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and advice, ladies?!

Posted by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 3:51 PM
  • 6 Replies
Sooo. Im really thinking about breaking up with DF this week sometime. I love him to death and he's mostly amazing and he's great with our daughter and pretty good to me. But he's sooo damn lazy I really just cant stand it. He doesnt have a job and doesnt really try to even get one, he seems way more into his videogames and pot and such. Ive tried telling him I need him to make more of an effort, and he says he will but he never does. I know he could be soo amazing and do so good if he would just try, but he doesnt. And its to the point where I think hes kinda holding me back. I know he loves Harlee and I with all his heart, and i'd never take her from him no matter what happens to him and i. But I cant stand his total laziness anymore. I dont know what to do or how to get through to him. But im done just sitting around waiting for him to change when obviously he isnt going to. I dont want to break up with him and honestly im scared to be alone but I really dont know what I should do. I just need better for my daughter and he isnt doing anything let alone his best for her. I dont really know what my question is here, but have any of you been in a similar situation? And how did you/would you handle it??
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by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 3:51 PM
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Replies (1-6):
MrsMorton8.6.11
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM
The pot would automatically be a deal breaker with a baby. Have you thought about just leaving for a little while so he can see what he would be missing? If he doesn't have a job how does he pay for his weed and games?
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AylaKay
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:15 PM
I would have to have him leave, we live with my dad atm :/ but I want him to realize what he's going to lose if he doesnt man up, and I want him to know that im serious. But at the same time I dont want to hurt him, but maybe theres no way around that here. And people give him weed(mainly his mom!) and the games he borrows from a friend :/


Quoting MrsMorton8.6.11:

The pot would automatically be a deal breaker with a baby. Have you thought about just leaving for a little while so he can see what he would be missing? If he doesn't have a job how does he pay for his weed and games?

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LadyDeath665
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:48 PM

Maybe you leaving him will open up his eyes. Maybe he needs to hit rock bottom to realize what he has and what he is going to lose. If he doesn't have you and your dad to fall back on he will either pick up his own pieces or fall apart even worse. Good luck!

MrsMorton8.6.11
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:54 PM
Ohh, well tell him he needs to start helping out and get a job, or he'll have to find his own place. If he doesn't you'll need to stick to your word and make him leave. If he really cares about your daughter he would be willing to do whatever to take care of her. I would talk to his mom about the weed, I wouldn't want that around my kid, but I don't even let dh smoke ciggerettes at home.


Quoting AylaKay:

I would have to have him leave, we live with my dad atm :/ but I want him to realize what he's going to lose if he doesnt man up, and I want him to know that im serious. But at the same time I dont want to hurt him, but maybe theres no way around that here. And people give him weed(mainly his mom!) and the games he borrows from a friend :/




Quoting MrsMorton8.6.11:

The pot would automatically be a deal breaker with a baby. Have you thought about just leaving for a little while so he can see what he would be missing? If he doesn't have a job how does he pay for his weed and games?


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.Angelica.
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 4:55 PM

this. talk to him and let him know how you feel and that you are serious.

Quoting LadyDeath665:

Maybe you leaving him will open up his eyes. Maybe he needs to hit rock bottom to realize what he has and what he is going to lose. If he doesn't have you and your dad to fall back on he will either pick up his own pieces or fall apart even worse. Good luck!


rawzle
by on Feb. 12, 2012 at 6:51 PM

This is EXACTLY what my bf was like except our baby isn't here yet. He seemed like he wanted to be there and was sweet but he didn't make an effort. I honestly pushed him. He didn't do anything for so long and it wasnt until I broke down on him because he stayed out w the guys that I really called him irresponsible and lazy.

That was months ago. He has a job now and has applied to a second one now that my hours have gotten cut. 

I really just think you need to be straight with him. Heart to heart or a super serious convo. He needs to know that he could lose you if he doesnt step up.

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