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help! what should i do??!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:16 PM
  • 11 Replies

i am supposed to be marrying my boyfriend i have been dating for 3 years, but we've been off and on. i have been feeling kinda iffy on it latley because i just dont feel the spark for him anymore. he's a great guy when it comes to taking care of my son, but when its the romance department between me and him he really just doesn't get me at all. i dont know what to do about this should i let him go? or keep going?

by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mamatiger18
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:18 PM

Maybe you two need some alone time to figure it all out like a weekend at some hotel to figure things out.

hrj75165
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:19 PM

dont marry him unless you are 100% sure its whats best for you, its better to split now then be married 5 yrs then split up because you are too miserable.

kayla19216
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:23 PM
never marry anyone unless you are 100% sure. Give it time, talk about it. Discuss your feelings and be honest. See if you can work to get that spark back, then if you do then you can talk marriage.
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Nicolenew
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:31 PM

I think there comes a time in every relationship where the spark isn't as strong as it was.... Actually I'm not sure if this is what you're talking about, but what I'm reffering to is also known as "the honeymoon stage", when in it everything can seem so intense and all about the other person. This stage contrary to prior belief isnt just the first few months of a relationship. It can sometimes last for years and then suddenly it fizzles. It doesnt mean you don't love each other, just that you've transitioned to a different stage in the relationship. Now, I just reread your question and I think that you should honestly wait. There has to be some reason your relationship has been off and on, and I personally think you should try to resolve those issues before moving forward. This doesn't mean ending the relationship, it just means to see where BOTH of you are lacking and try to fix it. If his problem is just in the romance department, tell him that you need more. Explain to him that doing things just because (doesnt have to be extravagent) can mean alot, as well as just randomly showing he cares. Maybe he doesn't know it's such a big deal for you. Some men really operate differently than us and don't realize their character flaws. If he's up to it I'd even sugest couples counseling. It will only strengthen your relationship and can be a great deal of help for any future problems that may arise.

RaLeighsMommy11
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:32 PM
agree.. Good luck!!

Quoting kayla19216:

never marry anyone unless you are 100% sure. Give it time, talk about it. Discuss your feelings and be honest. See if you can work to get that spark back, then if you do then you can talk marriage.
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ATG499
by Wendy on Feb. 20, 2011 at 9:39 PM

I agree with everything the previous posters said before me.

SaraZoey
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:26 PM
Me to. What were the reasons you were on and off for 3 years?

Quoting ATG499:

I agree with everything the previous posters said before me.

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sorens_halo
by on Feb. 20, 2011 at 10:45 PM
we were off and on because he couldnt be responsible and really didnt want to grow up, its not much different now
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jcelis
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 2:17 AM

I'd really wait if I were you. It's much easier to split from a boyfriend than it is to get a divorce if it happens not to work out. Plus, you really don't want to have to mark divorcee on any census-like forms do you? But really, either start going on some date nights once a week or so to see if you can get the spark going again or take a little break from each other and see how you feel after that.

angeleyes16
by on Feb. 21, 2011 at 2:18 AM

 Maybe try to work things out, but hold off marrige for a bit. If you don't feel sparks, I don't think getting married would improve things. GL.

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