he's *MY* kid, and what *I* say goes. END OF STORY.

[mamajen07]

what's with this mentality?

i know there are extreme cases where family members butt in one too many times. i get that. but are mothers that afraid of "losing control?" your child IS your child and that will never change - so what's the big deal?

so what if your son has an extra treat b/c grandma wanted to spoil him, is it THAT big of a deal to cause a scene over it? it almost gets to the point that baby becomes an "accessory" for lack of a better term.

maybe i'm just a very laidback parent. i don't see the point in throwing a fit if someone gives something or does something to "treat" my kids. i appreciate it and it confirms that *i'm* doing a great job at parenting b/c my kids are greatly loved!!

[LilGina]

I agree to a point I am very picky with what my DD eats she is just really getting the hang of table foods and i only want her to eat healthy foods because My theory is if shes only had fruits and veggies then that's all shell know she wont want junk food because shes not used to it but my in laws insist on trying to give her french fries and gummy worms and things like that i have to put my foot down and say no but i do agree with most of what you said

[Georgie0502]

I don't have a problem with someone giving my daughter an extra "treat" or something to spoil her. My problem is when someone tries to undermine your parenting

For instance. MIL is anti breastfeeding. We moved in with them briefly while we were relocating from another city and were looking for another apartment. Since she is anti-BF she snuck my 3 mo old daughter 8oz bottles of formula when I took a shower or did laundry or picked up, etc. I didn't even say anything, because I'm not one for confrontation, but it's an instance where I should have.

There've been many more things like that, but the point is, spoiling the kids and undermining your parenting are two very different things

[LittleKrittle]

What's with this mentality is that if you say no repeatedly and someone else says its ok, dont listen to your mom, then it teaches your child that they do not have to listen to you.

[erika_wright]

 i have an issue w people who dont ask first. not usually grandparents though. at our church, people will give dd juice or cookies w out checking w me! and thats not family, so its not ok w me. i never give kids ANYTHING w out checking w parents, mainly bc you never know about food allergies or  sensetivities.

it is a respect thing, as in respect for the other parents. in the post earlier, her mil was very clearly disrespectful i my opinion. my mil would never outright disrespect me like that.

the other day, we were over there and dd and i had just gotten done at the mall and she had already had sugar and treats. my mil offered her a piece of chocolate, and where it was not ideal for her to have more sugar, i didnt say anything bc it wasnt really a big deal. she didnt know ellie had already had treats, and ellie LOVES chocolate lol, so i didnt sy anything

[penguinbabe44]

Okay, it's a difference when someone is treating your kid than when you told them no and they go and give them something after they heard the mom say no. When you say no, that means no. I don't mind people giving my child something but when I said they couldn't have something I don't want someone going over my word...

[lilblufrog]

If I said no in the first place to someone and they did it anyway I would be upset. That is showing the child they don't have to listen either. I don't think I would throw a huge fit though.

[lilblufrog]

I think a few of us were typing at the same time;)

[erika_wright]

 just a thought based on what ou said: studies have shown that kids who are allowed to have sweets in moderaion are far less likely to binge on them when they are away from home/ parents, as opposed to kids who are not allowed to have them, who will eat them when they have already stated not being hungry, just bc they cant get it at home.

Quoting LilGina:

I agree to a point I am very picky with what my DD eats she is just really getting the hang of table foods and i only want her to eat healthy foods because My theory is if shes only had fruits and veggies then that's all shell know she wont want junk food because shes not used to it but my in laws insist on trying to give her french fries and gummy worms and things like that i have to put my foot down and say no but i do agree with most of what you said

 

[mamajen07]

Quoting Georgie0502:

I don't have a problem with someone giving my daughter an extra "treat" or something to spoil her. My problem is when someone tries to undermine your parenting

For instance. MIL is anti breastfeeding. We moved in with them briefly while we were relocating from another city and were looking for another apartment. Since she is anti-BF she snuck my 3 mo old daughter 8oz bottles of formula when I took a shower or did laundry or picked up, etc. I didn't even say anything, because I'm not one for confrontation, but it's an instance where I should have.

There've been many more things like that, but the point is, spoiling the kids and undermining your parenting are two very different things

very true. i would have flipped my lid if i were you!

[LilGina]

well my DD is only 14 months so my no junk food stands as of now but as she gets a little older i might be a little more lenient (sp) I am just hoping she wont want junk food causeshes so used to healthy foods lol

Quoting erika_wright:

 just a thought based on what ou said: studies have shown that kids who are allowed to have sweets in moderaion are far less likely to binge on them when they are away from home/ parents, as opposed to kids who are not allowed to have them, who will eat them when they have already stated not being hungry, just bc they cant get it at home.

Quoting LilGina:

I agree to a point I am very picky with what my DD eats she is just really getting the hang of table foods and i only want her to eat healthy foods because My theory is if shes only had fruits and veggies then that's all shell know she wont want junk food because shes not used to it but my in laws insist on trying to give her french fries and gummy worms and things like that i have to put my foot down and say no but i do agree with most of what you said