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I am NOT going to be a horrible parent!

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:04 PM
  • 17 Replies

There are a few things everyone who reads this should know about me before I start:

1. I'm 20 years old. 

2. I WAS a second semester sophomore at UNC-Chapel Hill in North Carolina. 

3. I was majoring in English and Comparative Literature; going for a doctorate so eventually I could teach in universities.

4. I left school to have my baby, who is due in April 2012, becasue I couldn't afford the healthcare there.

5. I AM going back after the baby is born, next fall.

6. No, I don't have a job. When I came home, I tried, but everyone kept telling me that they needed someone longer term than 7 months. I WILL be getting a job after the baby.


Due to some extreme financial issues, after my step-dad lost his job and my Mom got fired from hers b/c we had to move, we are on some really hard times. My step-dad has asked my mother to leave, and we're (we being me, my younger sister, and my Mom) trying to find a new place to live.

Well, we don't have any money saved up because we had to spend it all when my step dad lost his job. Okay. So, my step mother has insessantly been telling me how, in 20 years, I'll end up just like my mother with no money, can't feed my baby, and that I'll be a horrible parent. 

She even got my step-sister to call me and tell me how important it is for me to go back to school, and how, 'I"m all for keeping the baby, but you need to be able to support yourself and the baby on your own." She's told me more than once that I should have had an abortion instead of keeping the baby.

NOW, I KNOW that as a parent, I'm gonna have to support my baby myself. I KNOW I'm gonna have to get a job. I know all of these things. I've always been a very responsible person. I don't know why they think I am just gonna live off the system forever. Yes, we currently get food stamps. BUT, we haven't always. My step-mom and Dad stayed on food stamps most of my childhood.

Also, I'd just like to add, that my step-sister lives with her mother also, and she doesn't pay for her baby's daycare, her car insurance, rent, or bills. All that is paid for by her grandmother and her mom. 

PLEASE do not insult my Mother by saying she's a bad parent. Both my sister and I graduated from high school, were going to college, never used drugs, never drank, nothing. We're excellent kids. BUT, because I got pregnant and I'm not married or with my baby's father, I'll be a horrible parent.

I'm done. Sorry. I'm just...so peeved by that.

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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rhiannon92
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:21 PM
1 mom liked this

It would piss me off too. I am 19, almost 20.  My son is 13 months old. I haven't started college yet. I am on medicaid and get food stamps. I work from home, breastfeed, do cloth diapers, etc. I am going to school as soon as I can. My SO/DF is 10 years older than me. I'm sure there are a lot of people who don't know me who would call me a horrible parent, but I wouldn't listen. People can just be ignorant assholes sometimes. I had plenty of people tell me I should get an abortion too, I am so glad I didn't. My son was just what I needed to turn my life around. I was a crazy teenager who did drugs, drank and all of those things you mentioned BUT that is behind me and I am a great mother and I know it. Parenthood either changes you, or it doesn't. Age or economic status doesn't determine your parenting. You either put your child first or yourself first. I have seen people from all walks of life be good or bad parents. I don't think you will find a mom who would bash you or your family in here. Lets hope not, but if you do come across someone like that, SCREW THEM! :~)

Congratulations and good luck!!  <3

AlwaysExpecting
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:22 PM
2 moms liked this

You won't be a horrible parent. You will be as good of a mother as you want to be. Get out of your stepdad's house ASAP tho, he sounds like an A**

Good luck, I am sure you will be a terrific mom!

AshleyPie
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this

People on the outside never understand how things really are. They may think they do, but unless youre you, how could they? I know its hard but you really have to ignore it. You know youre doing all you can do and thats all that matters.

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haleygee
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:25 PM


Quoting AlwaysExpecting:

You won't be a horrible parent. You will be as good of a mother as you want to be. Get out of your stepdad's house ASAP tho, he sounds like an A**

Good luck, I am sure you will be a terrific mom!

Oh yeah, we are. We've got somewhere to stay until we can get ourselves together better, save up some money, etc.

& thank you!! i think i'll be a great mother, too.

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jvd1709
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds similar to me. I am 18 about to be 19. I was attending a wonderful private school called the Rochester Institute of Technology and majoring in electrical engineering. I left because 1) my baby is due in february 2) even if I wanted to continue there I couldn't cause it was too expensive and 3) I didn't have health insurance coverage there. It was the toughest decision to leave that school because of how hard I worked to get into it but I was willing to do anything for my baby's best interest. I'm looking into other universities currently while living with my parents who pretty much can't support me which is why I am working. My fiancee also got a job so he can help me as much as possible. I am going to continue classes in august once I find my own place and settle down. I cannot stop my life I must keep moving forward and I don't care what anyone says. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother because you seem to have a great head on your shoulders. Keep your head up :)
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haleygee
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:29 PM


Quoting Rhiannon92:

It would piss me off too. I am 19, almost 20.  My son is 13 months old. I haven't started college yet. I am on medicaid and get food stamps. I work from home, breastfeed, do cloth diapers, etc. I am going to school as soon as I can. My SO/DF is 10 years older than me. I'm sure there are a lot of people who don't know me who would call me a horrible parent, but I wouldn't listen. People can just be ignorant assholes sometimes. I had plenty of people tell me I should get an abortion too, I am so glad I didn't. My son was just what I needed to turn my life around. I was a crazy teenager who did drugs, drank and all of those things you mentioned BUT that is behind me and I am a great mother and I know it. Parenthood either changes you, or it doesn't. Age or economic status doesn't determine your parenting. You either put your child first or yourself first. I have seen people from all walks of life be good or bad parents. I don't think you will find a mom who would bash you or your family in here. Lets hope not, but if you do come across someone like that, SCREW THEM! :~)

Congratulations and good luck!!  <3

Yeah. My step-sister sold weed for awhile, which, I don't judge, because you make money however you can, but she didn't graduate from high school, and she's getting divorced now. Which, I have never said to her "you're a shitty person b/c you're getting divorced or you're a dumb ass b/c you quit school." I've always been very respectful of her. I agree. You do what you can for your child, and that's what matters most. Loving them and putting them first.

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heather4511
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:35 PM
1 mom liked this
You will be a great mother! You seem to hAve a good head on your shoulders prior to getting pregnant. Nobody can say you are going to be a bad mother just judging by the circumstances around you that you couldn't control.
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haleygee
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:41 PM


Quoting jvd1709:

Sounds similar to me. I am 18 about to be 19. I was attending a wonderful private school called the Rochester Institute of Technology and majoring in electrical engineering. I left because 1) my baby is due in february 2) even if I wanted to continue there I couldn't cause it was too expensive and 3) I didn't have health insurance coverage there. It was the toughest decision to leave that school because of how hard I worked to get into it but I was willing to do anything for my baby's best interest. I'm looking into other universities currently while living with my parents who pretty much can't support me which is why I am working. My fiancee also got a job so he can help me as much as possible. I am going to continue classes in august once I find my own place and settle down. I cannot stop my life I must keep moving forward and I don't care what anyone says. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother because you seem to have a great head on your shoulders. Keep your head up :)

I was gonna apply there, but I didn't wanna be that far away from my Mama. lol. Such a Mama's girl. Sometimes you just have to take a break from you life due to different circumstances, and get back to it whenever you can. I'm tired of the 'you're irresponsible b/c you left school to give birth to your child' lecture.

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.Angelica.
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:48 PM

Just ignore them. Many people go through hard times, doesn't mean you are a bad parent or that you will be. And in 20 years you won't have a baby to feed anymore. LOL

vkelly2011
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 8:52 PM
Ur stepmom needs to shut up. Just cause she's ur step mom doesn't mean she has a right to say anything. And your not the only one. Me and my husband were going to school when I got pregnant. He's going back next semester n I might be I will someday. He's tried to get a job since may 2011. We haven't been able to keep one. Good luck!!
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