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Boyfriend problems. HELP!!!!

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:42 AM
  • 11 Replies
My name is Hailey and I am 18 years old and my boyfriend just turned 19 this passed June. I am 31 weeks pregnant with my first child. Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years on august 24th. Me and him fight constantly. Even before we found out I was pregnant. I love him so much and I'm in love with him. I live with him and his parents. We call each other names and we always say were going to stop arguing but we don't stop. It's horrible. I love him so much and I don't want to leave him or break up our family. Please give me some advice.
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by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Karissa_ruiz
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:01 AM

My DF and I were the same way. We fought constantly, called each other insulting names. All in all we were childish, but we were madly in love. How we stopped wasn't exactly an easy road, and it must be harder when pregnant, but we had an extremely horrible falling out and broke up. Neither of us dated anyone or even really talked to anyone of the opposite sex. It took us losing each other to realize how dumb we were and how bad we needed each other. I guess the saying "If you love someone let them go, and if they come back it's meant to be" is true. He and I have been together since 9th grade on and off and now we live together (we lost our home cause he got laid off), have a beautiful daughter named Salena, gave each other our virginity and have never had sex w/ anyone else, and are engaged to be married. 

Trust me when I say we were AWFUL!! The worst, but we made it and are doing great. Good luck. Ever wanna talk to me about it or just vent you can add me :) 

bamababe1975
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 9:30 AM

Have you tried sitting down with him and talking to him about why you're fighting, what you're fighting about, and that you really want to stop? If you sit down and think about the things you're fighting about, are they all big things or petty things like not putting the cap on the toothpaste or something? 


MommyJill87
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:39 AM

 MY DF and I were the same way, we were also drinking at the time,. but it took a huge falling out, me moving out for 4 months, to realize that we needed to change for eachother and the well being of my DD's....and things are alot better now and I am 32 weeks pregnant with OUR first child.

Counseling is an awesome thing if he'll agree to it, its great having an unbiased 3rd party there to keep things level and neutral.  Having communication is key, but I know how hard  it is to just having a calm conversation sometimes.

I wish the best luck to you and that alot of major issues can be resolved before your LO arrives.

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PEEK05
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:24 PM

Try some counseling.

mommy2011.2012
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:29 PM
My Bf and I are not a perfect couple...but I guess that is the first thing we had to agree on before things could get better. I honestly don't think we fight constantly but I know when we used to hit heads we would stay mad for awhile. But once I got pregnant we wanted to change our childish ways. Here are some of the things you can try and see if they work. 1. When you start to hit heads..say he is irresitably sexy and its hard to be mad..its skips the fight and you get to have make up sex. 2. Never argue mad..you start to agrue about things your not even mad about. Take time to cool off and then come back and talk about it. 3. Realize it's not about just you and him..you have one on the way and the outcome for EVERYTHING is for the baby not you. 4. If he feels that he is right...LET HIM BE. So what who cares tomorrow is another day you can be right tomorrow. No one wants to be right all the time that gets boring. 5. Go out of your way to look nice. If you keep things exciting he will simply be amazed and you will feel good about yourself..two happy people= less to fight about. 6. Last but not least....LISTEN nothing is better to a man when you actually listen to him..when he talks about football..LISTEN ASK QUESTIONS. really understand his passion. It makes him feel like you care..and he will return the favor when you talk about shopping. GOOD LUCK
Jademarae24
by Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:36 PM

There really is no advice that I could give.... EVENTUALLY, you are gonna break up. I say get it over with now. It took me till my son was one and a half to leave his dad. And it was bad between us since we were only together for 4 months.

 

lovealot0587
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:39 PM

fighting is never a good thing, especially when there is kids involved. Me and my SO fought alot and we ended up separating for a few weeks just to come back stronger than ever. There have been times were we have hit a rough patch but we worked through it. have you tried talking to him first? good luck momma

brianna4409
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 12:44 AM

i kinda know what your going through, only im 10 weeks and the father of my baby is the love of my life. when i got pregnant we wernt actually dating just trying to restart our relationship after 8 months of not seeing eachother. we were together for almost 3 years before. and now im pregnant by him and hes got a new gf!! i dont really got much advice...im new. but theres something there making u 2 fight. maybe the fact that u 2 live together getting on eachothers nerves. or maybe u 2 would be fine living together on your own, maybe its the fact of the parents putting tension between you 2. but just know ur not alone. im sorry for what your going through and i wish u 2 the best of luck! 

ATG499
by Wendy on Aug. 18, 2011 at 2:03 AM

welcome

What I would do is go stay at a friend or family member's house for a week and see if the time apart helps any. If you two aren't happy in a relationship, you shouldn't stay together just for the child. That can cause a lot of bad feelings and negative energy, and that's not something you want your child to grow up around. (At least, I hope that's not what you want your child growing up around..) Good luck!

josiahmom
by on Aug. 18, 2011 at 10:43 AM

its childish i used to do it woth my ex.  just keep the love.

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