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Advice Please not sure how to handle this

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:13 PM
  • 11 Replies

 Ok  i have 4yr old twins and the problem I am having is that dh family usually buys the girls presents  to share while the other three grandkids get presents that are just for them. While my kids like what they get they would rather get things that are just theirs. I understand how they feel that is why dh and I buy them each their own gifts and then maybe one big present to share. I just don't know how to explain to the kids why there grandparents do what they do. THey do it for every holiday including birthdays and kids are getting old enough to voice they don't like it. They don't say anything to their grandparents because they don't want to hurt their feelings. I have discussed with dh maybe he should talk to his parents and explain that just because they are twins doesn't mean they shouldn't get their own stuff they are two completely different kids with their own personalities. It really bugs them when there cousins show off what they got and there older one brags about having them all to herself. I don't know what to do. I think the kids have a right to be upset but dh doesn't really think it is a big deal because he doesn't have to deal with hurt feelings  Ijust wondered what you all thought. Do they have a right to be upset or not and how would you handle explaining it to your kids?

P.S. Their grandparents favor the other grandkids more and the kids are old enough to realize it and it hurts their feelings and I think this is just one more way they feel they aren't as special as the other kids

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
engel
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:19 PM

I would tell them straight up what you put in the post.

mommy2dallas602
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:22 PM
I agree. Just be as nice as possible. Its completely understandable. I can see why they would when they were younger but since they are older now they have a right to be a little upset that they don't get their own gifts.


Quoting engel:

I would tell them straight up what you put in the post.


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HizzPrincess
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:24 PM

 thats sooo not fair. i would be upset too.

prettymama72106
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:26 PM

I have tried to talk to them but they brush me off.That is why I wanted Dh to talk to them because it is his parents. I have a hard time with it because noone in my family does it they get individual gifts and then maybe something to share like a movie or they did get the barbie camper to share. Dh is use to his family being the way they are growing up his family always favored his sister so he just brushes it off he doesn't get that stuff isn't normal

ATG499
by Wendy on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:38 PM
I would be upset too!
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mommy2dallas602
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:42 PM
Hmm. Can you maybe explain to your girls why she does it? I mean don't say she favors the others lol just say something like " your grandma doesn't want to hurt your feelings, she just always has bought your gifts this way and always will so please don't be upset"


Quoting prettymama72106:

I have tried to talk to them but they brush me off.That is why I wanted Dh to talk to them because it is his parents. I have a hard time with it because noone in my family does it they get individual gifts and then maybe something to share like a movie or they did get the barbie camper to share. Dh is use to his family being the way they are growing up his family always favored his sister so he just brushes it off he doesn't get that stuff isn't normal


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KylersMom8-16-7
by Platinum Member on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:10 AM

That is not fair they are individuals with their own like and dislikes, they should get their own things.

mommy0708toJC
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:17 AM

If the hubby won't say anything maybe you should. I agree just cause there twins doesn't mean they don't have there own personalities and likes and dislikes. If thats how the kids feel maybe you should let the kids tell there grandparent's how they feel. No one can change what they do but themselves and It may not change at all, but atleast you can tell them how the girls feel and If you guys stop going over there for birthdays and holidays atleast they won't have anyone to blame but themselves, cause once the kids voiced there issues and it didn't change its time for a change somewhere.

prettymama72106
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:35 AM

They are the kind of people that if you say anything they go on the defensive. As for the kids I have tried to make it so it isn't a big deal and it kinda worked last year this year not so much I am worried though that if it doesn't change it is going to be more of an issue the older they get. For instance I found out she bought them a mobigo to share she said they didn't need their own but bought each of their cousins one of their own. It is hard to explain that to the kids when they open their presents together

coolassmom87
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:40 AM



 thats sooo not fair. i would be upset too.

im not sure how i would go about telling the in-laws but someone definitely needs to let them know that it is hurting their feelings.

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