Well, here when i found out i was pregnant, i was 11 hours away from my home, family, friends, and my ex. I had to call to let everyone know the news, and not everyone was happy, Including myself. I wasn't ready to be a mother and i feel the same way now. If it wouldn't be for my mother, i don't know what health my mentality would be in. I was planning to give my son up for adoption, and when i talked about it to my ex, he was all for it.
I ended up driving home to try and patch things up with my ex, and for a while it worked. Until he started cheating on me halfway through the pregnancy. I decided it was best to not be with him for the sake of my heart. When it came time to deliver, i called and called, and finally when i reached him, he refused to come to the hospital. I talked to him about signing the papers for the adoption and he refused. He said there is no way im going to sign a single thing.
So it's been a month and 11 days since then, and he refuses to come see colin, sign the papers, pretty much anything that might make my load a lil lighter. I feel as tho i have been trapped. I am not ready for this,and never thought i would be.. It burns and burns everytime im alone and have time to think.. and idk what to do.. I love my son, just not as much as i feel i should. Any advice ladies..? im at the end of my rope here..
For first thought, your homones are out of control right now, just speaking scientifically, they really are, so everything is worse than it seems. If these feelings keep up for another 2-3weeks promise me you will let your OBGYN know so you can get the help you need.
2. Come up with an action plan. Go file for full custody and get his ass for child support. Regardless if he is in the pic or not, you will kick yourelf for waiting because he might pull out the DNA card and better now than later.
3. See happiness in knowing you get to be with your son. You have a right to be angry with him. But don't let it take over your life.
4. What can you do now to press forward?
Whatever state your in go the the child support office and file. They will do a DNA test and he will have to pay or he'll go to jail. It might seem really hard right now but it will get easier. I'm sorry things didn't go as you wanted. At least your NOT doing this ALONE, don't forget just cause your son isnt old enough to understand he's doing this alone as well. He didn't ask his father to be a asswhole.
Just remember there are easy ways of doing things or the hard way and just cause you don't have money to get what you NEED done doesn't mean there aren't ways to do it. I hope things get easier and when he starts talking and walking you'll have fun with that and just remember he's not always needy or dependant on you forever just the first 3-5yrs and then he's his own person. Be strong and you CAN do this. I wish I could help you more.
IF YOU FEEL THAT YOU CAN'T BE A MOTHER, THEN THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DO ABOUT IT. TALK TO A WOMANS SHELTER, TALK TO A SOCIAL WORKER, OR EVEN A CHURCH. ANYONE THAT CAN HELP YOU AND MOST IMPORTANLY YOU SON COLIN. YES, YOUR HORMONES ARE WILD, AND YOUR EX JUST ADDS TO IT. BUT PUT YOUR SON FIRST. IF YOU LOVE HIM, LIKE A MOTHER LOVES A SON, FIGHT FOR HIM. AND WHAT I MEAN, IS FIGHT YOURSELF FOR HIM. THERE ARE FREE COUNSELING SESSIONS, PARENTING CLASSES, AND A LOT MORE OUT THERE. YOU JUST NEED TO LOOK. AND YOU NEED TO START FILING PAPER WORK FOR YOUR SON TO RECIEVE CHILD SUPPORT. I 110% AGREE WITH THE WOMEN BELOW. GET TO THE COURTHOUSE AS SOON AS YOU CAN.
You know, when I had my daughter I felt the same way about not loving her. When they put her on me, I knew she was mine but I did not feel like she was mine. I felt that way for the longest time, but I was also going through major post partum. She is almost two now, and honestly I could not imagine my life without her. So many times while I was pregnant, I considered adoption but my mom knew I would not be able to handle it emotionally, and so did I. I would be honest, if I already spent over a month with my child already I would be devestated to give him/her up. Colin already knows you are his mommy and loves you. But do what you think or know is right. But I would suggest getting screened for post partum because I would hate it if you went through with adoption and then regretted it later. having a baby while young is hard but having depression is even harder. Talk to a counselor but go after the dad for child support and whatnot. I wish you the best.
This. He knew you didn't want the baby. You can't be forced to do it just because he wont sign papers. IDK how it works as far as your son being placed in the system, That would scare me because so many kids get lost in the system. If thats why you haven't considered this then its time to find some legal help so you can get your son placed with a family before things get worse for you and eventually him.
Quoting KaroGreenly:
If you don't want the baby. Take him to a manned fire station or hospital. Tell them that you can't care for him. They will attempt to contact his father. He will then have to take the kid, or sign over his rights.
I agree with this good luck momma
Quoting KaroGreenly:
If you don't want the baby. Take him to a manned fire station or hospital. Tell them that you can't care for him. They will attempt to contact his father. He will then have to take the kid, or sign over his rights.
Quoting remaining_me:This. He knew you didn't want the baby. You can't be forced to do it just because he wont sign papers. IDK how it works as far as your son being placed in the system, That would scare me because so many kids get lost in the system. If thats why you haven't considered this then its time to find some legal help so you can get your son placed with a family before things get worse for you and eventually him.
Quoting KaroGreenly:
If you don't want the baby. Take him to a manned fire station or hospital. Tell them that you can't care for him. They will attempt to contact his father. He will then have to take the kid, or sign over his rights.
music fanatics
- rawrxitsxcloe
on Dec. 14, 2011 at 4:12 AM