanted to thank everyone for their support as this is something I have wanted to do for a long time but havent had the strength /willpower in me. I am happy to be gone... and I hope I can get through this.... thank you everyone for being there for me!
You're not an idiot. Stop blaming yourself. See about getting into a support group for survivors of abuse, and yes, you are abused emotionally by your SO. It will help you to move on and not blame yourself for staying for so long. It also helps with parents who blame you or keep hassling you about it. I left my ex over a year ago and my mom still brings it up and "wonders why i didn't leave" blah blah blah. But I love my support group :)
Feel free to PM me with anything. i went through the "Please take me back I swear I'll change" over and over and over again also, so I feel you. And I currently live with my parents for the time being. It's rough but you will be SOOOOO much happier.
Small update. He came home about 20 min ago. I said where the fuck have you been. He said at Austins and Robs house, Rob is downstairs now. I said yeah right, why didnt you pick me up? He said he thought his mom would, I said dont fucking sleep in this room I am moving out tomorrow. He was like really? And then he went downstairs, and I went down to get the keys to my car and check if I still have my GPS and portable DVD players in it (cause he probably sold them) and he was gone already again. hope he fuckin dies ugh
just wanted to say i am goin through a similar situation right now with my husband. i am 7 1/2 months pregnant with twin girls. weve had many MANY problems in the past and im pretty much goin through the SAME shit right now as i type this. i am leavin tomorrow also. im goin to stay with my stepmother an hour and a half away. it is so incredibly hard to leave, becuase all of our things are here, my drs (both ob AND specialist) are here, but i just KNOW we will be happier when we do. no one deserves the empty promises and drama and fightin that come with someone like that! i wish you all the best of luck and just know that we deserve SOOOOO much better than that.
School
- LittleKrittle
on Mar. 16, 2010 at 12:26 AM