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Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:53 PM
  • 17 Replies

So my ex, baby daddy, has not seen his son since last August. even then he didn't give a shit and spent most of the time smoking, texting, talking on the phone, or talking to himself like a psycho. This was at my son's b-day party.

He left when my son was 4 months old, my son is now almost 21 months. He has never provided financial support for my son, even when I was pregnant I was the only one working and he'd spend MY money on useless crap and booze.

I filed for custody in June 09. He responded at first and sent it in a legal spiral. He stopped participating halfway through, once we got the Family Court Investigator involved. In Nov 09 I was granted sole legal and physical custody. My ex is not allowed to have ANY visitation until he completes alcohol and domestic violence classes, pays all his court fees, and takes a parenting class. After he completes all of that he can have SUPERVISED visitation in a place of MY choice, supervised by a person of MY choice. And he was ordered to pay $265 per month in child support.

He has not asked about his son since the beginning of Nov 09 (I got custody at the end of Nov). He has not paid a single child support payment since it was ordered (he also owes back support). The last three times he texted me was in January to say "happy birthday", in March to tell me his grandmother passed away, and in May to say "happy mother's day" not once in ANY of those texts did he ask about his son.

Well, today I find out that he is having another child with his girlfriend who JUST turned 18 (he is 22, will be 23 in Nov). I am sickened by this. He can't even take care of his first child, nor does he care to. I can't stand the thought that my son will have "half siblings" running around because this "man" can't keep his tool wrapped. It was weird enough for ME as a child to find out my dad had a half sibling that he never knew. I do not and will not ever consider any of my ex's offspring as siblings to my son, EVER.

So, becase of all of this I asked my ex to just sign over his rights and be done. It would be better for all of us. And he says "I will not sign my rights over to you at all,so sorry." and THEN goes on to tell me that he has tried "countless times" to contact me regarding my son. That is a big fat fucking LIE and he knows it. He's a chronic liar. His own MOTHER told me he doesn't care and isn't a father and doesn't deserve to ever be a part of his son's life. I want his rights GONE. All I know of is abandonment or adoption, neither of which we meet the requirements for or are prepared for. My boyfriend would love to adopt my son but we have both agreed that we will be married before that happens.

I contacted my legal aid lawyer to see what she thinks but I still can't help but be incredibly livid.

by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on May. 24, 2010 at 10:25 PM


by on May. 24, 2010 at 10:33 PM

I am so sorry to hear about that. I wish i had something to say to make you feel better but sadly i am at a loss for words.

by Wendy on May. 24, 2010 at 11:55 PM

I'm sorry you're going through that. My son's "father" (which he doesn't even deserve to be called) has never seen his son. He doesn't even know it's a boy! I told him I was pregnant when I first got the positive on a home pregnancy test, and he left town. I have no way of contacting him or finding him because I completely forgot his last name. IMO, it's better that he isn't around my son. He's an alcoholic and is very irresponsible.

by on May. 25, 2010 at 12:26 AM
I never understood how a person could create a child, look the child in the eye, and then turn their back on them. I'm soo sorry you have to deal with this. Good luck.
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by on May. 25, 2010 at 2:47 AM
Aw I know exactly how you feel and honestly it is that jerks loss I bet your son loves you more then anything and that's what you should be sooo proud of. I was sooo hurt by my DD father when he left n went with someone else and took care of her son but remember you are a better person then he will ever be and that girl has to put up with his sorry butt now. Keep your head high mama your doing it right :)
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by on May. 25, 2010 at 9:43 AM

I have a very similar situation except by the time I filed my paperwork we hadn't heard from my ex in months.. he's been living with his now gf since before we even split.. he's fighting me in court, but doesn't even contact our children.. it's all to hurt me, which he isn't!! Don't let him get you down!!

by on May. 25, 2010 at 10:15 AM

 Jays dad has 5 kids by three different women, so i know how u feel about having half siblings. Im so pissed because his dad thinks since Jay is the oldest it is my responsibility to make sure all brothers and sisters know each other. bull shit! not when one lives in CA, one in PA and im in SC. He does pay 480 in child support but other than that we dosent even bother to call or ask about jay. his exscuse is i have 5 kids and 3 baby momma's and work 2 jobs i cant make everyone happy. (marine mentality for u) i wish my b/f could adopt my lil man 2 but we also r waiting for marriage and im not ready for that yet. lol

by on May. 25, 2010 at 10:49 AM

Thank you all for your support I really needed it. mostly I just feel GUILTY that I brought my son into this situation. It wasn't supposed to be like this at all. I thought that bby stayng with my ex, by putting him on the birth cert, by giving him a chance that we'd eventually get through all the crap and be a happy family. Now I am glad that it didn't work out between us because I know what kind of person he really is and I can't imagine myself EVER being happy with someone like him. But my son didn't ask for this, and that sucks. Granted, my family loves him to death and accounts for all the love his dad can't or won't give him. And I have an AMAZING boyfriend who is taking my son on as his own.

I looked up some Colorado laws though and to be honest it was a little disheartening. One site said that in the state of Colorado a parent cannot sign over their rights unless there is a stepparent or other person willing to step in and adopt. That is not the case for me, yet. My boyfriend and I plan on getting married, just not RIGHT NOW, you know? And even then the website said that most courts won't do it unless the bio parent and step parent have been married for at least a year.

by on May. 25, 2010 at 10:58 AM
ditto! im dealing with the same bs. except my donor got 1/2 custody... wtf rite! i dont know how you got sole custody but am curious! plz add me as friend so we can talk further! my dd is 4 and he didnt do shit as a father!
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by on May. 25, 2010 at 12:19 PM

I am confused how these dads can get away without paying support where I am from it comes right out of their paycheck

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