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Should I keep my baby?

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Poll

Question: What should I do?

Options:

Get an abortion

Put the baby up for adoption

Raise him/her myself


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 2091

View Results

I'm 16 years old. I just found out yesterday that I'm pregnant, and have already set up a doctors appointment. The father is 17 and previously said he would step up, but now that I'm for sure pregnant he's freaking out. He's accusing me of the baby not really being his, so I know I can't fully count on him for support. Maybe he'll come around sooner or later, but I'm not going to put any faith into him.

I live with my parents and they're doing very well financially, and they're leaving this decision up to me. if they would help support me for the next two years, then the baby would have everything it needs while living here with me and my parents. That would give me time to complete school (I would go to a alternative high school that helps you graduate faster)get through some community college classes, get a job and save up some money for my own apartment. 

I have three good friends who I know will help me however they can, and give me as much support as I need, along with my family. 

I know raising a baby would mean I would have to give up everything, friends, parties, activities, but i think I'm willing to do that. I would put my full time and responsibility into the baby. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I chose to have sex, I need to own up to the repercussions that followed. 

My parents are looking into abortion, but I don't think I could really go through with it. I have the same opinion as a lot of people that this baby didn't ask to be created, it was my stupid actions and carelessness and now I need to step up, grow up and be a mother. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, it's my biggest dream, I just didn't know it would be coming so soon. 

Any advice would be amazing, thank you.

by on Mar. 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM
Replies (771-780):
mlg9209
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 1:48 AM
She is not a mother until she gives birth AND raises that baby and tends to its every need.mostly Any woman can get pregnant. But can they raise the baby and be an actual mother. ?


Quoting whitepaw7:



Quote:

I know raising a baby would mean I would have to give up everything, friends, parties, activities, but i think I'm willing to do that. I would put my full time and responsibility into the baby. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I chose to have sex, I need to own up to the repercussions that followed. 


My parents are looking into abortion, but I don't think I could really go through with it. I have the same opinion as a lot of people that this baby didn't ask to be created, it was my stupid actions and carelessness and now I need to step up, grow up and be a mother. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, it's my biggest dream, I just didn't know it would be coming so soon. 

I like how responsibly you are dealing with this, you seem like you have thought this through. And Congratulations- you are a now a mother!!, no matter what you do, your baby has a heartbeat already! You sound like you will do just fine and love goes along way, if you do decide you can't raise this child, at least give your baby a chance, there are many couples who would love to adopt, I personally know one who has been trying to adopt for over a year. But if you can, keep your baby!!


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mlg9209
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 1:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Just do what u feel ur supposed to do. I am very happy I kept my little baby he's now 4.5 months and is my world.he's the little boy his dad always wanted. I had him at 19.under much different circumstances though- sophomore in college. Living with boyfriend.etc. He has everything he needs. It gets tough and its heartbraking. But I wouldn't trade it for th world
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
myrandabrown13
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 2:18 AM

by everything you just said i think your mind is already made up...


_Amanda.
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 7:10 AM
1 mom liked this
You sound like you could do it. I was in a worse situation and my son and
I are great now. I was kicked out of the house at 16 when I got pregnant. I had no help. I did it, so can you. I say stick to what you're thinking. That little boy or girl will make it all worth it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ProudMommy_1034
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 10:01 AM
1 mom liked this
I am 17 . When i found out i was preqnant i was 15 '& had her at 16 . Her dad '& i are the same aqe . We raise her just fine of course we need help sometimes but my child does not qo without . Yu need to keep your baby . Yu was qrown enouqh to lay on your back with your leqs in the air , so yu need to be qrown enouqh to deal with the adult consequences ! Stop lookinq for an easy way out .
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whitepaw7
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 5:35 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband and I are currently expecting our eighth child, I do agree that to fully experience motherhood you would raise the baby and tend to all its needs. What I meant by that was simply that she now has the life of her baby relying on her, and she is the mother and needs to decide what is best for the baby. If she decides to raise the baby and fully care for it - I applaude her. And if she decides she is not ready for the full experience yet, I would commend her for giving the baby a chance with a family who wants to adopt, but at laest the baby has a chance, it doesn't with abortion. 

Quoting mlg9209:

She is not a mother until she gives birth AND raises that baby and tends to its every need.mostly Any woman can get pregnant. But can they raise the baby and be an actual mother. ?


Quoting whitepaw7:





Quote:

I know raising a baby would mean I would have to give up everything, friends, parties, activities, but i think I'm willing to do that. I would put my full time and responsibility into the baby. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I chose to have sex, I need to own up to the repercussions that followed. 


My parents are looking into abortion, but I don't think I could really go through with it. I have the same opinion as a lot of people that this baby didn't ask to be created, it was my stupid actions and carelessness and now I need to step up, grow up and be a mother. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, it's my biggest dream, I just didn't know it would be coming so soon. 

I like how responsibly you are dealing with this, you seem like you have thought this through. And Congratulations- you are a now a mother!!, no matter what you do, your baby has a heartbeat already! You sound like you will do just fine and love goes along way, if you do decide you can't raise this child, at least give your baby a chance, there are many couples who would love to adopt, I personally know one who has been trying to adopt for over a year. But if you can, keep your baby!!




KnitWit0686
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 6:47 PM

While it will be difficult to be a single mom, which I am just now learning at 25, you sound like you know what you want to do and that you have a good head on your shoulders...which is a good thing when having a baby. No one here can help you make this decision, but you seem to be doing a great job with the options you have.

slittlefield920
by on Mar. 18, 2012 at 8:17 PM

Only you know what is best for you. I firmly believe that if you put your heart and soul into it, you CAN do it. Family support is going to be your number 1 going through this pregnancy. Having a baby is a true miracle. I got pregnant with my son at 19, and I just started college. I gave birth to him the semester I took a full load of classes. I made it, had my baby, and graduated with my teaching degree last year. It's so rewarding to be successful and know that you worked so hard. Had work, dedication, and family support will get you through this. You can do it! :)

Rae.Mommy
by on Mar. 19, 2012 at 12:06 PM

You sound very mature. Anyway, we can all tell you what to do, but in the end, you'll need to make the final decision. Think about what is best for your baby. I have a little one, and I'm a teen. It's hard, but it is worth it. If you're willing to take responsibility, you'll never regret it. I never regret my child. It's hard, but so is everything else in life. Just take it positively and it's not as bad as everyone says. I think the "giving up everything" is coming from negative moms who would rather be out partying. You'll still have time for friends, you can get alone time sometimes, they don't cry all the time, and you'll love him or her more than you've ever thought was possible. It's a great feeling, and if you decide to keep him or her, I know you'll realize it too. Adoption is always another option; there are so many families who can't have kids of their own and maybe you'll be that little blessing that goes into their lives. (: who knows. But overall, the best advice i can give you is make the decision for yourself. Don't worry what others will think. This is your baby. Your body. No one elses opinion should alter your decision, at all. No one knows what you're going through physically and mentally, so they have no idea what they would do if they were you. Be strong. I realize doing this without the "father" is hard, but your the mommy. Plenty of single mommies do it daily. You can do this.


If you need to talk, pm me. (:  Good luck.

NiquesGirl
by on Mar. 19, 2012 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi Sophie:  Keep your baby!  You can do it, I can just tell by the way you talk that you are smart, loving and caring and will be a great mom and successful in life. This is just a detour not a dead end.  You will accomplish your goals because you are determined.  And don't feel like you have to give up all your friends and activities.  You will just learn to enjoy new activities that involve your baby - family type activities :)

Your story brought chills to my spin, made me teary eyed yet filled my heart with a sense of admiration for you as well.  I was you 24 years ago!!  I am now 40.  I was 16, pregnant, afraid, and abandoned by the baby's father, who same as your guy said if anything like that ever happened he would step up, but instead he stepped out, accusing me of being pregnant by someone else.  

Long story short, I knew I could love my baby and with the support of family, give him a wonderful life.  I went to an alternative school and graduated  when he was 4 weeks old.  Then went straight to trade school, graduated, got my own place at 18 and been on my own ever since.  It wasn't always easy but it would have been alot harder had I not had my family.

Now 24 years later my son is 22, smart, loving, my greatest gift.  And by the age of 28, I became a successful entrepreneur who owns her own business.

So you can do it!!

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