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Would this bother you?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:41 PM
  • 11 Replies

So first off, my boyfriend Josh works overnights. He got home a little after 7 this morrning. I had to leave he house by 8:00 for a job interview. I woke up at 7:50 (he woke me up late) and he watched Josiah while I was at the interview. Josiah slept the whole time. I got home and took Josiah to a friend/neighbor's house while Josh slept. We were going to go to the park (Me, Josh, Josiah, my friend and her boyfriend) but Josh didn't wake up, so we went without him. I got back at 5:45 and Josh left at 6:10 to go see a friend. He held Josiah for literally ONE minute today. I don't care that he's going to see a friend, I just wish he would have spent a little more time with Josiah. He probably won't be back until he has to work tonight, and Josiah will be in bed by then...

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandymarie312
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:54 PM

yeah if this happend on a every day basis..

or if he didnt show much attention to the child in general..just depends on your personal circumstances.. talk to him about it if its bothering you..just open up a conversation about it. dont make it about you, make it about him and the babies relationship.. they need to bond just as much as a mother and child do. good luck

moms.go.green22
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 7:55 PM

OMG i have the same problem! i kno my husband loves our daughter but sometimes he would just rather go fishing or hang out at a friends instead of hang with us. it is bothersome i kno how you feel! by the way your josiah is very adorable!

mollymae09
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:00 PM

Thank you. He gets nervous around Josiah. he doesn't hold him much because he thinks Josiah doesn't like him. I know he loves Josiah, without  doubt. But it's like he doesn't want to bond with him at all. I know he likes older kids more, and he gets nervous around newborns, but the only way to build a stronger connection is to play and cuddle and hold him. IDK I guess the part that upsets me is that I pretty much begged him to come to the park with us, and his friend just asks once and he'll go.

JayBearsmomma
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 9:14 PM

 yeah it would bother me a little, it depends if he does it all the time or not i quess. maby he thought since u left to the park he would go to his friends. even tho he was sleeping,guys dont always think sometimes lol.

MKSers
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:40 PM

Some men do not feel comfortable around small babies.. wait until the baby is a child. I bet you they will be running around together like crazy :)

momof3jam
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:05 AM
My DH absolutely HATES the park. Not sure why. Maybe try to find different things you can do together. And of course he'd rather go fishing -it's easier than taking care of a kid. Just be on him to spend more alone time with DS. He needs to be alone with him to learn his own ways to handle him. And try not to criticize the way he does things, it demasculates new dads.

Quoting mollymae09:

Thank you. He gets nervous around Josiah. he doesn't hold him much because he thinks Josiah doesn't like him. I know he loves Josiah, without  doubt. But it's like he doesn't want to bond with him at all. I know he likes older kids more, and he gets nervous around newborns, but the only way to build a stronger connection is to play and cuddle and hold him. IDK I guess the part that upsets me is that I pretty much begged him to come to the park with us, and his friend just asks once and he'll go.

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lillady398
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:38 AM

The problem I see is that he left to go see a friend instead of spending time with you and his child. If this is an ongoing thing then you need to address it with him. If he goes out sometimes then you need to understand that sometimes people need to get away just to have fun, especially if he's a hard worker.

mollymae09
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:50 AM


Quoting momof3jam:

My DH absolutely HATES the park. Not sure why. Maybe try to find different things you can do together. And of course he'd rather go fishing -it's easier than taking care of a kid. Just be on him to spend more alone time with DS. He needs to be alone with him to learn his own ways to handle him. And try not to criticize the way he does things, it demasculates new dads.

Quoting mollymae09:

Thank you. He gets nervous around Josiah. he doesn't hold him much because he thinks Josiah doesn't like him. I know he loves Josiah, without  doubt. But it's like he doesn't want to bond with him at all. I know he likes older kids more, and he gets nervous around newborns, but the only way to build a stronger connection is to play and cuddle and hold him. IDK I guess the part that upsets me is that I pretty much begged him to come to the park with us, and his friend just asks once and he'll go.


The thing is...he loves the park. That's why we chose it. John (our friend) wanted to go fishing with him (there's a man made lake there). The thing that gets me is that he would NOT wake up to do stuff with us, but then he jumps at the opportunity to go see a friend MINUTES after we get back. IDK. Alyssa (our friend, John's girlfriend) has noticed it too. A few times. She said it's as if I'm a singe mom who lives with Josiah's dad... if that makes sense.

Oh, and we had planned (for the past two weeks) that all 4 (well 5 with Josiah) would spend tomorrow together. Alyssa and I just had our birthdays and we were going to celebrate tomorrow because that's when the guys have the night off. Well tonight Josh said he might go see a friend tomorrow...and he's already planning to see one Wed.... They all live 1/2 hour or more away and we don't really have the money to spend to go up there all the time.

LilGina
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 2:10 PM

Yes I would be annoied

tabbie-kat
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 2:12 PM

i use to go through the same thing when our first was born. men dont think sometimes. hugs sweety

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