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How to get these mom's to back off?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:52 AM
  • 21 Replies

My four year old stepson is in a baseball program, its an all year thing, in the winter they play in the local gym with foam balls, its a 1-18 program, they start as toddlers and can play at different levels all throughout their childhood, they play local teams, its just a fun laid back thing. My stepson has been in it since he was 18 months old and has been with the same group of kids, so he's made some good friends through this. 
Theres a group of moms who kind of have their little clique there, one of them I know pretty well because our kids are good friends and love to play together so they have regular playdates. The others, I don't really know or talk to, my husband and I are 19, he had his son young, so they don't quite see me as "one of the group." My stepson had a playdate with his friend the other day and the mom who I know okay broke down to my husband and I and said that her friends have been doing something that disturbs her and she thinks that we have a right to know. They stare at my husband and making sexual comments about him, saying "oh hes so hot" and saying what they would "do to him." She said that when he first signed his stepson up, they used to call him "jailbait" behind his back (he was 17). That means this has been going on for over two years, at first she joked along with them, back when it wasn't "that bad", it used to be just a joke on the side, but its got more and more serious with the talk and now they spend a good 15 minutes of the hour long practice talking about him. 

Im not jealous, I know he's not going to run off with them or something, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable and it disturbs me that these 25-35 year old women do this on a regular basis. It makes my husband extremely uncomfortable to the point that he doesn't feel comfortable going to the practices, but he does anyway because he wants to see his son play. I never really looked at them or paid much attention, but now that I know, all I could notice today was them whispering and giggling and clearly shamelessly staring at my husbands butt, it makes me so uncomfortable, I cant even imagine how my husband feels. So after practice I went up to them and said "look, I don't want to get into it, but I dot appreciate what you are doing and saying, you know what it is, and I would appreciate it if you would stop." They played dumb and acted like I was crazy and dont know what Im talking about, the woman that I know said "come on guys, you know what she's talking about, lets just stop", and they just said "shut up ___, we don't know what your talking about", then they went and got their kids and left quickly. The mom I know said that if I wanted to go to the coach about it she would back me up as a witness, but I really don't want to start something. How can I get these women to back off and quit it? Should I go to the coach?

CafeMom Tickers
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Keirasmom11
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:29 AM

 yes i would because it could back fire on u somehow u dont want that to happen i had to go to the coach a lot of times about the samething

 

dandeli0nwishes
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:24 AM
1 mom liked this

You handled it the right way, they decided to continue to act like 12 year olds. Not much you or the couch can do. I don't think it's so serious you should press charges for sexual harassment or anything. I would just try take it as a compliment.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:25 PM

I agree, you handled it well.

Quoting dandeli0nwishes:

You handled it the right way, they decided to continue to act like 12 year olds. Not much you or the couch can do. I don't think it's so serious you should press charges for sexual harassment or anything. I would just try take it as a compliment.


gracieb3
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I can't give advice on what to do now because I just don't know.  I'm not saying you did anything wrong but I'm offering how I'd of handled it in case it helps anyone else in a similar situation.  I'd of went and sat with them every time.  I'd of joined the little clique and enjoyed silently knowing that they now had to behave.  I'd of sought them out every time and made sure to befriend them all.  Prayers for you.  

B-FigNewton
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:51 PM


Quoting amonkeymom:

I agree, you handled it well.

Quoting dandeli0nwishes:

You handled it the right way, they decided to continue to act like 12 year olds. Not much you or the couch can do. I don't think it's so serious you should press charges for sexual harassment or anything. I would just try take it as a compliment.



charliebean
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Hmm.
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PlineyJane
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:58 PM
Yep definatly follow them around till they found someone else to stalk! Don't think its going to get worse but they may get snarly with you from now on though.

Quoting gracieb3:

I can't give advice on what to do now because I just don't know.  I'm not saying you did anything wrong but I'm offering how I'd of handled it in case it helps anyone else in a similar situation.  I'd of went and sat with them every time.  I'd of joined the little clique and enjoyed silently knowing that they now had to behave.  I'd of sought them out every time and made sure to befriend them all.  Prayers for you.  

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LucyHarper
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I dont find sexual harassment to be a "compliment", especially when its making my husband feel so uncomfortable. If it were a woman whose male coworker or boss constantly stared at her breasts and said sexual things behind her back about how he would have sex with her, would you tell her to take it as a compliment and that it isn't that serious?

Quoting dandeli0nwishes:

You handled it the right way, they decided to continue to act like 12 year olds. Not much you or the couch can do. I don't think it's so serious you should press charges for sexual harassment or anything. I would just try take it as a compliment.


1.hot.mama2005
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:19 AM

I do think you handled it well, but if it continues, go talk to the coach about it. Good luck!

JayBearsmomma
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:22 AM
My smart ass would confront them lol
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