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Step mom of 3, all under the age of 3! What do i do if they call me mom?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:44 PM
  • 15 Replies

I am engaged, it has been a rocky road!! I am the to be step mom of a 5 month old girl, 19 month girls << same mom,,, then a 2 1/2 year old boy, << differnt mom, yes, it seems messed up,but it was a lot of drama, my fiance was with his first girlfriend and cheated,, and got his 2nd baby mom pregnant, they first girl and him split and he tried to make it work with the other girl, well, they split, and she lied saying she was on B.C and she got pregnant again, then we started dating, we have grown up in the same small town, same highschool, friends in school, and then we found out she was pregn! so here we are,, most of the mess is all figured out, the first girl with his son, is awesome, she works with us, and we all co parent along with her BF, she is a blessing!! And we are grateful for one another, but the second girl, eh,, not so much, she has threatned to kill her self and the baby (lylah) when she was pregnant, and is now sending texts to my fiance saying she is again, she is keeping the two girls, ( madelynn, and lylah) away from us, because we are together! How selfish! She broke into our house while pregnant, and while her other daughter was taking a nap with us, and took her daughter in her hands, broke in, and started beating on my fiance on his back, with her 6month daughter in her hands!!! so we called the police and made a police report, she also went to the coping center, for her thoughts about suicide when she was pregnant, i get it, i get it! yeah that would suck to be in your postiion, but you did it to YOURSELF, you knew what you were doing, and that he had a GF, pregnant,and then you ended up pregnant! He is not a saint, but LEARNED HIS LESSON, and loves all of his children very much!! Nicholas his first,,, and Madelynn his seocnd, are 9 months apart!!!. Anyways,, so then a couple months ago she told michael the girls are NOT ALLOWED around me, and she found out that they were, i mean come on lady, i LIVE THERE. what is he supposed to do?? So agaaaaaiiinn, she comes at this time at 5 am pounding on the door, we have all three children there, one that is not hers, and breaks through the door, screaming, hitting cussing, waking up the kids, so we call the cops and she gets arrested, and the cops said that he has right to madelynn the oldest of thier two, but not lylah, because she was only about 1 month and the court papers hadnt gone through yet, so she had the option of leaving her with us, or possibly getting ahold of someone at 5 am to come get her, and the officer WARNED her, if noone comes in 10 mins, she will be in the STATES custody, and how selfish!! of her to put her child through that!! thank god, her mother came just in time! so after a while we dropped the charges because we didnt think that was the best thing for the kids to have thier mom in jail, so you would think she would be thankfull, well anyways, now she wont let him see the kids AT all, and we just got a lawyer today! my question was about what if they call me mom, but sorry i went on a rant lmao... BUT really, what should i do if they call me mom?? they are so young and are just now starting to talk, i know i will NEVER EVER, be their mom. but i would like to be a mother figure in thier lives

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KayelynnsMama
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:01 PM

My husband and I got together when my SD was 9 months old. We would have her and her brother for weeks at a time.. And even when their mother had them she would leave them with her mom to go out. SD started calling me Mommy all the time. I would say "No, I'm Megan, not Mommy." She then started calling me "Meggy." Now at almost 4 she still calls me Meggy. It's super cute. Maybe You can come up with a cute name like that or something.

Dorky-momma
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:18 PM
U just correct them its very normal 4 them 2 call the person in a relationship with her father or mother mommy or Daddy. Just tell them that would realy hurt ur mommys feelings if she ever heard u say that maybe try & find urself a special name they can call you. and try and stop it before it begins.
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Katherine696997
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:19 PM
Quoting KayelynnsMama:

My husband and I got together when my SD was 9 months old. We would have her and her brother for weeks at a time.. And even when their mother had them she would leave them with her mom to go out. SD started calling me Mommy all the time. I would say "No, I'm Megan, not Mommy." She then started calling me "Meggy." Now at almost 4 she still calls me Meggy. It's super cute. Maybe You can come up with a cute name like that or something.



cgriff89
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:26 PM

Just correct them. Honestly almost every child when they start talking will call everyone mom or dad. All you need to do is correct them. 

I have 2 children with my Ex (DS is almost 5 and DD is 3). Then my DH has a DD that is 4 1/2 And we have 1 DD together that is almost 1. I have been with my DH since my then youngest (DD1) was about 20 months old. She called him dad a couple of times because that is what she heard SD call him. All we did was correct her and now we don't have that issue. I figure when a child is old enough to understand everything and chooses to call DH dad that they will ask and at that point it will be okay. 

B-FigNewton
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:50 PM


Quoting Dorky-momma:

U just correct them its very normal 4 them 2 call the person in a relationship with her father or mother mommy or Daddy. Just tell them that would realy hurt ur mommys feelings if she ever heard u say that maybe try & find urself a special name they can call you. and try and stop it before it begins.


1.hot.mama2005
by Ruby Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:23 AM

Just correct them when they do it. Good luck!

JayBearsmomma
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM
I wouldn't have them call me mom, they have moms and u aren't it so just tell them ur not and move on to a different topic
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JoyfulMommy1221
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Wow that's a mess! Anyway, talk it over w your df. Maybe you could be mama *your name* or just reiterate that your name is what it is. I was a nanny and when the youngest called me mama I'd answer with "I'm Erin, what's up?"
You will be a mother figure no matter what they call you. I have a few in my life (and my mom is an awesome mom). My MIL is like a 2nd mom to me and I call her by her first name. =)
JoyfulMommy1221
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:34 AM
Forgot to add, the reason why I said you could be mama *your name* is that my sil just got married and her child is from a previous relationship. Her child is 6 and decided to call her step dad "Daddy". To reduce hurt feelings from her father, her sd is "Daddy *his name*" and her father is "Daddy *his name*".
BeachMama05
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 11:51 AM


Quoting 1.hot.mama2005:

Just correct them when they do it. Good luck!


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