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Young mom needs some support

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:59 PM
  • 11 Replies

I'm a new mom and trying to figure everything out one day at a time. It definitely is a hardship because I am young. I can't stand all the dirty looks and whispers I get despite the fact that I'm almost 21 and was engaged to the father of my son before I got pregnant but of course people always judge by what they see. I'm just not sure about how to handle things when people stare or make comments. I'm usually a pretty even tempered person but I just can't deal with it. I don't regret my son but it makes me feel ashamed when people act that way around me. 

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jmg4211
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 11:39 AM

 I know exactly how you feel. And don't be ashamed. Young mothers can be better mothers then some of the older ones and the other way around. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my daughter and I was engaged too. I got the same looks and the same whispers. Age doesn't determine how good of a mother you are so let the looks and whispers go.  It's not worth the confrontation. You know your a great mother and that's all that matters

tm88rn
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 11:41 AM

No one can make you feel ashamed. If you are happy and you know what you are doing is right for you and your child, ignore the comments and looks. That is just part of being a young mother. I was 22 when I had my twins, I had been married since I was 18, I was working and had a college degree, also since I was 18. I am 23 now, and pregnant again, and I still get nasty looks and comments. I just ignore them. That is all you can do. Unfortunately, many young mothers are bad mothers and those give the rest of us a bad name. You are 21, you are an adult, you are just young. You just have to learn to ignore it. 

Mommie2Be1993
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM
1 mom liked this

I thought it mattered when i got pregnant since i am only 18. But i have a family who supports me. And i know that im not a bad person. Obviously your not either. You could have taken the easy way out just like most girls would do. See we take responsibility for the things we do. Your a beautiful girl with a beautiful son, Forget all those people who look at you weird. They see you smile and all happy with your son and they aren't happy with it cause they know you are happier then they are. Don't worry about them they are nothing. Your strong :)

Rachellee12
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Its because the way they depict young moms on television. Stuck up "adults", if you want to even call them that, judge whoever they see. Even if they aren't young, young. I had the same experience. I think that it helped me however that my fiance is 9 years older than me. He was my motivation to keep going. He would defend my honor (I know, so old fashioned) in front of anyone. He didn't care. He was there for me every step, and has been ever since. I used to get dirty looks, I would just point and laugh, then they would turn around and look around themselves like there was something funny going on behind them, then I would say no, your face, that's what I'm laughing at. It doesn't bother me now that my son is here. I don't even look at anyone else but my son or fiance when we are out. It's like they are my blinders.


I was a bitch when I was pregnant, I don't know if it was the hormones or what, but thats why I did what I did and said what I said to those mean people.

I remember one time my mom saw me do that and she went behind me explaining it was the hormones. I told her to stop apologizing for me, etc.

Anyways. I was pregnant at 18. Gave birth at 19.

Meredithrocks
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 2:38 PM
1 mom liked this

I know how you feel, it is horrible to have someone stare at you and make some kind of rude comment, especially when you know that you're doing a good job. I have just learned to ignore them, even though in the back of my mind I am always really hurt, and yes, even ashamed sometimes.

Only YOU know what kind of mother you are, they are just judging.


Check out the new Teen Moms group!

A group exclusively for teen mothers under 20, to talk and ask questions of other teens, about the joys and struggles of teen motherhood!

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sbdbailey
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

i'm 18 almost 19 and i dont think i got too many stares but i was asked my age a lot. most people think being late 20's and early 30's thats the reasonable age to become a mother. or expect every person to be married which they dont understand even birth control can fail or some people just have other ideas about what they want their lives like. but truthfully no age can define a mother it's how well they take care of their child or children. 

Bgbluford785
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I would show my lil guy off even more!! Forget about people u don't know!! The don't matter and never will!! I don't even care what people I care about say lol I'm very independent and love my lil boy and soon to be 2 lil boys so much that I could get dirty looks all day and wouldn't matter bc I'm blessed to have such a bundel of joy in my life!! My dad always told me f*** um!! Lol I get it now :-) so I would tell u the same f*** um!! Good luck feel better sweetie!!!
sadiebug1228
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 6:59 PM

i know exactly what ur going thru! i found out i was pregnant on my 16th birthday. when i started showing i had to go thru high school with the stares and not only did one of my old best friends talk about me behind my back but i had people talking about me to my face. its harder than most people think. im 20 now and i just had #2 and i still get the same looks, it gets old after a while. People think im too young and irresposible to take care of one baby let alone 2. even tho i put myself thru college and im doing everything in my power to take care of my 2 children, and im about to be a licensed massage therapist and making more money than anyone in my family. i just want to prove everyone wrong.

LauraLea2011
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 7:14 PM

I feel the same way, im 20 and my son is 4 month old. i look younger than 20 and i've even had someone say "you look too young to drive! you should NOT be having kids already!" and im usually reallly calm and patient and friendly, but this was just rude! and i ended up telling her "are you sure your not too old to drive? mind your own business." (she was probably 50 something)... your not alone! and its very irritating to deal with, but i just keep lookin at my baby and thinking "wow, he is perfect!" and im so proud that he is mine! i show him off and try not to let the dirty looks bother me :)

hisproudmommy16
by on Apr. 21, 2012 at 2:11 PM

Thank you to all of you for the support. It means a lot. Lately I've just been having a really hard time with things. The joys of hormones. It's always nice to hear that others understand exactly how you feel. 

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