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He cheated on me when i was pregnant

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:30 AM
  • 13 Replies

I really dont know what to do i just found out that my boyfriend and the father of my 4month old twin girl had sex with his ex girl friend when i first found out i was pregnant he says it was only once and now he know he loves me and is meant to be with me...but i dont know if i can ever forgive him for that...so after last night when i found out i took the girls and i went home to my parents house and now he has done nothing but call me and text me...what do i do if i dont forgive him he will never see the girls again and i feel like it would be my fault 

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tink62505
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:37 AM

my es husband cheated on me when i was prego and then cheated on me when my duaghter was 2 weeks old with his best friends wife. We tried to work it out but it just didnt work out ! But i say if he cheats once he will do it again. Good Luck

bluerose26
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 10:37 AM

How would it be your fault when he is the one who cheated (not you)?  If you really love him and want to work things out the thats what you should do. I only give my man one chance, not 3. So I would set down some ground rules #1 being he is not allowed to see or talk to this ex girlfriend or have any contact with her again..if he does I would dump him in a heartbeat and then file for child support. No matter how much it will hurt It will be for the best. But you have to put your kids first. Its your life and your decision, you do whats best for your family. Goodluck

BAMBAMmommy
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:18 AM

Although you should always put your kids first, you shouldn't have to suffer through a situation because you think it's better. I think that is the most important thing that women need to realize. It's up to you if you are just done with the relationship, or if you are willing to give him a second chance. He needs to be 100% honest with you on all things. And you catch him lying once, even if it's not about a girl, then boot his ass.

If you were to stay with him just because he's your daughter's dad, and he continued to cheat on you, or even if he wasn't but you lived in constant anxiety that he'd do it again, it's not worth it, even for your daughters. Kids pick up on a lot more than we realize. They feed off our emotions and can sense stress, anxiety, depression, and fear. So staying in a situation where you are depressed, anxious and all of that is not good for your daughters either, even though it would seem like it is.

Also, it's not really your choice whether or not he gets to see his daughters if you leave him. As long as he's a decent human being the courts will give him at LEAST visitation, if not partial parenting time. As long as he WANTS to be an active parent in their lives then he will be.

If you need to PM me please do. My ex cheated on me numerous times while I was pregnant and I always had my suspicions but he denied denied denied. Anyway, I left him when my son was 4 months old (granted, he was also abusive) and he has ZERO contact with my son. That is in part because he is a dangerous person and the courts agreed with me that he shouldn't have visitation, and, in large part because he doesn't care.

I think the biggest thing to look at here is that he was honest with you. Even though it costhim his relationship and his daughters it was something he felt he needed to come clean about. I would suggest couple therapy. Sometimes churches or the state department of human services will provide free or discounted therapy for couples, especially couples with children.

hipmama985
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:19 PM

My husband cheated on me while I was pregnant....first he told me (our daughter was maybe 2 weeks) that they only kissed, then a few weeks later he admitted they "slept in the same bed together"...much much later that he had slept with her, and then EVEN later that it had been going on for pretty much the entire last trimester and that "it wasn't until he saw his daughter that he realized what he was doing"....I still don't believe him, trust him, or have a great relationship with him. I thought I could get over it, that I would forget, but it's been 2 years and I still think about that skank (srry!) and get mad about it, I'm starting to wonder why I didn't do what you did and just leave him straight away instead of dragging it on like this...trust me, even if you decide to leave him, if he doesn't see his girls- thats HIS fault!

mommyof2chasmin
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 1:23 PM

i think if you really cant forgive him then theres no point in being with him . but i think you can forgive you will never forget that he cheated though .I think regardless of what he did and regardless if you stay together or not he has the right to see his daughters if he wants to. unless he was a drugy or something like that. good luck hun

MKSers
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 2:31 PM

It isn't always true that if someone cheats once they are always a cheater.  Everyone is human and makes mistakes.   That is the father of your two beautiful daughters.  He knows he did wrong, and you now have the right to know where he is at all times until he gains your trust back.  But to yank him out of your childrens life is not the right thing to do over one mistake.  Is he a good father?  Is he good to you?  Are you good to him? I just don't believe to throw something away so fast.  Life isn't a fairytail.   Be realistic.  Sleep on it.

xxlilmomma09
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 3:40 PM

Honestly, if it was only once.. and he has been devoted to you and the children.. I would forgive him. There is no sense in letting in ruin your relationship.. I know it hurts, but just let him try to earn your trust back.

momof3jam
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 3:47 PM
If you split up, he won't necessarily take that out on the kids. There's a good chance he'll make a good effort to still see them. Did you talk to this "woman" about it? How did you find out? If hrs genuinely sorry, I personally would find it in my heart to give him another chance.
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MovalMomsADMIN
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM

he cheated on you... i would make him suffer a bit. but that's just me... well, actually... with the way i think now i would have not even bothered with him. i would have my fun then call him back...

Snoop420
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 4:16 PM
Dude, don't tell her to have a revenge fling! She's only hurting herself. Just because someone did something bad to you doesn't mean you should trash your self-worth!

Quoting MovalMomsADMIN:

he cheated on you... i would make him suffer a bit. but that's just me... well, actually... with the way i think now i would have not even bothered with him. i would have my fun then call him back...

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